Unexpected Moments
by shannyfish
Summary: Alex has a boyfriend that she's kept a secret, one that's made her extremely happy, but will it last once he's exposed to everyone else and everything that happens in Alex's life?
1. Sisters' Night

**Author's Notes:** This story takes place before "Solitude". Please follow me on Tumblr - shannyfishwriter for sneak peeks, extras, and updates! :D

* * *

The day was beautiful and Alex _almost_ was sad about having to go to work into the dark, grey filled DEO base. Today, Alex felt sunny and she'd even put on something that wasn't black and then she remembered that the DEO uniform was pretty much black. Her cheery sky blue blousy top wasn't exactly what she wore for work, it was more something that Kara would wear. It was okay, though, she had an extra set of clothes in her locker, so she just planned on changing.

" _What_ are you wearing, Danvers?" Torres asked as she walked past.

"Clothes," Alex shot back, biting back a smile and then shook her head. There would likely be a discussion later with the other woman. Right now, though, Alex needed to hurry to the lockers in order to change. She'd almost made it into the door, when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Alex?"

Crap.

Turning, she didn't wipe the bright smile from her face. "Sir?" she replied. Alex wasn't sure who was around, so 'Sir' was a good default to J'onn or Hank. Right now her boss looked confused, he probably didn't realize that she kept a spare set of clothes in her locker. "I was just going to change," she said quickly as she motioned to the door.

"I've never seen you wear a color before," J'onn said, his voice was still confused.

"Black is actually a color," Alex said slowly, an amused smile on her face.

"It's one you ever wear."

"That _we_...wear a lot...Sir," Alex pointed out and then pointed to the door again. "I should go and get changed." Most agents at the DEO wore all black, so there was a reason why she stuck out so much at the moment. She was feeling it, but she honestly didn't care about that, Alex mostly just wanted to get to work.

"Okay," he said. "And Alex?"

She'd _almost_ gotten into the locker room and then found herself turning back around. "Yes?"

"Happy looks good on you."

Happy _felt_ good.

* * *

" _Come on_ , Alex! You've been out with this guy, _how many times_?" Kara asked. She was practically pleading as she followed Alex towards the exit of the DEO, Kara was still dressed as Supergirl. "Aren't you going to _at least_ introduce him to _me_? I mean, I'm not as scary as your mom…"

"Also, don't tell her-"

"You _haven't_ told Eliza you're dating?!"

Alex shrugged. "It actually wasn't brought up the last time we spoke." She'd changed back into the sky blue blouse and was looking forward to her date. "Look, Kara, I know you want to meet him, but it still feels... _new_."

"You two have gone to dinner practically _every_ night this week. I don't even know his name," Kara pointed out.

That was fair.

"All I know," Kara said, turning quite dramatic. "Is that you met him somewhere in the city and-"

"Okay, okay," Alex gave in quickly. Kara was looking at her like a puppy and Alex had to admit that her sister was right. It was fair of Kara to ask questions. Multiple dates with the same person hadn't really been something that Alex had done in the last few months. So, for her to be as happy and serious about a person, Alex had just wanted to keep him all to herself. Everything else in their lives was shared so much between the two of them and even with J'onn. Sometimes it was nice to have something to _yourself_. "His name is Lucas Lewis and I met him at Noonan's."

"Maybe I know him…"

"Probably not," Alex told her with a smile and a shake of her head as they came to a stop.

"Do I get to know what his job is?"

 _His profession wouldn't hurt_ , Alex thought. It was sort of nice being able to share this with her sister even though she'd enjoyed it being just her secret. "He's a lawyer."

" _A lawyer_?" Kara questioned and was obviously surprised.

Alex nodded. "He works pro bono cases."

" _Really_?"

"Why is that so shocking?"

Kara shrugged and waved a hand around as she seemed to be searching for the right words. "I don't know, Alex. I guess I didn't really see you with a guy in a suit. I mean, you went on that date with Max-"

"We _don't_ speak of that," Alex said quickly and sharply as she glared at Kara for a moment. "That was for _work_."

"Oh-kay…" Kara said slowly and didn't seem convinced. "Is this Lucas Lewis attorney guy going for sainthood or something?"

Alex was about to tell her sister the whole story that she'd been told. How Lucas had gotten into law because his wife and daughter (he's married her straight out of high school) had been viciously killed and the killer had been caught, but justice had never been served, but then her phone went off. A bright smile spread across her face before she put the phone up to her ear. "Hi," she greeted the caller a bit giddy. "I'm leaving work now-"

"Actually, I have to cancel," Lucas told her on the other end. It was clear that he felt bad about it. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I really need to work on this case I'm going to court for tomorrow. Trying to keep some kids safe-"

"No, no...of course," Alex said. "I forgive you, but I expect a rain check."

"I had made reservations at Giovanni's, they already have my card and my permission for you to still go to dinner and I hope you bring Kara or perhaps some friends."

"You don't have-"

" _Please_ ," Lucas said gently. " _I want to_. I want you to have a good time. Can you honestly tell me that you don't have someone to go to dinner with?"

Alex looked at Kara and smiled. "Maybe I'll make it a girls' night."

"With Kara?"

"Yes, you two will have to meet soon."

"I'm looking forward to it," he assured. "Enjoy dinner and text me later tonight."

"Thank you and I will." She ended the call. "What do you think about Italian for dinner?"

"I thought-"

"He has to work," Alex filled in. "But he has already arranged reservations and is picking up the check...so, are you available?"

Kara beamed and then linked her arm with Alex's. "Just as long as we have enough time for me to change."

"I don't think capes are part of the dress code."

"I guess glasses will have to do then."

Alex watched her sister hurry off to change, she was giddy with excitement. In truth, even though Alex was a little sad about not being able to have dinner with Lucas, this was a nice chance for her and Kara to have a normal dinner together and they never did that unless it involved take-out. She and Lucas had already gone over the fact that both of their careers were important and extremely demanding and they were both okay with it. As far as Alex was concerned, they were both doing good in the world.

There was a whoosh and Kara was back at her side and dressed as Kara Danvers instead of Supergirl and looked just as excited as before. "I'm ready."

"You know it's been awhile since you and I actually went out for a meal."

"We go out _all the time_ ," Kara brushed off with a wave of her hand as they headed out once again. "You always look very nice in black, especially with with the vest."

Alex let out a laugh. "I mean when guns _aren't_ involved."

"Well, we have sister TV watching time and eating on my couch."

"It's not _quite_ the same," Alex pointed out. "This is more _adult_ of us."

"Does this mean I get to hear more about Lucas? And was I mistaken in hearing that he _wants_ to meet me?"

Alex stared at her sister for a long moment before pointing an accusing finger at her. "You were using your super hearing."

"What? Can you really blame me? Also, he sounds really nice."

There was no way she could be mad at Kara, so she just shook her head brushing it off. "He _is_ really nice."

"You know what?" Kara asked. "He makes you smile-"

"Like you smile around James?"

"Hey, we're not talking about _me_."

"I'm just trying to acquaint my relationship to one of yours." Alex knew that her sister was in complete denial about her feelings for James Olsen and vice versa, but that didn't mean that Alex had to ignore that it was actually out there. James was the only one who made Kara go stupidly smiley and happy in love. While Alex didn't think she was quite to that extreme, she could admit that Lucas made her extremely happy. Happier than she'd been in a while.

"I thought you were taking me to dinner?"

"Oh, we're going, just don't think that we're going to only talk about Lucas at this dinner."

"Who else would we talk about?"

Alex just eyed her sister. "Turnaround _is_ fair play."

"What? That doesn't even make sense, Alex. I'm not dating anyone."

* * *

"It's still sort of early, we could watch 'Killjoys', I think it's next on our queue," Kara offered. "I even have ice cream-"

"I don't think I could eat another bite."

Kara beamed at her. "You'll have to extend my thanks to Lucas for the lovely dinner."

They walked a bit and the more that they'd talked about Lucas during dinner, the more excited Alex was to introduce Kara to him. After all, there was nothing in the world that she could think that Lucas and Kara would dislike in each other. Kara was such a sweet person and filled with such kindness and love while Lucas was dedicated to doing good things for the less fortunate. If anything, Kara and Lucas might get along _too_ well and they'd have everything to talk about. Alex would be more than okay with that.

"We could have game night," Kara offered. "Or movie night. He could come over and we could invite Winn and James-"

"That might be _too_ much all at once, don't you think?"

Kara shrugged. "There's always having _Eliza_ coming to town to meet him."

"Vetoed."

This seemed to only make Kara giggle. Alex couldn't help but smile a little brighter. Her sister linked her arm with Alex's and then laid her head lightly on Alex's shoulder. "You've walked me about halfway home already," she pointed out. It had been easier to just park her vehicle in front of her apartment building and walk over, since it wasn't too far and it was a nice walk. She missed this. These moments with her sister. Alex was certain that she'd not fully appreciated how much she absolutely loved and needed these sister moments with Kara.

"I figured that I might convince you to a couple of episodes," Kara admitted. "It will be faster for _me_ to get home than for you to get home."

It was a valid point.

"Okay, your plan is well crafted."

* * *

They'd watched more than a couple of episodes. Alex had actually started to fall asleep by the time they finally agreed it was time to finish watching 'Killjoys' another day. That many episodes was really too much for one evening, especially one that hadn't started off early and at home with the sole focus of binge watching the entire first season. It was good, but Alex preferred to be awake and conscious while watching it so that she didn't miss any of the good parts and there were a lot of good parts in 'Killjoys'.

Kara had already left and Alex was glad that she'd already changed into pajamas. It made things a lot easier. She crawled into bed and found that Lucas had texted her a few times while she'd had her phone on the charger in her bedroom. She realized then that the ringer volume was low and adjusted it back up to normal before sitting on the edge of her bed. She smiled at the messages. He was going on about how he had hoped that they had enjoyed dinner and that he hoped that she was having fun. He asked what they'd ordered and their thoughts on it and if they'd done anything afterwards (and then had later assumed since she hadn't texted back that that had to be the case).

Even though it was late, she texted him back, a bright smile on her face the entire time. Alex took the time and texted him about what they'd ordered and how she hadn't expected to get what she got, that the menu description was very misleading but how it had been surprisingly good nonetheless. That they'd been so full that Kara had actually been extremely disappointed that they didn't have room to eat dessert there.

Crawling into bed, she pulled the covers up to keep her warm and rolled onto her side and stared at the phone. It was silly, it was late. He was likely sleeping. She just liked to wait a couple of minutes to officially call it a night because sometimes...just sometimes he was still up this late.

 **Lucas Lewis:** When I finally get to meet Kara, we'll have to make sure it's nowhere too filling so we have room for dessert.

 **Alex Danvers:** You should be sleeping. I hope I didn't wake you.

 **Lucas Lewis:** I was just getting ready to get into bed. I got everything ready for tomorrow, so that's what counts. I'll just have an extra cup of coffee before court in the morning. I'm glad that you two had a good time. Time for both of us to sleep. Goodnight, Beautiful.

 **Alex Danvers:** Goodnight, Handsome.

It was silly, but every time he texted and referred to her as 'Beautiful' it made her blush. Setting her phone on her bedside table, Alex reached out and turned off the bedside lamp before fully settling into bed. She couldn't stop smiling, thinking about Lucas...and as she lay there she thought that maybe she'd even dream of him. Closing her eyes, she thought about their last date and fell asleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

Her alarm went off and then her text alert. Smiling, Alex knew exactly who it was. Grabbing her phone, she stared at her screen and read the lovely good morning text from Lucas. She got out of bed, texting him back to see how much time he had before he had to be in court in case they could meet for coffee first. She immediately set off to get ready in case the answer was that he had time. Alex knew exactly how quickly she could get ready and out the door in the morning if she was motivated and on a time constraint.

Fifteen minutes later, she was going out the door with wet hair after seeing that Lucas had texted back that he'd meet her at Noonan's. Today, she'd even been smart about her clothing choices and had stuck to black since she'd just go into the DEO early after finishing coffee with Lucas unless Kara was around. Normally, she took her time getting up in the morning and getting ready, but it was going to be well worth it to rush the morning in order to see Lucas.

* * *

"You remembered."

"Of course, I remembered," Lucas told Alex after watching her sip her coffee. He'd made sure that the coffees were ready when she arrived and had bought a couple of danishes before grabbing a table. He didn't have much time, but Alex was honestly just happy to spend any time with him.

"So, I was thinking maybe we could do dinner at my place with Kara on the weekend, if our schedules all allow for it?" Alex proposed.

"I told you, I'd love to meet your sister," Lucas said with a bright smile. "She has to be a saint to work for Cat Grant everyday."

"She's definitely something special."

"Alex?" James Olsen's voice definitely caught her attention and she turned to look over her shoulder. It seemed that once he'd realized it was her, he headed towards where they were sitting. "I thought it was you. Wow, Kara's not going to be happy that she's not the one picking up the coffee today."

"Why? What's up?"

"Cat needed her in first thing, I got the text before my alarm even went off asking if I'd bring coffee for her and Cat," James explained. "But I had heard something about how you have a mysterious boyfriend." He seemed to smile brighter. James Olsen was _always_ smiling. "You must be the mystery man," he said as he extended a hand. "I'm James Olsen. I work with Alex's sister."

Lucas immediately got to his feet, reached out to meet James' offered hand, and shook in return. "Lucas Lewis, it's good to meet you."

Alex looked over at him just in time to see him glancing down at his watch. With a sigh, she asked the question she already knew the answer to. "Have to go?"

"Sorry, I wish it could have been longer. I want to get to court early, make sure everything is in place for my cases today," Lucas said before getting up. He leaned down and quickly kissed Alex before grabbing his briefcase and coffee. "It was nice meeting you, James."

"You too," James said before taking the now empty seat across Alex. He waited until Alex turned back, after watching Lucas go. "So, should I not mention this to Kara?"

Alex knew that her sister would not be pleased that James Olsen had met Lucas before she had, but Alex really hadn't had any control over that. "We shouldn't be keeping secrets," Alex said. She'd learned over the last few days to keep big secrets from Kara and she knew from experience that it just ate her up on the inside and she just felt so guilty. "Though, she's definitely not going to be pleased."

"Oh no, definitely not," James replied with a smirk. "Especially with how it sounds like her morning with Cat is already going."

"Olsen," they called from the counter.

"He seems like a good guy and you look really happy," James told her. "I'm really happy for you, Alex. You deserve it."

"Thanks. Now, if Kara was just as happy as I am," Alex commented and then took a sip of her coffee as she eyed James a moment, who suddenly looked confused and caught off guard. "Don't let the coffee get cold," she reminded.

"Right," he said as he got to his feet. "Well, it was good seeing you and meeting Lucas. See you later."

"Tell Kara I'll text her once I get to work."

"I can do that."

* * *

 **Kara Danvers:** James got to meet Lucas before me?

The text had come through before Alex had even arrived at the DEO. Alex had just let out a sigh and hadn't responded when she saw it come through. When James had appeared at Noonan's, Alex had known that Kara was not going to be happy, she'd feel like she was going to be the last to meet him. Really, though, her mother would be the last one to meet him.

"Agent Danvers."

Or maybe J'onn.

Her boss had become increasingly protective of her over the past few months, though Alex didn't know if that was just something that she was more conscious on her part since J'onn had admitted to who he was and had told her that he'd promised her father. Whatever the reason, the thought of him meeting Lucas was a bit terrifying. J'onn could be so tough, gruff, and protective while Lucas was so kind, loving, and just so perfect. It wasn't that J'onn wasn't kind or loving, they were just different personalities, different personalities that both cared about her. She just wasn't sure if she would see a clash or a general acknowledgement of the other in her life. It was definitely a concern.

On the other hand, her mother might just be happy that she was in a relationship with something other than her job. That, though, likely would lead to the 'so, when can I expect grandchildren?' conversation. Alex was fairly sure that even though she was only twenty-five, her mother was already skipping the marriage pressuring for grandchildren. Sadly, she didn't think she could sluff off that pressure onto Kara. They were both too young as far as Alex was concerned, they had all kinds of time for that...later...when they were both ready for it (whenever 'ready' was for them).

"Sir," Alex greeted back as she turned and smiled at him. She tucked her phone away, telling herself that she'd text Kara back in a while when she had a quiet moment.

"You look happy."

"So, you've previously observed," she shot back gently with a smile. Alex could feel blush rising her in face and then she noticed that he actually looked quite happy. Perhaps it was contagious? Smiling at the DEO, it really wasn't the most horrific thing to see or think of. It was kind of nice. "What's on the agenda today?"

"I was hoping for a quiet day."

"Are there really such things, Sir?"

J'onn shook his head. "Mythic, aren't they?"

Her phone vibrated in her pocket again, her hand immediately went down to cover the pocket that it was buzzing in. She made a face, knowing exactly who it was. Kara was likely wanting to ask more questions and Alex knew she was having a day already with Cat Grant, but Alex also had to work.

"What's wrong?"

"Kara," Alex supplied without thinking about it. "She's upset because James Olsen just accidentally met Lucas-"

" _Lucas_ , is he the one who's responsible for the smile on your face the last several days?" J'onn asked and seemed generally curious, not pushing for information.

Crap.

She'd been trying to wait to give out information. She was trying to be slow about the relationship. Alex felt like their affections had come on quick and heavy and that was just too much for her life and Lucas had been so wonderful. He hadn't wanted to pressure and they'd both said at nearly the same moment that it was too much too fast even though it was just all feelings. Neither one of them had wanted to race into it.

It was silly, though, if J'onn _really_ wanted to know, to dig for the information or have her followed, he could find out easily she was sure. He really didn't need to go to all of those lengths though. Alex knew that like with Kara, he deserved to know what was going on in her life outside of the DEO. He was family and deserved to know just as much as others in her family needed the information (well, except her mother, she was still going to hold off on that conversation).

"His name is Lucas Lewis," Alex said slowly and they started down a corridor. "He's a lawyer, he does pro bono cases mostly for women and children who victims of abuse and violence. He works with people out of one of the centers downtown."

"And he makes you smile."

"And he makes me smile," Alex confirmed.

"Why hasn't Kara met him yet?"

"It's only been about a week. I mean, it seems fast. Right?"

J'onn shrugged at that. "No one on this planet seems to have a timetable as far as romantic relationships go." He was quiet for a long moment. "It's been quite a few dates in this short amount of time."

"I really like him."

"Kara's your sister, you two are close...closer now, she wants you to be happy, Alex. I'm sure she just wants to join in on knowing more about this piece of your life that makes you happy that you're keeping hidden from her," J'onn brought up. "Think about how much easier it was once she knew you were DEO."

"You mean after the awkward parts? And then all the parts where I was pretty mean to her?" Alex questioned with a lifted eyebrow. She knew what he meant though. He was right. "I know. Kara brought up that we should have a game night with Winn and James, but I think that's a lot."

"Some might call that the _true test,_ " he told her with a smile.

"No, the _true test_ would be Kara, Winn, James, _my mom, and you_ ," Alex pointed out. "Just throw him in and see if he can swim without me right at his side."

"I don't think that your mom would appreciate me being there."

"That's just because she doesn't know-"

"And she isn't going to know," he reminded gently.

Alex made a face at him. "It's just-"

"Not _everyone_ in your life can get along swimmingly, Alex."

"It would be _nice_ ," she told him hopefully with a smile."

"It would be."

She went quiet for a long while as they continued to walk. Alex had realized a few steps back that they were heading for his office. She hadn't cared because walking meant that less people would overhear their conversation. Her love life didn't need to be the talk of the DEO watercooler.

"I just think that my mother would rest easier with Kara and I working at the DEO if she knew, if she knew that my dad died protecting someone, protecting what _he believed in_ ," Alex told him quietly and gently. "They didn't tell her _anything_. All she knows is that he died on some mission with the DEO and that Hank Henshaw was with him. They told her he died in a plane crash."

J'onn seemed to not be pleased with her point. Alex wasn't saying to bring her mother in on this. All she wanted to do was to give her mother some peace of mind. For her mother to rest knowing that Jeremiah Danvers hadn't died because of some botched operation, that he had died saving someone (her mother didn't need to know that it was J'onn J'onzz or that he was actually masquerading as Hank Henshaw).

"Just please think about it," she requested gently.

His look was stern and serious. J'onn let out a sigh and motioned for her to close the door behind her. "I will," he said finally before taking a seat. "I don't know how we sidelined the conversation from how happy you are with Mr. Lewis to this-this much more tragic conversation."

"My dad was a good man."

"You know that I know that, more than so many."

Alex was quiet for a long while and their conversations just seemed to sink in. "I do want you to meet him, Lucas, I mean," Alex said slowly. "If you want, just not yet…"

"I'd be happy to meet him, whenever you are ready," J'onn responded with a small smile. "As long as Kara's already met him."

"Yeah, we might need to step that up now."

"Just for sanity's sake."

"Yeah," Alex said. " _Mine_."

* * *

TBC…


	2. Nerves

**Author's Note:** I always forget to put author's notes on here. So, I'm trying to be good and remembering today! Please, please...if you enjoy my stories and have a Tumblr account or just STALK Tumblr accounts (we don't judge!), please keep an eye on mine. I'm shannyfishwriter on Tumblr. I will post updates, sneak peeks, and extras for stories. So, like for this story...there's going to be a picture of who I use (because I'm visual) for Lucas when I was writing this. I also try to post the links to my Tumblr when I do sneak peeks and stuff (if I remember) onto Twitter (shannyfish). Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and awesome!

* * *

The day hadn't been as quiet as J'onn had hoped for, though that had made the hours pass faster. It also made it a bit more disappointing when she was on her way home and found out that Lucas was once again working late.

 **Lucas Lewis:** I really wanted to make up dinner, but I really need to finish working on this case tonight. If you knew the details, you'd understand.

 **Alex Danvers:** It's important. I know that. I don't need to know the details. You say that it's important and you need to do it, then I believe you.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Maybe coffee again in the morning?

 **Alex Danvers:** Kara might actually stalk Noonan's just to be able to meet you.

 **Lucas Lewis:** I wouldn't mind that. What you are doing tonight? Please don't tell me that you're going to just stay home alone.

 **Alex Danvers:** It's not so bad. Sometimes it's nice to have a quiet night.

 **Lucas Lewis:** No Kara over?

 **Alex Danvers:** Kara was asking me if I'd join her and her friends for game night, but I don't know.

 **Lucas Lewis:** That sounds fun.

 **Alex Danvers:** Maybe.

* * *

"We should do this more often," Kara said brightly.

Alex wasn't sure how often they really could with planning. Kara had invited James, Winn, and Lucy. Well, Alex was fairly sure that Lucy Lane was mainly there because of James Olsen. It was also a little more tense with Lucy there, not just because her sister and James _clearly_ had feelings for each other...but because Lucy was the only one present that didn't know that Kara was Supergirl.

"Aren't you having fun?" her sister asked as she sat down on the couch next to her.

It wasn't that she wasn't having fun, it was just different than she'd intended on planning her evening. She'd been all set for a frozen meal and then pajamas, but Kara had made a sad puppy face and Alex had given in. There was just no way of saying 'no' to her when she was determined. "I'm having fun, it's just-"

"You wish you were out with Lucas?"

Instead of responding to that question because Alex knew that there could be pouting or a twinge of jealousy, she just stared at Kara. It wasn't that she didn't love and adore her sister, she did, but Lucas had become this aspect of her life that she'd not expected and was still getting used to. It was like they'd described love in books and movies, where she missed him when they weren't together and she'd honestly be content just grocery shopping with him. Love just wasn't something she'd expected, not now...but she couldn't turn away from it.

"It's not that," Alex corrected. "I just wasn't expecting to be dragged out…"

"Oh, there's going to be games!" Kara said far too enthusiastic for Alex's current mood.

Alex just groaned in response. She had wanted to be excited, but she just couldn't bring herself to be. "I don't know how after an entire day of being Cat Grant's assistant that you can still be _this_ cheery."

"It's like a superpower," Lucy teased. "Come on, Alex, think of this like a girls' night."

"But we're here…" Winn said slowly and confused as he motioned between him and James.

Alex smiled a little at that. Winn seemed super confused now and James just seemed amused. "Kara and I normally don't have games during our girls' nights."

"It's also usually just the two of us," Kara pointed out as she returned to set out snacks. "And involves dinner and ice cream and binge watching television."

"Please tell me that pajamas are involved and that you'll invite me next time," Lucy seemed to perk at Kara's description of their normal nights together.

The thing was, it wasn't just girls' night for them, but their sisters time. There was also the fact that Kara sometimes left during pizza to go save someone and returned in costume to watch the show. That wasn't exactly something that they could share with Lucy. Alex had no idea how Lucy would respond to knowing Kara's secret, but there were a lot of ways it could go sideways and none of them needed that.

"Okay, so for the game...aren't we going to have to have someone sit out?" Winn brought up.

"I volunteer," Alex said quickly raising a hand and from the look on Kara's disapproving face, she'd said that too loud, too quickly, and too eagerly.

Before Kara could comment, though, there was a knock at the door and they all exchanged looks. "I wasn't expecting anyone else…"

"Pizza?" Alex tried.

"No, we have Chinese."

"Pizza?" Alex tried again with a smile.

Kara just smiled and shook her head at her sister before getting up and heading for the door. Alex just figured that it was likely a delivery or something else that Kara just hadn't realized was arriving today. So, she focused on her beer and the conversation that James and Lucy were having. Kara had been right, Alex had realized it the more time she'd spent with this version of Lucy Lane (the non-military version), she was a good person...kind...and funny.

"I don't understand," Kara said. "How did you _know_ what kind of ice cream I like and _why_ are you bringing me ice cream?"

This brought Alex's attention to the door behind her and she turned to see someone unexpected standing at the door. "Lucas?"

"Lucas?" her sister echoed. It was like Kara's confusion suddenly lifted and she was suddenly ushering in Lucas.

"What are you doing here?" Alex questioned. "And how did you know where Kara's apartment was?" It was a little creepy since Alex hadn't told him where Kara's apartment was and he'd never been there before. It was a red flag and her mind suddenly went through all the ways that someone could locate-

"I finished my work early and I might have been a little stalker-ish and looked up your sister's address," Lucas said. He held up a bag that was obviously filled with various pints of ice cream. "I think I might have covered my bases...and was hoping that you wouldn't mind me crashing?"

"No, no, come in!" James said and was on his feet too.

Alex was still in shock and wasn't sure how she felt about all of this. James had already met Lucas, but she'd planned on him just meeting with Kara next. This was quite unexpected, especially since he had been the one to initiate things.

"I just," Lucas went on as he was pulled further into the apartment. "Alex has talked so much about Kara and-"

"And you work _a lot_ ," Lucy completed. "I was just reading an article about your work here in National City. You've been doing a lot of good."

"I'm trying," Lucas said and was shaking Lucy's hand. "Lucy Lane. I've read a lot about _you_."

"Is there like a lawyer wiki?" Winn questioned. He was definitely asking the question that they all seemed to have.

"No," Lucas responded with a short laugh. "But there are quite a few prestigious magazines and blogs that spotlight different types of lawyers. I do a lot of reading."

"We've got an even number of people," James announced. "Games!" He pointed to her and Alex blinked, waiting for why this was happening. "And no arguing. We'll even let Lucas be on your team."

"Don't you like games?" Lucas asked her as he sat on the arm of the chair she'd been sitting in.

Alex started to defend herself. "I do, it's just-"

"She just didn't expect for us to have an uneven amount of players," Kara covered as she went to retrieve games. "But now you're here and we're good, right, Alex?"

Alex looked over and smiled at her sister. God, she loved Kara. They might tease each other, but she wasn't going to make her look bad in front of Lucas and she appreciated that. "Right."

Lucas grinned at her. "I hope there's charades."

* * *

"That was fun."

"Thank you," Alex said with a smile.

"For what?"

"For weathering that."

"I crashed it, remember?"

Alex was actually quite impressed with Lucas and his ability to not only find out where Kara lived (which was still slightly creepy), but also coming prepared was a plus (and obviously he'd been listening to her ramble on). He had also _survived_ the evening with everyone. He had even seemed to enjoy it and everyone had gotten along.

"How about I take you home?" Lucas offered. He raised their joined hands and kissed the top of hers.

"I brought my vehicle," Alex pointed out.

"Or, maybe you could drive me home?" Lucas suggested. "And we can talk about plans for tomorrow?"

"You don't have work?"

"Do you?"

Alex just looked at him with a smile.

"They've got to give you time off here and there."

"Yeah, like you?"

Lucas just smiled at her. "Come over and just spend the night? We can watch movies until you fall asleep and I'll make you breakfast and coffee before work tomorrow," he offered.

Alex stopped in her tracks. "Lucas-"

"Look, it's fine if you don't want to," he said as he stopped and squeezed her hand. "I know things have been going fast...I just miss you and I wanted us to have some time together tonight. Just sleeping...not anything else," Lucas put out there. "I promise on my life, Alex, I just want to be close to you and if it's too much and too fast, then I understand."

Normally, Alex would say no, but there was just something about Lucas. There was this connection between them and she had always found him someone that she could trust (which was confusing because that wasn't something normal for her). The last person she'd felt that way about was J'onn when he'd recruited her for the DEO.

"Okay," Alex found herself agreeing.

They were both grown adults and in all honesty, Alex could probably easily take him down if he crossed a line. Alex knew how to take care of herself, but she didn't think that that was going to be needed in this situation. Lucas was sweet and kind and-well, Alex just felt like she had a good feel for who a person was and she was certain that Lucas was a good person.

"Okay?"

He seemed surprised. Alex just tugged him along with a smile on her face. "Unless you're taking back your offer?"

"No," Lucas said quickly. "No. Don't we need to stop by your place for clothes or-"

"I have a bag in my car actually," Alex told him. She always had a 'go bag', just in case. You never knew when you were going to need to just grab it and go or when the world was going to go to hell. She pulled out her keys as they neared her vehicle and squeezed his hand. "Last chance to change your mind."

"That's the last thing I'd want to do."

"Good."

* * *

Lucas' apartment was in an okay area and the interior looked better than the exterior. The inside actually reminded Alex a lot of a historical building and it matched nothing of the actual exterior or the time period of the place. No, this...this felt like a piece of time kept in a bottle. "I'll admit, I didn't expect this," Alex told him as she dropped her bag onto the nearby chair. "It's beautiful."

"Thanks," Lucas said with a light laugh. "I guess I don't think of it as that great...it was something to do. Something to build here."

"You did all of this?" she asked as she moved to better appreciate all of the small details.

"I enjoy a lot of things outside of the justice system," Lucas told her. "Wood carving...the Victorian era…"

"The entire era?" Alex questioned with a smile. "Not just the interior decorating aspect?" No matter what his answer was, she was impressed. He was so dedicated to his work and this just showed her how disciplined he was as well. It would only take someone with discipline to be able to do all of that work, especially the detail work.

"Oh I attend Victorian events fully costumed as well," Lucas said. "I think that's either a deal breaker or a plus for most people. It always seems very black and white."

"Seriously? Costumed?"

"Didn't you ever enjoy Halloween?"

"When I was like five."

"No Renaissance faire?"

"No," Alex said with a laugh and a quick shaking of her head.

"Deal breaker?" he asked as he moved towards her. His arm snaked around her waist and she met his lips before he could initiate the kiss.

Alex wasn't kissing to silence him, no she was kissing him because it had seemed like too long since she'd kissed him and she was imagining him all dressed up. She supposed that even though he didn't watch 'Doctor Who' or pretty much anything that Alex had ever seen, this was his geek side and she felt that that just made him that more sexy. Her hands moved from his wrists and moved up his arms until they melted around his shoulders.

When the kiss broke, Lucas just grinned at her. "I'm thinking that might be a 'no'?"

"I might have to see you dressed before I make my official decision," Alex teased. He kissed her and she immediately returned it. She pulled away and couldn't stop smiling. "You promised me things…"

"I did."

She'd noticed that he had a TV, but there was only a DVD player no cable box. Alex had spotted the router and figured that they'd have to go via the Netflix route, but she was okay with that. That would just give them a wider variety of possibilities. "What are you in the mood to watch?"

"I told you I really don't watch TV...I only have one for work purposes," Lucas explained with a smile. "Something with a happy ending."

"Romance? Drama? Action? Horror? End of the world?"

"How about something light?" he suggested. "No horror or end of the world...don't we get enough of that with the news everyday?"

""Pride and Prejudice'?" Alex came up with off the top of her head. She smiled when he laughed at that. She pulled him towards the couch. "Just so you know, though, if I even ever entertain going to some costumed event with you...it will certainly not be in one of those dresses…"

"Maybe we'll stick to Steampunk for you," Lucas told her. She must have looked confused, because he spoke up a moment later. "I'll explain it...but it involves a larger of selection of outfit choices for women."

"As long as pants are one of those choices."

He laughed and handed her the remote as Alex sat down on the couch. "I'm going to go grab a blanket...the heat doesn't work and there's not enough insulation in this building."

"I'd ask you why you don't move, but I think it would be hard to move all of this," Alex said as she looked around.

"This has been home for too long," Lucas told her with a smile and a shrug. "It's really not that bad. You get used to it."

She turned on the TV and DVD player and clicked on the Netflix app before moving to grab her bag. Alex was still carrying her weapon and she wanted to stash it in the bag, but keep the bag close. So that's what she did. She moved it so that it was next to the couch, but tucked under a side table. Her gun was stowed away and she started to take off her boots. It was then that she realized that Lucas didn't even have a Netflix account. Sighing and shaking her head, he really wasn't keeping up with anything. She put in the information for the account she and Kara shared.

When Lucas re-emerged, he was carrying a blanket and had changed into flannel pajama pants and a red t-shirt. "I had to change...all day in a suit and the shoes, it's too much. I'm sure i have something you could wear if you wanted?" he offered as he set the blanket down.

"Thanks," Alex said with a smile. "But I'm okay right now."

"But you'll let me know if you change your mind?" Lucas asked as he sat down next to her.

"I will," she assured. Her 'go bag' had more DEO type clothing. There was a set of black clothing plus a pair of jeans. Pajamas hadn't been on her mind when she'd assembled the bag, after all, she had a set of clothes and pajamas at Kara's (which had been the only other place besides her apartment where she'd need such things). "I promise," she said as she reached across and took his hand. She turned her attention back to the TV and searched up the movie they wanted and started it.

They started on opposite sides of the couch, holding hands and by the end were together. Alex was sitting up, she was on alert and though she knew it wasn't necessary she couldn't shake it. It was something that had been drilled into her. Lucas was laying across the couch with his head in her lap, she was running her fingers through his dark hair. There was something so simple and comforting in it all. By the time the movie ended, Alex was barely keeping her eyes open.

"Thank you," Lucas said.

Alex just smiled down at him. "For what?"

"For watching this movie with me…"

"It's a classic."

"It doesn't seem like it's normally something you'd watch," he pointed out as he stared at her. His hand came up and he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.

Shrugging, she brushed it off. "It's nice to watch something different once in awhile."

"It is."

"It's late," Alex told him. "And we should sleep."

"How do you want to do this?" he asked.

Alex liked that he was so concerned about not going too far and giving her so many outs, but sometimes she liked to be the one to be surprised at what was going to come next. This, though, she really appreciated but she wasn't sure. Things were so clear to her, but at the same time...it felt fast. They'd already talked about how this was only sleeping, but she was still nervous. "We're both adults," she stated with a nod. "And maybe I would take pajamas now…"

"I don't know that my pants will fit you," he told her with a smile. "But you can pick whatever you want," Lucas told her and sat up. Getting to his feet, he held out his hand to her. Alex took it and got to her feet. She grabbed her bag and then let Lucas lead her to the bedroom.

* * *

Alex had changed in the bathroom into one of his navy blue t-shirts and kept pushing out a heavy breath. It had been a long time since she'd been so nervous. She ran her fingers through her short hair as she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. For the last two years, the DEO had been everything (besides Kara) in her life. There had been no time for boyfriends or serious relationships. And now this...it was feeling so real and had come on so fast...and Alex was afraid of where it was going. Could she do that?

She worked for the DEO.

She chased after alien threats.

Her sister was Supergirl.

Her boss was a Green Martian.

All of those secrets. She didn't know if she could be in a relationship with someone who couldn't know that part of her life. Lying was so hard, it wasn't keeping up the lie, but rather the toll it took on the heart.

There was a quiet knock. "Alex? You okay?"

She looked down at her watch that she'd set on top of her phone, which was perched on the edge of the sink. She'd been in there for nearly fifteen minutes. No wonder he was worried about her. Alex grabbed her things and turned to the door. She opened it and found him waiting on the other side.

"You okay?"

"I just...I'm tired…" she said as she moved past him.

"You know you can talk to me."

She knew that.

Something she just couldn't share with him, though.

"There are some things in my life that I can't tell you," Alex whispered as she set her things down and then turned to him. "I don't like having to keep secrets."

"I have to keep secrets, too," he reminded as he moved towards her. "And I know that things have been going fast between us...or at least that's how they feel for me."

Emotions between them had unfurled quickly and not gradually. That was one of the reasons that Alex was so worried. Was she getting ahead of herself? "I just-"

"Don't want your heart broken?" he asked as he ran his hand along her arm.

Alex looked up at him. "And I don't want to break yours…" She knew that he'd been through so much and he'd lost a family. Alex didn't want to be that for him and then pull away or to die (that was always a possibility with her line of work). She ran her hand down his arm as well, looking down now.

He pressed a kiss into her hair. "Let's just go to bed, Alex. It's late." When she looked up at him, she could see love there, not anything else. She was falling so hard for him and no matter how she tried to put on the breaks, her brain wouldn't allow her to keep from free falling. "And let's agree to just keep talking and to try to keep from breaking hearts."

"Okay," she whispered.

They crawled into his bed and Alex was glad that the bed was thick with blankets because standing there in the bedroom with just panties and his shirt had shown her exactly how cold it got in his apartment. She took a moment to adjust pillows and make herself comfortable before scooting closer to Lucas, pressing against him for heat.

"Goodnight, Alex."

"Goodnight, Lucas," she whispered and pulled in a deep breath as his arms wrapped around her. It took her a little while, but eventually she relaxed enough to fall asleep.

* * *

TBC…


	3. Interference

**Author's Notes:** So, I wrote the second half in between and during migraine episodes. I tried to re-read, but sometimes my brain auto-corrects. I kept using words that would sound similar to what I meant (like appeared instead of approached), but had a completely different meaning. I thought I caught myself or the watchful eye of HerRenegadeHeart looking over at my screen while I tried to write...but you have been warned.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter (shannyfish) and especially Tumblr (shannyfishwriter) where I put updates, sneak peeks, and extras. If you haven't seen the photo I'm using as who I would cast as Lucas Lewis, it's on there. I've also been posting some info about what music I've been listening to while I've been writing, I know sometimes that's just fun. Also, I'm doing this story for Camp NaNoWriMo, so I should be updating this one the most this month.

Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing! :D I do try to always reply if you leave a signed-in review (with your PM option open), so please make sure you do that! Thank you again and enjoy!

* * *

"What?"

"I didn't say anything."

"You haven't said anything since we left the DEO. It's been a long and quiet drive."

"I was going to go with peaceful."

"You're never this quiet, no matter the mission," Alex pointed out.

J'onn looked over at her. "Do you have a specific topic that you wanted to discuss?"

Alex just stared at him for a moment before he put his attention back on the road in front of them. "No…" She just stared at him, squinted, and then it hit her. "Did you talk to Kara?"

"I talk to your sister nearly as often as I talk to you."

Alex glared at him. "She told you that Lucas showed up…"

"She might have mentioned it."

"Uh huh…"

"She might have also mentioned that he showed up at her apartment, but didn't have the address?"

"Kara's in the white pages."

"That's true-"

"Red flags came up for me, too, but I swear he's a _good guy._ "

"I did see that."

It took a moment for Alex to catch onto that sentence. "Wha-wait, did you background check him?"

"Only enough as to not raise flags in the system," J'onn confessed. When he looked over, he threw up a hand. "In my defense, I'm only looking out for you-"

"You've like passed overprotective mode."

"Have I?"

Okay, maybe not.

"Is this getting around to the fact that you need to meet him, too?" Alex questioned.

"No. I just...I'm glad that you've found someone that makes you happy," J'onn told her sincerely. "And I hope that you know that you can talk to me."

It had been quite a while since Alex had been able to talk to a father figure about boys and even then, she hadn't wanted to really get into any of the details of boys with her father (or either of her parents for that matter). She knew that J'onn meant well, but it was still weird to her. "I know," she said quietly with a smile. "It's just weird… I'm not used to really talking to anyone except Kara about-"

"Feelings?"

"Or guys," Alex said with a shrug.

"I suppose that's what sisters are for."

Before Alex could say anything more, they were slamming to a quick stop and the entire convoy was piling out of their respective vehicles. They were looking for a group of aliens. There'd been reports of what sounded like a few Amblers, which was odd since they didn't travel in packs and were normally loners. One of the others that had been described, they couldn't quite figure out what it was, so they'd come prepared to deal with anything.

"Keep your eyes open!" J'onn shouted to the troops.

Alex stuck close to him as they first surveyed the area. They'd even brought in a couple of trailers to transport Amblers with, if they located them. It was a tedious task because they were so slow, but honestly they were likely the easiest alien to apprehend. "We need light," Alex commented. They were out in the desert and they had on night vision, but it just didn't seem like enough. They'd brought vehicles with auxiliary lights, so it seemed like maybe they should just use them.

She could tell that he wasn't thrilled about this. They'd been out there and none of the agents they'd brought had reported in that they'd found anything. They'd gone out there expecting to go back with quite a few aliens, but so far they were coming up with nothing. Alex honestly wasn't thrilled about this. She'd been on her way out the door to get ready to meet up with Lucas when the call had come in (J'onn had told her to go, but she just hadn't been able to in good mind do that). Alex knew that she'd just sit around during the entire dinner and obsessively check for an update. So, instead she'd texted Lucas and told him that they were going to have to modify their plans as she needed to work later (with later not specifically defined).

"Light it up," J'onn instructed.

Alex moved to the vehicle they'd come in and turned on all of the lights the vehicle was capable of. The area of them was lit up fairly well with the number of vehicles and lights they had. As she got out, she looked around again. It was then that she noticed it. "Ambler," she called as she stood on the running board of the SUV as she held onto the door for support. Alex's hand extended in the direction, pointing out the pale rather tall creature. It was just there, not really doing anything. It was at the edge of the light provided, which is probably why they hadn't seen it before.

Getting down from the vehicle, she moved with the other agents towards it.

One moment, Alex was moving her way towards the Ambler, Agent Adler not more than four feet to her right and then the next Agent Adler wasn't there. A blink later, Alex was flying backwards and found her back hitting the front of one of the vehicles before she fell to the ground. Adler was helping her to her feet before she could even see what had hit her.

"What the hell was that?" Adler questioned.

Alex sucked in a breath and then pushed one out, trying to distract herself from the pain she was feeling. "I have no idea. I didn't see anything."

"Neither did I."

They didn't move and just looked around.

"What happened?" J'onn called.

"Something knocked us back," Adler shouted. "But we didn't see anything."

"Stay sharp! There's something else out here!" J'onn informed the group.

Alex could see in the distance that they were already starting to lure the Ambler in the general direction of the trailer they had already open and ready. Whatever had hit them, it hadn't been an Ambler, that was for certain. They would have seen it and Amblers only got violent when they were spooked. Their version of violence tended to be slashing and not just knocking people back. No, this was definitely something different.

Adler sighed. "This isn't exactly how I expected my evening to go," she confessed as she held her weapon at the ready.

Smirking, Alex tilted her head slightly to the side. She was ready with her weapon as well. "Me either. I actually had a date."

"Nice," Adler commented. "Lara and I were going to go see the new 'Star Wars' movie at the dollar theater...because the first six times wasn't enough."

Alex shrugged. "If my date ends up being called off, Kara and I might join you...if you don't mind crashers."

"Did you hear that?" Adler whispered.

It had been a crunch.

She'd barely even heard it.

The problem was, Alex didn't see anything. It sounded like it was right in front of them, but all they could see were the other agents and the Ambler that they were moving. The crunch sound had been much too close to be any of that. She reached out, her hand touching Adler's shoulder. "I heard it," Alex responded just as quietly and on guard. She could see J'onn moving towards them, but her focus was on their surroundings.

A gush of wind carried sand towards the vehicle near them, Alex followed it. Watching for anything that might tell her what was going on. The wind wasn't helping imprints that they could follow.

"Danvers," Adler whispered. "Indominus Rex."

Alex's eye caught what Adler had spotted. The sand was catching on something, but it wasn't the vehicle, in fact it seemed to be stopping and sticking to something in front of the vehicle. Now, at least they knew where the aim. "That's not going to help us once it moves," Alex whispered. It started to move, Alex set off shots and kicked up sand as she motioned for Adler to move back. They needed to tag this alien...whatever it was.

They kept it up, the creature following them and would yelp every time they actually hit the darn thing. Alex pulled open the back of the SUV and immediately grabbed what she knew they needed before using it on the beast. Soon, she was covering the entire thing, propelling the extinguisher's white contents onto it. It was enough that they could see the shape and see where it was.

The Ambler was not yet contained, but most of the team that they'd brought with them quickly switched gears in order to assist Alex and Adler with the new hostile. It was obviously not going down with a fight.

* * *

"You sure you're going to be okay?" Adler questioned as they both headed out of med bay together. Once they'd located the invisible alien, things had gone a lot quicker. "Also, you and Kara are definitely still invited if you want to come and share in the glory of the Force with us."

Alex grinned. "Thanks, but I still have a standing dinner date." She shrugged. "You and Lara enjoy though." She'd texted Lucas since she was over two hours late for their date and he still insisted on them trying to make their date. So, Alex had agreed to him picking up dinner and meeting at her apartment.

"The ice pack is a nice touch," Adler teased as she motioned to Alex's arm before dashing off.

Sighing, Alex shook her head. She needed the damn thing. The doctor had said something about how she was lucky she hadn't broken or fractured anything, she'd pretty much tuned him out when she'd felt like he was lecturing. It wasn't like she'd expected being stalked and attacked by an invisible alien creature. So, the ice pack was going to stay taped to Alex's arm. It was supposed to be twenty minutes on and twenty minutes off, but Alex was going to leave the damn thing on until she got home and just hoped that it felt better by then.

Pulling out her cell phone, she started to head towards the exit...again. This time, Alex was going to make it. If there was some kind of prison cell break, she didn't care...everyone else could handle it. Alex was determined to get home, Lucas was going to meet her there and she didn't want to make him wait any longer than he already had.

"You okay?"

She looked up from her phone, she'd just been texting Kara to let her know that she was okay and heading home for the night, and then came to a stop when she found J'onn standing there with arms crossed. Alex hadn't gone to tell him she was off, but she was so done with being at work, she'd just wanted to go. "Yeah, I'll heal…"

"Walk you out?"

Alex just smiled and gave him a nod before slipping her cell phone into her pocket.

"You and Adler did really great work out there tonight, I appreciate you both sticking around."

"We basically got tossed back, chatted, and then figured it out," Alex said. It really didn't feel like they did all that much. "Did they ever find any other Amblers? Anything else out there?"

"No."

"Weird."

"Vasquez is trying to run down the call, see if we can find out who tipped us off in the first place," J'onn said. "We already know it's not like Amblers to herd...and it's definitely not like them to move away from a location quickly...and we searched even after you came back. We didn't see anything."

"Well, I'll be in tomorrow."

"Come in late."

She looked at him. "You sure?"

"You stayed late," J'onn pointed out. "You were supposed to go out with Lucas, weren't you?"

"He's going to pick up dinner right now," Alex told him. J'onn was telepathic or something like that anyways, so there was really no use lying to him. Plus, she really didn't _want_ to lie to him. It was just still a little new to be sharing all of this and especially with J'onn.

"Good man."

Alex smiled at that. "We'll have to figure out a night you can meet him-"

"Alex-"

"No, I want you to meet him," Alex insisted.

"You still haven't told your mother-"

"Okay...we're not going to bring that up or remind Kara of that," Alex told him quickly getting serious as she pointed a finger at him. He just smiled in response. She couldn't help, but smile back. "It's still…"

"New?"

"I didn't expect it."

"To fall in love?"

"Kara pointed out that Maxwell Lord is the last person she considers me going on a date with before Lucas."

"No."

"That's what _I_ told her."

"Enjoy your dinner," J'onn told her as they came to where they were to part, his hand on her arm.

"Thank you," she told him brightly before hurrying towards her vehicle.

* * *

Alex sighed when she found Lucas sitting up against her apartment door with a bag of food in his arms, just staring off into nowhere. "I'm sorry," she said as she thumbed through her keys until she found the right one.

"What happened to your arm?"

"I can't really go into details," Alex admitted.

Lucas was on his feet, arms full with a bag. "Can you at least tell me if you're okay?"

Alex smiled back at him as she turned her key. "I'm fine. It's just going to be bruised...really badly," Alex told him as she turned the knob and pushed open the door. She entered first and flipped on the lights before turning around to look at him. It was weird having him at her home and she was watching him, to see his reaction. "It's not as fancy as yours-"

"No, no it's great," Lucas told her. "Let's be honest...most people don't have my...talents...for woodcarving."

"I also rarely actually spend time here," Alex pointed out as she went through and sort of check her apartment over before Lucas could get farther in. She'd agreed to doing it and actually been the one to suggest it, but she hadn't really thought about if she'd picked up before suggesting it. Lucky for her, it was in pretty good order.

Lucas closed the door. "Are you checking to make sure it's picked up?"

Busted.

Alex turned back to him with a smile. "That obvious?"

"You did mention that you're rarely here, I assume that it's mainly for sleeping and showering." He moved further into the apartment and set the bag down on the nearest counter. Lucas continued moving towards her. "You have had a long day...and you're injured...so why don't you relax and let me take care of you?"

His hands came out and gently rested on her upper arms as he stared at her. Alex was not used to this. She definitely wasn't used to relaxing or being taken care of. She was a grown woman, but she was finding that she wasn't really going to argue with him that night. "Okay," she said. "Just this one time…" She leaned in and kissed him. It was so nice and it was enough that it was already relaxing her. Alex pulled back and just smiled at him. "I'm glad we're still doing this...and I'm still sorry that I had to work later than I thought."

"I'm just glad that you were still willing to put up with me tonight."

"I'm pretty sure you've got that the other way around," Alex teased with a grin before moving the tape and the ice pack from her arm. She cringed, it still hurt. Lucas took the ice pack and helped her remove her jacket slowly and carefully. Alex's short sleeve black shirt showed more than enough of the already dark bruise.

"How long has this been warm?" Lucas asked as he held the ice pack.

"I don't know," she mumbled.

"Go ahead and take a shower, I'll get dinner onto plates and have everything set up by the time you're done."

"No-"

"Alex, come on," Lucas nudged. "You know you'll feel better. I'll put this ice pack in the freezer...and hopefully you have another in there to put on that arm once you're done with dinner."

Alex smiled. "Okay."

"Also, I brought a movie."

"You," Alex said slowly as she eyed him, "brought a movie?" She was extremely surprised by this. It was a nice change and it would be interesting to see what he'd picked out. "Who are you and what have you done with my-"

"Boyfriend?"

"I really didn't know what we were labeling it, but that does always sound like we're teenagers," Alex said with a short laugh.

Lucas grinned at her. "Well, on the other hand, lovers always sounds like this is a sex only relationship."

"So, let's not consider it anything more than dating...if you're okay with that?"

"I can't refer to you as my intended?"

"You really are into that Victorian era, aren't you?"

Lucas shrugged. "I felt like it was so much better than referring to you as bae."

Alex cringed at that word and then shook her head, a smile threatening to spill out. "I take it back...I love the Victorian era...for at least their nicknames."

"Shower," he reminded.

"Okay, okay," she said as she moved away from him and headed back to where her room and bathroom were. It was a little weird to leave Lucas alone in her apartment, but she really was at the point of being too tired to care. Honestly, she was still fairly sure she could handle Lucas if he tried anything and she was even more sure that he wouldn't.

So, Alex tried to relax.

* * *

Dinner was wonderful.

It had been a little cold, but that was really her fault and she'd insisted that it wasn't a big deal because Lucas was all willing to try to microwave it. Alex had found herself so much more relaxed and happy after having her shower and changing into something more comfortable. She was nearly asleep, wrapped in Lucas' arms as they were reclined on her couch. His fingers were slowly playing with her hair. Alex couldn't be more relaxed. She felt horrible, though, because they'd not even watched the movie he'd brought. She'd been excited too because it was 'The Village' and he'd not seen it yet.

"I should go," he whispered into her hair before pressing a kiss there. "And let you go to sleep."

She turned in his arms until they were inches apart. "Stay?" Alex whispered.

"Stay?"

Alex leaned in and kissed him. There was something about him that made her feel so safe. She pulled back and stared into his eyes, she just wasn't ready to let him go yet. "I get to sleep in, stay with me tonight?"

"I have court in the morning, I'll have to leave early," Lucas told her.

She tilted her head and kissed his cheek and then tilted the other way before kissing his other cheek. He leaned in and kissed her neck, tickling her, and making her let out a laugh. Alex grinned wildly at that. "Does this mean you're staying?" she asked as she grabbed onto his arms.

"If you're certain."

"I am," Alex told him and moved back until she was on her feet. She held out her hand and Lucas took it. She flipped the lightswitch on their way to her room and found herself almost giddy at the thought to just have him holding her while she slept. It wasn't something that Alex had ever needed before, but she loved Lucas' touch.

She pulled him to her and kissed him again, her hands running down his sides as his arms wrapped around her. Alex pulled him closer to her bed before turning and pulling down the sheets and blankets. She pushed down the pajama pants she'd been wearing before crawling into bed and patting the empty space beside her.

"Don't suppose you happen to have pajamas?"

"No," Alex said. "Nothing that would fit you."

"It's probably less creepy that way," Lucas said and made a face, as if he thought about what he'd just said.

"Just strip down to your underwear," Alex told him. "I assume it's something that you wear?"

"I do," he said with a laugh and she swore she saw blush rising in his cheeks as he unbuckled his belt. He was still wearing his slacks and dress shirt from court earlier in the day.

"We're adults…"

"Alex, are you sure?"

"Right now, we're just sleeping," Alex told him. "I'm too tired to do anything else...and we're both adults."

"We are," Lucas said with a slow nod as he dropped his pants to the floor and then was suddenly folding them. "I just don't want you to feel like we're pushing things." He moved to unbuttoning his shirt.

Alex moved to the side of the bed that had been empty and kneeled on the edge, she reached out and started to assist him in unbuttoning his shirt. "Lucas, do you really think that I'm someone that can be pushing into doing things that I don't want?" she teased as she stared at him, though she really was serious as well.

He chuckled and seemed to blush more. "No…"

"So, don't worry so much," Alex told him and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"I just really don't want to screw this up."

"Well, then I think we're both on the same page."

"Scoot," he told her as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Alex moved and got back under the covers on the side she normally slept on and turned onto her side to face him. It was sort of weird, but it was so nice to have him there. "Thank you...for taking care of me tonight."

"I have a feeling you don't do that often…"

"You're right."

"Well, I am touched that I am the one that you allowed to do it."

* * *

Alex didn't know what time it was, it was still so dark, so it couldn't be morning yet. She rolled over in her bed and stared in the direction of where Lucas slept. The sound of his breathing was so comforting. His hand reached out and ran up the curve of her side. She smiled at that, knowing that it wasn't the movement of someone asleep. "Did I wake you?"

"Do you often watch people sleep?"

"It was just a moment."

He let out a chuckle. "I think watching someone sleep is one of the most beautiful things."

"How is it that I feel like we've known each other our entire lives?"

"I think the word for that is soulmate."

"I don't know if I believe in soulmates."

"I believe that everyone has a whole range of soulmates...sometimes they're people that we need to have in our lives...they're friends...family...and then there's the romantic kind," Lucas told her.

Alex sucked in a breath and decided that now, it felt too right and too perfect, so she gave up the analyzing that she kept doing. She pushed down her panties and kicked them the rest of the way off before pulling her shirt up over her head. She had fallen so hard for Lucas and she'd been fighting it because it felt like it was too much to take in all too fast.

"Alex-"

"If you don't want to," she said, suddenly feeling worried that-

"No, no," Lucas said quickly and pulled her closer to him until her bare skin met his. "I just wanted to make sure you were _certain_."

"I'm certain," she told him as her hand ran down his spine.

Lucas shifted and Alex could feel him removing his boxers, the heat of his body was warming her. His lips found hers and that was more than enough for her to know that he was certain as well. Everything seemed to shift between them and for once, Alex didn't think about it.

She just let it happen.

* * *

Morning came too soon, the light filtered into Alex's windows at full blast. She'd pulled the blanket over her head and had sworn that there was no way that it could be morning already. Alex reached out and felt that the space in her bed was empty. Sighing, she knew it had to be morning then. Turning onto her side, she listened for a moment and heard no signs of him still in her apartment. Lucas had already left for court. So, it had to be sometime after eight. She just lay there with her eyes closed and in complete denial that it was likely nearly time where she had to think about getting up. J'onn had told her that she could come in late, but she really didn't want to be too late.

There was a sudden and quick nearly hysterical knocking at her apartment door. "Alex? Alex?! Are you in there?"

Kara.

"I'm coming," Alex mumbled. Her sister at least could hear her. Groaning, she shoved the blankets off of her and rolled onto her side and as her feet hit the floor, they didn't support her own weight, and Alex ended up on the floor with a few choice explicit words. Realizing that she was naked, she quickly reached for the pajama shirt and pants that were beside the bed and pulled them on in an effort to be covered.

Pushing herself up and using the side of the bed for assistance, she managed to get to her feet and to walk okay...well, at least until she could grab the doorframe and anything else that she considered sturdy between her bedroom and front door. She swung it open and found her sister looking extremely frazzled.

"Are you okay?" Kara asked quite seriously.

Alex just blinked in confusion.

"I've called you at least ten times," Kara stated as she moved into the apartment. Alex just closed the door behind her sister and leaned up against it, closing her eyes again. "I've probably texted you a hundred! What is going on?!"

Her sister seemed extremely loud and- It was then when Alex blinked her eyes open again that she noticed the time on the microwave behind Kara. Her head spun at that and she felt heavier. "How is it two?"

"J'onn wanted to come, but they've been out all day and I've been busy at CatCo," Kara rambled on. "James is actually answering phones...I so owe him." Kara was approaching her now. "Are you sick? Or hung over?"

She sort of felt like both.

"The clock has to be wrong," Alex mumbled as she rubbed her face roughly.

"Alex, seriously," Kara said as she held tight to Alex's arms, practically holding her up. "What is going on?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

Kara had scooped her up in one motion and was carrying her back to bed. Alex couldn't even bring herself to support herself at all. She just watched once she was set down, as her sister moved to her drawers and started to pack a bag. Alex just blinked, not sure what was going on. A moment later, Kara had changed and was dressed as Supergirl. The bag was slung over her sister before she scooped her up once again.

"It's not breaking rules if everyone knows, right?" Kara whispered as they exited out of Alex's window.

They flew.

It had been so long since Alex and Kara had flown together. Perhaps, normally Alex would have enjoyed it, too, but not this time. It was just a blur of blue and white and at some point, Alex just passed out.

* * *

The beeping was what woke her.

The other mechanical sounds only seemed to join in a breath later.

Alex blinked until she could see clearly. She was hook up to medical machines and she was in the DEO. These were all things that didn't make sense to her. The last thing she'd remembered was being home...sleeping...Lucas...why-

"You're awake." J'onn stood, so that he was in her line of sight a moment later. "You scared us."

"What happened?"

"We were hoping you could tell us," J'onn said gently as he brushed hair away from her face. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Going home. Eating dinner with Lucas. Going to bed-"

"Could he have drugged you?"

"No," Alex said quickly. Of course, she knew that that was naive. She hadn't actually witnessed the prep or pouring of anything. "I guess...but he wouldn't have done that. Is that what happened? I was drugged?"

"We're not sure," J'onn said. "That was two days ago. When Kara brought you in, you were suffering from dehydration, malnutrition, and exhausted."

Kara.

That's when she remembered flashes.

Kara.

They'd flown there.

"I…"

"Right now, I'm just happy that you're awake and that all of your vitals are up."

"Kara?"

"She should be back soon," J'onn whispered. "Right now, just rest...I need to get the doctor."

Once his back was turned, she used the railing to help her sit up more, so she could look around for her phone. She wasn't sure what day that was supposed to make it, but she was certain that Lucas would have called and texted her...and likely her mother as well. At least her mother would have called Kara if she hadn't gotten response from her.

"Alexandra," J'onn ground out without turning back around.

She groaned and relaxed back into the bed.

"I will return with the doctor...and your phone."

Telepathy.

She'd forgotten.

* * *

TBC...


	4. Adventures in Observation

"I swear I feel fine right now," Alex argued.

"I really would prefer she stay another night," the doctor stated.

She didn't miss the look that J'onn gave her, it told her who was winning this conversation and it wasn't her. Letting out a sigh, she looked the other way. "Are we sure it wasn't like a bug?"

"Maybe an alien one," the doctor remarked. "She was out in the field the evening before she was found, perhaps there was something that was missed?"

"Could it have had something to do with her injury?" J'onn questioned.

Snapping her head back to pay attention to the conversation, she waited to hear the doctor say something where he actually had a firm answer. So far there were far too many 'I don't know' or 'perhaps'. She hated those kinds of responses, they were so wishy-washy.

"Agent Adler came in with similar injuries and haven't exhibited any of the symptoms that Agent Danvers had," the doctor explained. "I even re-examined her myself. She's completely healthy. So, no."

"I already had your apartment swept and they didn't find anything that might explain this," J'onn told her.

Of course.

"If anything, it likely only showed that I rarely actually am at home for anything more than sleeping and showering," Alex told him as she gave him a stern look. What had he expected to find? Poison? She'd have to have a stocked fridge and cupboards and have the real possibility of someone contaminating it.

"I'll leave you two to discuss this," the doctor said.

He was likely feeling the tension. Alex just didn't know why they needed to invade her space. Sure, J'onn had good intentions, but her apartment was the last place in the world that was like a sanctuary to her. They just stared at each other before she pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear and looked away, her hands holding onto the side of the bed as she sat on the edge of it. She'd really hoped to be able to go home.

"You're not pleased with me."

"I just don't know why you'd take a team to my apartment-"

"Alex, you were unconscious for _two days_ ," J'onn reminded sternly. "The last place you were was the best place to look for something that could have affected you."

"It was probably a bug," Alex insisted. "I've been working a lot of hours and things have been more stressful than normal...it probably just all hit me at once." The way he looked at her, she knew that he didn't believe that she even believed that. he was right. "Okay, so it doesn't explain my symptoms…" She sighed. "But they've run every kind of test on me, right? I'm fine."

"Now."

"Do you have any ideas?"

"No."

"But you want me to stay another night for observation?"

"Only because of the odd circumstances."

Blowing out a hard huff, she had no idea how she was going to pass the time until she was finally released. There was only so much Candy Crush she could play on her phone. She also had hoped to be able to actually see Lucas and assure him that she was okay. Apparently Kara had bumped into him at Noonan's before Alex had woken up and had told him that Alex was really sick and was hospitalized at a special facility (because he really couldn't visit her at the DEO).

"You can't blame me for wanting to be cautious, Alex," J'onn said quietly, softening.

He was right.

If it were him or Kara, she'd be just as cautious and concerned.

"I just hate being idle."

"I know, but you scared all of us...I was honestly afraid you might not wake up." J'onn moved closer to her, he reached out and touched her upper shoulder as he stared at her. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you…"

"You're not-"

"It was _scary_ , Alex."

* * *

"How are you feeling?"

"Bored."

"But honestly-"

"I feel fine."

"How much longer do you have to stay?"

"Until the doctor says I can leave."

Kara sighed. "I was hoping that you'd be released for movie night…because I was thinking that we could invite Lucas over-"

"Not tonight, I'm stuck here," Alex interrupted with a huff. Kara had come and kept her company, but Alex knew that her sister was going to have to go. They were doing movie night at her place and Kara needed to get some things done before it all started. Alex just wanted to go _home_ , so even if she could leave the DEO, she'd go straight home. Even though she'd slept for over two days, she still found herself a little tired. It was almost like a dragging feeling, like she needed coffee (which they wouldn't give her). "Another time maybe."

"Can I get you anything from your apartment?"

Alex smiled. "You are the best sister, but no...you already brought me a bag, remember?"

"But I might not have brought everything you wanted-"

"Thank you, Kara," Alex told her gently. "But go...you have a lot to get done. Life goes on. You're going to have fun tonight."

"That entirely depends on people's opinions," Kara pointed out as she got to her feet. She let out a sigh and then moved to hug Alex. "I love you."

Alex clung to her sister for a moment, eyes closing, and wishing that she could take Kara up on her offer. "I love you and thank you," she said as they parted.

"Hey, bringing clothes for you is easy...it all looks pretty much the same…"

Shaking her head with a smile still on her lips, Alex sighed. "I meant for finding me...for bringing me here."

"I'm just glad that you feel better."

"I do."

Kara leaned in and kissed Alex's forehead. "Call me. Text me. Whatever you need, you let me know...okay?"

"And you text me if Winn or James or Lucy have weird opinions," Alex put out there. She could still be there with Kara, even if she wasn't physically at the movie night.

"Will do."

* * *

 **Alex Danvers:** Hey.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Hey, I heard you were really sick. Doing better?

 **Alex Danvers:** It must have been some random bug. They don't even really know what it was.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Scary. What were your symptoms?

Alex stared at the phone for a long moment before replying. She didn't want to scare him and telling him the entire truth, she didn't know what else would scare him...besides perhaps knowing the full truth of what she really did as far as work. She sighed and just typed the abbreviated response.

 **Alex Danvers:** Exhaustion. Probably too much work.

 **Lucas Lewis:** You ARE always working. Not that I'm judging. I have no right to judge.

Alex just smiled at that. It was what helped things work between the two of them. They didn't get mad when the other cancelled because of work because they both worked crazy hours and had intense jobs. Even if Lucas didn't know the whole truth about her job, he'd always been nothing but supportive.

 **Alex Danvers:** I miss you.

 **Lucas Lewis:** When are they releasing you?

 **Alex Danvers:** 1 more night of observation and then I get to go home tomorrow. I tried to convince Kara to break me out, but she's too good of a sister.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Rest. Feel better. You deserve it. You never rest enough as it is.

 **Alex Danvers:** Forced rest only irritates me. I should be doing things.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Are you giving the doctors hell?

 **Alex Danvers:** I think the one is scared of me.

 **Lucas Lewis:** He's smart.

 **Alex Danvers:** What are you doing? Distract me.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Lunch. I have to go back into court in 15 minutes. It should conclude today, though. Maybe I can bring you chicken noodle soup tomorrow?

 **Alex Danvers:** I'm pretty sure I'm going to want actual food.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Well, I'd happily bring you whatever you wanted.

 **Alex Danvers:** I might just want PJs and relaxing.

 **Lucas Lewis:** I'm assuming you're taking a few days off?

 **Alex Danvers:** 2\. For now. They wanted more.

 **Lucas Lewis:** You should take the time off.

 **Alex Danvers:** I'll go crazy.

 **Lucas Lewis:** I love your crazy.

Alex just smirked. She looked up to see J'onn staring at her, his hands on his hips, from the other side of the glass. Locking the screen, she set it down in the blanket and motioned for him to come in. She wondered how long he'd been standing there. Had he been just watching her or had he been looking into her head? She knew that it seemed to really shake him up, and for good reason, that no one knew why and what had happened to her.

He seemed to be a little hesitant, but entered quietly. J'onn remained silent as he slowly moved towards the bed. It made her wonder all the more what was going on. She really hated being out of the cycle of information. Alex just wanted him to speak, to say something, to say anything.

"I know you want to go home," J'onn said as he sat down on the chair at her bedside.

"I know that you want me to stay here one more night," Alex countered. She gave him a smile and reached out to touch his arm. "I know you're just being cautious...that you want to make sure there's not something really wrong that hasn't presented itself yet. I get it. That doesn't make this any easier on me though."

He finally gave her a smile. "I know that it isn't easy for you," he told her gently. "You were texting Lucas before, weren't you?"

"Spying?" she half teased, half serious.

"I saw how you smiled, how you lit up...he's been the one who's been making you _that_ happy," J'onn pointed out. "I didn't need to spy in any other way than seeing your face."

Alex sighed. "He told me I should take more time off."

"He's right."

"I can't-"

"Alex, you've not taken one day off in the two years you've worked for me," J'onn pointed out seriously. "Please, take some of it…"

"I lost two days…"

"So, come back for two days and then go away for a week," J'onn suggested. "Some place without alien threats."

Alex smirked at that. "Where specifically is that?"

"Are you saying you're an alien trouble magnet?" he teased.

"Maybe."

J'onn chuckled at that. "You should do it, Alex. I'd order it, if I could trust you to actually follow my orders."

"I follow them," Alex defended and then thought about it. "Sometimes," she mumbled. Alex shrugged. "I don't even know _where_ I'd go."

"Pick a place and just go."

"I-"

"You have a passport, you have the days, you could go anywhere in the world."

She thought about it for a minute. "You're serious?"

"I don't know if I've ever been _more_ serious."

She was certain that he had.

When he changed the look he was giving her, she just smiled a little brighter. "You would miss me," she teased lightly.

"I would," he replied seriously.

And she would miss him.

And Kara.

And the action and adventure of it all.

Alex wasn't even sure if she knew _how_ to go on vacation.

* * *

 **Alex Danvers:** Let's go away somewhere.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Just like that?

 **Alex Danvers:** Too much?

 **Lucas Lewis:** No.

 **Alex Danvers:** Too fast?

 **Lucas Lewis:** No.

 **Alex Danvers:** ?

 **Lucas Lewis:** You tell me when and where and I'll be there.

 **Alex Danvers:** Tomorrow I get out...and then back to work for 2 days and then a week off after that? How does your schedule look?

 **Lucas Lewis:** I can keep it open.

 **Alex Danvers:** Are you sure?

 **Lucas Lewis:** For you? Yes.

 **Alex Danvers:** I don't care where we go. Somewhere. Away. That's all I want.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Want to talk about it tomorrow?

 **Alex Danvers:** Yes. I'll text you when I'm home.

 **Lucas Lewis:** And text me what you want me to bring you food-wise.

 **Alex Danvers:** Angel.

 **Lucas Lewis:** Yes, you are.

 **Alex Danvers:** Making me blush isn't making tomorrow come quicker.

 **Lucas Lewis:** I'm just happy I can make you blush with a single word.

 **Alex Danvers:** You have a talent.

 **Lucas Lewis:** A secret power I didn't know I possessed. The things I learn about myself when I'm with you, Alex.

* * *

Being released didn't come soon enough.

"Do you need a ride?" Adler questioned as Alex walked through the DEO command center.

"Actually, yes," Alex said after a brief thought.

"I figured you'd be itching to get out of here."

"Oh, I am."

"Required stops?"

"Possibly food, but I haven't decided yet."

"Food is _always_ a good call," Adler told her.

"You're both off?"

They both stopped and turned to see their boss standing there. She knew that she should have gone by and told him that she was off, but she was slightly worried that he'd try to keep her longer. She just wanted to get out. She wanted to breathe in fresh air. She wanted to go home. She wanted to eat some good food. She wanted to see Lucas. Alex was coming back in the morning, so it wasn't like she was gone for the week yet.

"I was cleared, Sir," Alex said.

"I'm off, just was going to give Agent Danvers a ride home," Adler informed him.

"Very well," J'onn said. "Carry on."

He walked off and Alex watched him for an extra moment before catching up with Adler, who had instantly started to walk in the direction of where the vehicles were all parked. Alex just smiled when she finally caught up with Adler. "Thanks for this."

"Sure," Adler said with a shrug. "It's not a problem. Same direction and we have to stick together, right? Can't leave you stranded. You'd do the same for me."

And she would.

 **Alex Danvers:** Getting a ride home.

 **Lucas Lewis:** I'm out of court early.

 **Alex Danvers:** Meet me at my place in 45 minutes?

 **Lucas Lewis:** Food?

 **Alex Danvers:** We can order once you get there.

 **Lucas Lewis:** I'll see you soon.

"You texting that Lucas guy?"

Alex looked over at Adler as they got into her vehicle. "What?"

"The one that's been making you smile...like that...stupidly," Adler accused with a finger before closing her door closed. She was smiling herself and almost seemed amused. "I don't know why you think it's this big secret."

"It was supposed to be."

"Does the boss know?"

"Yeah. Can't keep anything from him."

"No kidding."

"Your sister-"

"How many people know?"

"Like...everyone," Adler said with a shrug as she started the vehicle. "I mean, it's not really that big of a base. I mean, once Laura got ahold of it...it spread like wildfire."

Alex dropped her face into her hands. She supposed it really wasn't that bad, but it seemed so silly. Adler made it sound like the DEO was made up of high schoolers. Of course, she supposed that other agents' love lives were probably much better to discuss than alien threats. "I can't believe-"

"It's really not that bad," Adler told her. "You're happy, people are happy, the boss hasn't complained…"

She still couldn't believe it.

* * *

TBC…


	5. Vacation

**Author's Note:** Since this site does not go up to explicit, you'll have to go to AO3 for the smut. I ended up cutting up like 3k words alone. I'll put in notes throughout where the sections that were removed are. My pen name is the same here as it is on AO3. As always, don't forget to follow me on Tumblr (shannyfishwriter) for updates, extras, sneak peeks, and I've been taking dialogue requests!

* * *

 **Estes Park, Colorado**

They had an entire week up there and Alex wasn't sure what they were going to do with the whole week, but Lucas had promised to teach her how to properly relax. "There's no cell service up here," Alex said with a frown.

"We had it in town."

And they had.

Alex hadn't worried because at the top of the mountain they'd still had service, but now that they were more isolated and at their little cabin they were without. She'd texted J'onn and Kara and her mother from town at least. Kara and J'onn knew where they were, but her mother thought that she was away at a conference (which is what she'd reminded her sister was the 'cover story' as she wasn't ready to tell her mother about Lucas just yet).

"There's the landline," Lucas reminded as he motioned to the wall. "Corded and everything."

"Is it weird of me to call Kara and my boss to make sure that they can get ahold of me?" Alex asked him. She didn't want to ruin the weekend or the mood or anything, but she wanted to also be also to rest easy knowing that she _could_ be reached.

"No," he said with a short laugh and motioned to it again. "Call them. Just in case. I would rather they know how to contact you than for a squad of black SUVs roll up with helicopters because they can't locate their agent," he teased.

Alex gave him a smile, it sounded ridiculous, but it really wasn't _that_ ridiculous. She wasn't going to tell him that, though. Of course, it would be more like Kara and J'onn would arrive one night to check on her via the sky. "Right," she said instead and headed over and gave them both a quick call, giving them the phone number on the handset.

Once it was done, she found that Lucas had seemed to have put everything away. Bags were out of the living space and likely in the bedroom while he was still finishing putting away the groceries into the kitchen. She moved over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so glad that we did this."

"Me too."

"How are you feeling?"

"You asked me that several times during the drive from the airport," Alex pointed out. She didn't know if he suddenly thought she was fragile or something since she had gotten so sick or if he just had decided that he'd fuss over her. He should really know better, but then it wasn't like she could share any of her real work stories. She couldn't tell him the _real_ reasons why she came home with bruises.

"Those were concerns with you adjusting to the altitude," he told her.

"I told you I didn't get high altitude sickness."

"I still like to be kind and ask these things," Lucas told her. "It's not because I think that you need my hovering...I know you don't appreciate that."

Alex smiled up at him. "So, what are we doing?"

"Hiking?"

"I like to hike," Alex told him brightly. The scenery on the drive to Estes Park and through the town had been beautiful, so she couldn't wait to get out there and really explore it. Of course, this might be her first nature hike that didn't involve keeping an eye out for hostile aliens. She wasn't sure if she'd know how to be less on guard during the hike, but she'd try her best.

"I picked up that map," Lucas reminded. "I was looking at it and it seems like we might even be able to cover every single hiking trail between now and the end of our week here."

"Oh, this almost sounds like a challenge…"

"I was thinking more of a goal," Lucas said with a shake of his head and a bright smile. "But challenge accepted."

"There's also a hot tub."

"Which we will be using _a lot._ "

Alex couldn't agree more with that idea. She wasn't sure how she was going to drop her guard and keep from worrying over Kara and work, but she was certain that Lucas was going to keep her plenty distracted. She gave him a quick kiss before moving towards the bedroom to change into more appropriate clothing and footwear for their hike.

* * *

It was amazing to Alex that the first day had already passed and that she'd barely thought or worried about what could be going on back in National City or as far as aliens were concerned. Not once did their phone ring while they were at the cabin and Alex almost didn't realize how peaceful it was without a phone to be toggled to at all times. She was far too used to being on call at all hours, every day.

"I don't think I've ever seen you look so happy," Lucas remarked as they sat in the hot tub on the porch.

Lucas had made the most amazing meal and if Alex hadn't watched him make it, she would have sworn that it was from a gourmet restaurant. She was definitely going to be spoiled at the end of the trip, she already felt spoiled as it was. "I'm having a really amazing time."

"Me, too," he echoed with a smile.

And it was only the first day.

"We don't _have_ to go back to National City, right?"

She just smiled at that. "I think we'd be missed."

"I know _you_ would be," Lucas countered. "Kara would come hunting for her sister."

He didn't know _how_ true that was.

"I don't think she'd appreciate me stealing her sister away," Lucas continued. "But then...I _did_ enjoy game night…"

"It can definitely be fun," Alex commented with a smile. She ran her fingers through her hair as she stared at him. It was so nice, but so weird at the same time. It seemed like it was so much easier for Lucas to just not have to worry about the world that they were currently not apart of, but not for Alex. Lucas had lost his family years before and from what she knew, he didn't have anyone. She wasn't even sure he had friends outside of her… Alex, though, had her family and her job and she just couldn't give up all of that so easily...no matter how nice it was there with him.

"I was thinking that maybe we can just have a lazy day tomorrow…"

"I figured it would be a lazy day _every_ day," Alex said with a smile. "Sleeping in and planning things as the day went on...unless you have some secret itinerary that I don't know about?"

"No secret itinerary," he said with a laugh. "Just want to make sure that we get to do whatever you want to be able to do while we're here. I know how difficult it was for you to get a week off. I just want to make sure that you enjoy it while we're here… Though, I'll admit, I wouldn't mind being up here during winter when it snows."

Alex wasn't sure how safe that was, but she had to admit, it would be equally as great except for different reasons. A fire in the fireplace all day long, sitting in the hot tub while it snowed, and just cuddling up drinking hot chocolate. That all sounded nice to her. She also wouldn't mind a snowball fight or just playing in the snow, they didn't get that kind of weather in National City. She remembered growing up and always wishing for snow at Christmas, that was until she understood that it wasn't possible because of the region they lived in.

"This week, I just want you and I to be able to get to know each other better and to not have to worry about our jobs...at least as much as we're able to."

And she was trying.

* * *

"It's nice up here, isn't it?" Lucas asked. "Away from civilization?"

Alex smiled sleepily from where she was curled up, half on the blanket they'd spread out on the grassy area and half in Lucas' lap. She was exhausted and it was only noon, she didn't know why, but she couldn't be in better company. "There's the town not far, that's still _technically_ civilization…"

"It's _civilized_ civilization," Lucas countered. "But no skyscrapers...no needing to be somewhere all day long… No news about people killing each other or any of the ugliness that this world has turned into… Trees everywhere… Green… Peace… We should just stay here, Alex," he whispered as he looked down at her. He seemed so at peace in that moment and for a moment, Alex wanted to give into that thought.

His fingers moved through her hair and Alex felt like she was almost separated from her own body. She didn't feel like she was totally there, but she'd been pushing herself to be able to leave the house even though Lucas had told her that they could stay in bed all day, he'd happily bring her whatever she wanted. The day had been so beautiful, though, and Alex hadn't wanted to miss it. The days were ticking by and she knew that sooner rather than later they were going to have to return to National City and their jobs and lives there…

"I don't think that I could ever live in a place with such a slow pace," Alex whispered. She felt so heavy, like sleep was going to claim her at any moment. "It's beautiful...but I would miss the busy and Kara and my job… You know that as _nice_ as this is, my home is National City…" Her eyes were having even a harder time to stay open, blinking rapidly.

" _Homes change_ ," Lucas breathed as he leaned in for a passionate kiss.

And then she just let the black pull her in.

* * *

It was night.

Alex blinked and wondered how long she'd been asleep.

"Lucas?" she whispered.

It took her a moment and realized that her voice had been so quiet that even her own ears hadn't heard his name from her lips. Alex knew that she was all alone in the bed and when she rolled onto her side, she could light filtering in under the door. Slowly, she pushed the blankets away and then sat up. Her head spun and she sat there, gripping the fabric of the sheets under her as she waited for her world to come to a stop.

After a couple of minutes, Alex pushed herself up to her feet, she held onto the bed in the dark for a moment, making sure she was steady, before moving to the door. She opened it and the shock of the harsh light took her a moment to adjust to, her eyes squeezing shut as she continued to pull the door open.

"Hey."

Alex blinked quickly and her eyes finally adjusted, she was dressed in a black camisole and panties, but she didn't care. It was just them and they were up at their isolated cabin. She smiled when she realized that he'd been slaving away in the kitchen. She looked at the clock and realized just how late it was. She had no understanding of how time had passed by so quickly.

"I hope you're hungry? You've been sleeping most of the day," Lucas told her. "I guess you got too much sun or something? You just seemed so peaceful, so I let you sleep."

"You could have woken me," Alex pointed out. It smelled delicious, whatever he was cooking. She moved closer to him, closing the distance between them. "I haven't meant to sleep away this vacation…"

He grinned at her and pulled her the last few inches, his hands on her waist. Lucas was immediately devouring her in a kiss, until it left her breathless. "You've been _relaxing_ … I am starting to think that this is the _only_ time in your _life_ you've actually allowed yourself to just completely let go and relax…"

"What are you making for dinner?" she asked with a bright smile. He was still holding her and she found herself not wanting to leave his arms, she pressed her head against his chest and hugged him tightly.

"It's a _surprise,_ " he told her and then pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "But we have time," Lucas continued and started to press kisses along the tender skin of her neck. His hands moved down and over her hips, his fingers gripping her bare skin of her leg.

 **SECTION REMOVED - PLEASE READ ON AO3**

* * *

After the shower, she'd stolen one of his plaid shirts and dressed in it with a pair of panties. Lucas hadn't argued one bit and she swore that he was likely plotting how to get it off of her later. They ate dinner and between that and the shower, it was enough to make her feel more alive. They'd talked over what they were doing the next day and Alex couldn't even grasp where all of the time had gone, tomorrow was their last day on vacation.

 _A week_.

It only felt like they'd been gone for two days.

Alex felt like she'd spent some much of it sleeping. "It's going to be weird going back to work…"

"You are not wrong," he told her as he held her on the couch. "I would happily hide away in a cabin with you...spending our days hiking and exploring...and then our nights together like this."

Tempting.

It was tempting.

Never in her life had she been so tempted to make such a big life change like this. She couldn't, though, and she shook that thought out of her head. It made her sad to think about how she couldn't. Alex just thought that that would equal leaving the DEO and Kara and J'onn. She couldn't do that. She'd feel too much guilt in her life knowing that there was so much going on in the world and that she wouldn't be there to help keep the world safe...and that she wouldn't be there to keep an eye on and help Kara. Alex was fairly sure that she could never live too far from her sister, especially with what she'd chosen in life...to be Supergirl.

No, they had to go back to reality…

Back to National City.

Back to their lives there.

"Things won't change so much," she whispered as she ran her fingers up and down his arms. "I mean, we'll work...but we normally work similar-ish hours…"

"Depends on my cases," Lucas admitted. "But then sometimes your work steals you away."

"Sometimes," Alex agreed. "We're just going to have to make sure we have a committed date night or something…"

"I'm going to miss sharing a bed with you," Lucas mused and kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her. "I mean, every night...and waking up every morning to try to be the first...so that I can be the one watching you while you sleep…"

"I think you've won on that front during this vacation," Alex pointed out with a smile. She knew that the real way to fix that would be to move in together, but that seemed so soon and so quick, Alex just wasn't ready for that yet. Also, she wouldn't want to have to be the one to have to give up her apartment...there was also the fact that she just wasn't ready to go through the whole domestic couple disputes of where to fit everything and what to compromise on. Right now, she just wanted more of this, more of the ease of their relationship.

"And I've _loved_ every moment of it."

They cuddled like that for a long while before either spoke again.

"I never expected to fall in love with anyone again, Alex," he spoke so softly, if they weren't sitting there in silence she would have missed it. "Not like this. Not hard and fast and so completely…"

"It was unexpected," she agreed. "I'm glad, though…"

"So am I…"

* * *

Eventually they made their way to the bedroom, they both collapsed onto the bed and pulled the covers up and over them. Alex watched him for a moment, she was tired and relaxed but wasn't ready to pass out. She lifted the blanket enough so that she could straddle Lucas. She leaned down so that her weight was spread across his bare chest, she crossed her arms over him and stared down at him until they were nose to nose. It was silly, but Alex was enjoying this close moments so much. He just smiled stupidly at her and didn't shift, he just kept still and let her lay there.

Alex had a moment where she realized how much she really was going to miss this as well, being together like this… She still wasn't ready to move in, to make that big step. This was going to be hard to deal with though once they were back in National City because Alex had a feeling she was going to wake up and be extremely disappointed that he wasn't in bed next to her.

Too fast.

Everything that she was feeling, what he was feeling for her, it just felt so fast...and not giving into that big step...it was all she could do to slow it. "What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"How much I wish our lives could be like this when we get home."

And he was honest.

And she was thinking the same.

"Maybe we'll just have to switch who's place we sleep over at when we get back," Alex suggested. "Clear out a drawer or something…"

His hand reached up and gently caressed her cheek. "I'll still miss you...miss this…" His smile brightened. "Not like we've argued over taking all the hot water or moving things…"

Lucas was right, but then it likely had been easy because she'd slept most of the mornings, so he had no one to fight with. "I know," she whispered. "But I can't give up my space, I-"

He silenced her with a quick kiss. "I know," he replied. "But that doesn't make me wish for it any less… There's also the fact that our jobs keep us so busy and we _need_ to keep secrets… A one bedroom apartment isn't helping either of us on that front."

"I don't normally bring files home," Alex said with a small nod. "But you do."

"I do."

"I still wish this didn't have to end…"

"It doesn't have to," he reminded with another kiss.

 **SECTION REMOVED - PLEASE READ ON AO3**

* * *

The light woke her and then the smell of coffee.

Alex blinked herself awake and found that she wasn't alone in the bed, this was probably the first time all week that she'd woken and found Lucas just staring at her. She smiled stupidly at him and stretched for a moment. "What time is it?"

"Nearly noon."

She groaned. "I'm going to not want to go into work when we get back."

"We're not leaving until tomorrow," he reminded. "No talk of work until we touch down in National City," he chided with a kiss.

Alex happily accepted the kiss and realized that she was still in the plaid shirt and just that. It was still open in the front, but she didn't go to button it up. She didn't really care in that moment, she was just glad that Lucas was there. "You haven't been laying here the entire time," she said and waited for confirmation that she was right.

"No," he said with a small laugh. "I've made breakfast...or brunch...and coffee…"

"We were going to go on that picnic," she remembered as she covered her face with her hand.

He pulled her to him and kissed her again. "We can do whatever we want, my intended," he reminded. Lucas nosed her neck and then suckled on her shoulder. She laughed and batted at him lightly. He'd already left a mark on her shoulder, luckily a place she could cover, but it seemed like he was determined to leave more or make it bigger. He laughed and then kissed the spot. "No one is going to see it...except me."

" _I_ will know it's there."

"And then you'll remember my lips on you...my hands...our bodies connecting-"

Blush filled her and she looked away, which only seemed to give him better access to her neck as he was dropping gentle kisses there now. "It's not something I'm going to forget...even without a mark…"

"Good," he whispered against her ear.

* * *

The day had been beautiful and Alex had felt extremely emotional as they got closer to the end of the day. They'd spent time in the hot tub and done everything that they could to relax and really take full advantage of the day. It didn't ease the feelings that Alex was feeling.

"What's wrong?" Lucas asked, obviously able to read her.

"I don't know if I'm ready to go home."

"We still have tonight."

"I know," she whispered, but that didn't help things.

"So, make a call, Alex," he prompted. "I don't have any new cases until I say so… Call your office and let them know you need a little longer… You probably have a year's worth of vacation days you could use...or they could just give you some time off."

"No," she said sadly. "They're waiting for me… I just-"

"We're not going to end this day on a sad note," he told her firmly and scooped her up.

Dinner hadn't been prepared yet and Alex could honestly care less about it. She knew that she could call J'onn, call Kara...they could call the airline and the rental company...make arrangements, but Alex knew that life would always be waiting for them...more time wasn't going to change that.

Lucas set her down in the bathroom and started to strip her down. Alex wasn't sure what was going on, but she was fairly sure that she was clean enough. She'd already been in the shower that morning and they'd been in the hot tub-

 **SECTION REMOVED - PLEASE READ ON AO3**

* * *

TBC…


	6. Rollercoaster

**Author's Note:** Like the last chapter, there are bits that are missing from this chapter because of rating issues. To read the chapter in its entirety please read it on AO3 (shannyfish). I will mark the missing scene spots.

* * *

"You look tired."

"You are my favorite," she told her sister. Alex happily took the to-go cup of coffee from Kara's outstretched hands. She was drinking it down even before they found a table to sit at. Her body was craving the caffeine. The plane ride had been okay and she'd slept mostly through it, but obviously it wasn't the same as sleeping in her own bed.

"Alex, I thought you went on vacation to _rest_ ," Kara said with concern.

Her sister had purposely met her early so that they could meet before both of them had to part ways and go off to their jobs. It had been a week since she'd seen Kara and that was really too long. Alex had missed her sister dearly. "I _did_ rest."

"Well, you don't _look_ it."

Alex sighed. "I'll be fine _after_ coffee."

"I'm sure J'onn wouldn't mind if you called out today. He'd understand. I mean, you probably have jet lag-"

"No," Alex said, pushing that thought out of her mind. "I _need_ to get back to work. It's been too long anyways." She didn't miss the look on Kara's face, one of disapproval. Alex couldn't just sleep another day away. She was home, so that meant getting back to work and back to her routine. Routine gave her structure and control in her life, she needed it back. "I'll be _fine_. It'll probably be catching up on e-mails, chatting with Vasquez, being told that I look tired apparently…"

Kara sighed. "Don't be mean… I'm just concerned," her sister insisted. "Drink your coffee."

And she did.

* * *

"Go home."

"Sir-"

She followed him even though he'd already made it quite clear that he didn't like that she appeared so tired. Alex didn't tell him that she'd already had three cups of coffee before getting to the DEO and had had two more since she'd arrived at the base. She'd actually found that she was a little shaky from all the coffee. It had been a while since she'd been that hyped on caffeine and even then, it had taken a lot more to get her shaky like that and had included energy drinks.

Alex followed him into his office and closed the door behind them. "J'onn, please."

"Alex," he growled as he looked up at her from where he sat behind his desk. "You know that I wouldn't tell you to go home unless I felt like it was the right thing to do."

"I'm _fine_ ," she insisted.

"For the last few weeks, you've come into work and you've been _happy_ ," J'onn explained. "Over a week ago, we had _no idea_ what had happened to you...just that Kara got to you...and then you didn't wake when you should have...you were suffering from exhaustion, malnutrition, and dehydration." He paused for a moment. "You've been on vacation for a week, you were supposed to rest-"

" _I did_ -"

"Alex!" he snapped. "You don't look rested to me and I don't want you out in the field like this… Go home, get some rest, and come back tomorrow."

Alex just stared at him. She was determined to stay, to do her job. "So, I'll stay on base."

He just stared right back at her.

"J'onn, please...I just don't want to go home," Alex pleaded quietly. "I'll sit with Vasquez...I'll run searches...whatever… I just want to feel like I'm actually useful here today."

" _Fine_ ," he relented with a slight groan. "But you're staying _on base_ ," J'onn said as he pointed to her. "I don't care if you're the _last_ agent left on the base, you are _not_ leaving to go out into the field."

"That's a _little_ dramatic, isn't it?"

J'onn just eyed her.

"Oh-kay...going…"

* * *

Alex spent the entire day sitting around the DEO doing random things. At one point, she even went and made Vasquez coffee. She didn't even care what she was doing, she just didn't want to feel like she'd failed. Alex had already taken a week off and she'd come back telling herself that she was ready to go back to work.

Work was something she was good at.

J'onn had seen to it.

Work had given her purpose when she had nothing.

That's all she wanted right now, to feel like she had something to do. Alex was very good at being a workaholic. There was lab work she could do, but she figured that since she _was_ actually tired that it would be best to wait until she felt more rested. She didn't want to make stupid mistakes or possibly contaminate anything.

 **Lucas Lewis:** How's your day going?

Alex looked down at her phone and she wondered if she should tell him the truth. Would he worry? She didn't want to distract him from his work because he was worrying about her. It wasn't like she was going to do anything dangerous, the day was nearly over and she'd only hung around the base.

 **Alex Danvers:** Fine. How's it going there?

"Sir!" Vasquez called out. "We have a breach!"

No one waited for J'onn to say anything, klaxons were immediately blaring.

"Lock down the base!" J'onn shouted.

That was done a breath later, Alex had noticed that Vasquez was hovering to put in the control. She knew it was coming. They _all_ knew it was coming. Alex stood up and she met J'onn's eyes. If they had an escaped prisoner loose on base, then they _all_ needed to be on alert. That meant her too.

"I don't want you moving from here," he told her.

Alex gave him a nod and pulled her weapon from its holster. That was fine. This would be her position, her job, to protect Vasquez and the technicians. She could do that. It would be easy. Actually, there was a low chance of the prisoner even getting that far in the base so likely she'd just be standing there on guard until someone radioed in that the prisoner was secure again.

So, she waited.

"It's an Ambler," Vasquez spoke up.

"They're not normally violent," Alex stated. They all knew that. Amblers were a strange occurance because as far as they could tell, there weren't many on Fort Rozz, but they kept finding more and more.

"Oh, it's violent."

Alex looked over at Vasquez and then kept her eyes open. So far, they were okay. She'd dealt with out of control Amblers before, it was rare, but it _did_ happen. There tended to be a lot of noise and even more slashing.

"They're getting close," Vasquez alerted.

Crap.

Even though she wasn't out there in the halls with the other agents, Alex knew exactly how many DEO agents were on base. She knew how many were out there in the halls trying to stop and recapture the Ambler, J'onn among them. She knew exactly the damage that Amblers could do, too, so Alex kept picturing that too.

Focus.

She was having a hard time focusing, her mind was wandering and she was worrying. She had a task and that was to protect the agents behind her. The Ambler entered their area and Alex took a step back, motioning for everyone to stay down. They had weapons, too, but they could at least stay down.

Focus.

It all happened suddenly and instead of focusing on the Ambler like she knew she should and taking the shot, Alex looked to the side at the agents that were flooding into the control area. When she looked back in the direction of the Ambler, her eyes widened. This was it, she'd screwed up, the Ambler was going to take her down-

"Danvers!" she heard J'onn shout.

But she didn't feel the slice of claws, instead, she was shoved out of the way. She hit the floor hard enough to knock the gun out of her hands. Alex was shocked and it took her a moment before she looked back, a gunshot going off as she did so. The Ambler fell back and went down, but it was the agent on the floor that caught her eye. She'd expected to see J'onn, but it wasn't him.

Adler.

Oh god.

Panic hit her and she pushed towards Adler as the rest of the agents converged to take back the Ambler. "Adler? You okay?" Alex questioned.

"It's just a scratch," Adler brushed off.

It wasn't.

Adler was bleeding pretty badly. Her hands covered the gash, trying to put pressure on it, to keep it from bleeding so much, but it really didn't seem to help. "Stay awake, Alice," Alex whispered when Adler's eyelids started to slid closed.

J'onn came back like a blur and was carrying Adler to the med bay.

* * *

" _Danvers!_ "

She knew it was coming as she stood in the hall outside of med bay. Alex had already been beating herself up, but she knew that J'onn would have something to say as well. Her hands were on her hips and her head was down. She looked up at him through her hair, waiting for it. She deserved it. She knew that. Today was not Alex's best day. J'onn had been right, she could have gone home.

The fiery shouting that she expected to hear, that she knew she _deserved_ to hear, it didn't come. Instead, he huffed and then looked away for a moment. His hands were on his hips and then his voice came soft but she could still hear the anger behind it as he looked over at her. "Next time I tell you to go home, _you go_."

Alex nodded quickly. She was having a really hard to keeping it together. She was used to being the one who took a bullet for someone else. "How is she?"

"Adler's going to be fine," he told her. "Some stitches… She was more concerned about you."

Crap.

Did she really look that bad?

Was _everyone_ worried about her?

"I'm-"

"I know," J'onn said. He let out a sigh. "I should have had you escorted back to your apartment. Adler's injury is on me."

"No-"

He just glared at her.

She knew better. No matter what the truth was or what she said, J'onn was going to shoulder that guilt...just like she would. They were often more alike than they liked to admit. Alex nodded for a moment before looking back up at him. "What do you want me to do?"

"Go home."

"Okay."

"I'm having someone drive you."

Alex went to argue, but then shut her mouth again, and instead just gave him a nod.

* * *

"Hey…"

"I told you _not_ to come over," Alex said exhaustedly. She was a complete mess. After everything that had happened, she just wanted to be left alone to cry and blame herself in peace. She knew that Lucas didn't know everything that had happened because she couldn't tell him, but she'd told him that another agent had been injured because she'd been out of it. He at least understood the gist of it.

Lucas' hands cupped her face and then he kissed her forehead. "It's going to be okay," he told her and nudged her inside the apartment and allowed himself in before closing the door behind him. "You said that the agent is going to be fine, right?" He wrapped an arm around her and she just nodded as he guided her to the couch. "Okay, so we're going to have tea-"

"Lucas-"

"Alex, let me take care of you, okay?" She just sat on the couch and watched him move to the kitchen. He went through cupboards before he looked at her confused. "No kettle?"

"Why?"

"To boil the water."

"Mugs. Water. Microwave."

Lucas huffed. "Well, you're certainly going to need a kettle, but that will do for tonight."

She didn't know why there was tea or why Lucas felt the need to come and take care of her, but he'd already seen the mess that she was so it seemed horrible of her to send him away when he was only trying to help her. Her phone dinged and Alex pulled it out of her pocket, knowing that it couldn't be from Lucas since he was busying himself in the kitchen.

 **Kara Danvers:** I just heard what happened. You okay? Do you want me to come over?

 **Alex Danvers:** You were right. I should have stayed home. It's my fault that Adler's hurt.

 **Kara Danvers:** Alex, I'm coming over.

 **Alex Danvers:** No, Lucas is here. I really want to be alone, but he's already here…

 **Kara Danvers:** Okay. Well, let me know if you need me. I'll be around.

 **Alex Danvers:** Thank you.

 **Kara Danvers:** Call me when you get up if we don't talk later. We can have breakfast together. I'll come over and make pancakes.

 **Alex Danvers:** Deal.

 **Kara Danvers:** Love you.

 **Alex Danvers:** I love you.

"Kara?"

Alex nearly jumped and then sucked in a breath to steady herself. "Yes, sorry…"

"I hadn't meant to sneak up on you," he said as he sat down next to her before pushing the hot mug between her hands. "Try to breathe and then drink down the tea...that'll help calm you."

She really didn't want to be calm. Alex just wanted to dwell in the fact that she'd just completely sucked at being a DEO agent and that she could have gotten someone else killed. She didn't know how to be any more grateful that Adler was so tough and so on it. Not even J'onn had been quick enough to push her out of the way.

"Let's just watch something to distract you," Lucas offered as he grabbed the remote. "'The Walking Dead'?"

"You hate that show," Alex reminded with raised eyebrows before sipping the tea.

Lucas smiled at that. "True, but I love listening to your commentary about how they're doing it all wrong."

"Well, _they are_."

He turned on the TV and got to the point where Netflix was loading, a smile spread across his face. "Well, I already know who I need to be with during a zombie apocalypse."

There was something so sweet about everything he'd done and Alex sort of felt bad for having tried to push him away. She leaned over and let her head fall on his shoulder. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For coming over anyways."

"I will always take care of you, Alex," he whispered before dropping a kiss to her temple.

And she believed him.

* * *

"No!"

Alex woke screaming in the middle of the night. Her heart was racing, her head and heart were thudding in a heavy pounding tandem, and she was sweating far too profusely. Tears were streaming down her face and all she knew was that it was some kind of dream about someone getting hurt because of her. As hard as she tried to grasp to it, it just seemed to fade more.

Arms came around, holding her tight, and a kiss pressed to her temple. "Shh… It's just a dream… You're safe… You're okay," Lucas whispered.

She'd forgotten.

Lucas was there.

In her bed.

She was wearing an old Stanford t-shirt and panties while Lucas was just wearing his boxers. He'd obviously not come prepared to sleep over and Alex still didn't have anything for him to wear. As she sat there, his arms wrapped around her, she realized that she'd completely sweat through everything she was wearing. She'd been so hot and now that she was sitting up, she felt a chill hitting her along with a sickly feeling as the fabric clung to her body.

Pulling away from Lucas, she let her legs fall over the side of the bed as she sat there just focusing on breathing before she stripped out of the t-shirt. She wanted to completely strip and to change, but she was giving herself a minute before trying to stand. She felt his hand on her back and Alex pulled slightly away, but not because she didn't want Lucas to touch her but because of the heat of his hand.

"My intended," he whispered. She felt the bed shift and he was crouching in front of her a moment later, looking up into her eyes. "You're safe, you know that, right?"

Slowly, she nodded. Sucking in a breath, she then pushed it out slowly. "I know," Alex breathed.

"I'm here," he reminded.

"I'm too hot," Alex finally got out.

"Okay," he whispered. Without another word, he started to strip her down. "I can turn the air on-"

"No," Alex interrupted. "It'll pass…"

"Okay," he whispered and crouched back down in front of her again. "Do you want water? What can I do to make you feel better?"

She was sitting there on the edge of her bed completely naked, her hair clung to her skull from the sweat. Alex had thought about it a moment, she honestly didn't know what she wanted or what would make her feel better. "I don't know," she finally whispered as her eyes caught his, just enough light illuminated her bedroom, his bright eyes nearly luminous in the dark.

Lucas was quiet and then stood and pressed a kiss against her forehead. "I'll be right back," he told her. When he returned, he set a glass on her nightstand and held out the other to her, both were filled with ice water. "It'll help," he insisted.

She trusted him and she was certain that he was right. So, Alex accepted the glass and sipped slowly. Slowly, she was cooling off. It likely helped that she was completely stripped down and just sitting there upright. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep now."

"You've got to sleep a few more hours," he insisted as he swept a sweaty strand out of her face.

"I'm just going to wake up again," she argued. Alex couldn't go through another nightmare like that. She already was seeing what had happened in replay so vividly. She could feel Adler's blood on her fingers.

"Drink," he insisted as he pushed the glass to her lips.

Alex complied, but only another sip.

His mouth was covering hers as he pulled the glass away. Alex blinked for a moment and then returned the kiss, wanting to be lost in something that wasn't her memories. "Let's cool you down and then warm you back up," he whispered against her ear.

 **SECTION REMOVED - PLEASE READ ON AO3**

* * *

"Crap!"

"What?" Alex mumbled as she felt Lucas pull away.

"My alarm didn't go off," he told her. "I had wanted to get up early enough for us to have time to cuddle in bed for a while before showering and me taking you to breakfast."

"What time is it-crap," Alex muttered and was rolling out of bed when she saw the time too. She had no idea what J'onn would say about her working, but she still needed to go in. As she sat on the edge of the bed, Alex felt like she really needed a shower but she really wanted to just stay in bed with Lucas for a bit longer. She swore she'd set her alarm on her phone, but it hadn't gone off. Alex reached out to grab her phone, but Lucas' kisses on her bare shoulder pulled her attention.

"Shower?" he asked.

"Yeah, but it has to be quick…"

"As much as I wish I could argue with you, I have to get to court this morning…"

They moved to the bathroom and Alex was the one who started the shower. She walked out to go and start the coffee pot. Alex knew that Lucas was going to have even less time than she would, so she wanted to make sure at least he got his morning caffeine fix.

When she returned to the bathroom, she found Lucas checking the temperature of the water. She came up behind him and hugged him, laying her head on his back before kissing his shoulder blade. "I love you," she reminded brightly. These were how their mornings could be, she realized, and there was suddenly such a draw for it.

"I love you," Lucas told her as he turned around with the biggest smile on his face before kissing her.

 **SECTION REMOVED - PLEASE READ ON AO3**

The bathroom was filled with steam, but neither of them cared. They'd been quick, but they still both had to still shower, get dressed, get some coffee into them, and get to work. Alex wrapped her arms around him and just breathed in his delicious scent as they both waited for the other to be ready to move. Though her head was still spinning, she kissed near his ear and spoke words that neither of them really wanted to come to reality with. "If we don't get into the shower now-"

His groan cut her off. Lucas stepped back and helped her down, holding onto her for an extra second (likely to make sure that she could stand) once her feet hit the floor. "I miss vacation," he said seriously. "I liked having you all to myself."

And she missed it too.

She froze when she was finally in the shower, she swore she heard something. "Did you hear that?"

"What?"

"I don't know."

"It's probably just an e-mail notification on my phone," Lucas brushed off.

The shower was nice and though there really was no hot water left by the time that she was rinsing the conditioner out of her hair, they were in and out fast. Alex was fairly sure that their shower hadn't lasted longer than their counter activities shortly before.

She was out of the shower first, so she moved to give him some space. Even though they loved being together, Alex knew that he needed space as much as she did. It gave her time to dry off and pick out what she'd wear for work. Of course, she pretty much wore the same thing to work everyday, so it really didn't take _that_ long.

Alex had her undergarments on before Lucas even emerged from the bathroom with the towel loosely wrapped around his waist. "You're going to be late."

"I always tell myself I have to be there an hour early for a reason," Lucas told her with a shrug. "So, I'll just be five minutes early instead of an hour."

She just smiled and shook her head as she stepped into her pants. "Was it worth it?"

He closed the distance between them quickly, pulling her against him even though he was still damp. He dipped her for effect. "It always is with you, my intended," he whispered against her lips before kissing her hard.

When he finally straightened her and pulled away, she was a little dizzy, but she still shook her head at it. He started to walk away, still holding onto her hand, when they were finally only connected by fingertips, she realized that it was hard to let him go. He continued to move towards the living room and kitchen and Alex laughed when he lost his towel and didn't seem to care about it. She was pulling on her shirt right when she heard a loud bang and then the words that came next had her panicking a bit more than the bang had her.

"Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Cover up! Cover up!"

From the bedroom, Alex knew that extremely embarrassed shrieking to be her sister. Grabbing the towel, she hurried into the other room and found not only Kara standing there at her door that had been kicked in, but J'onn as well. Her sister had turned her back to Lucas' naked form, but J'onn just seemed irked.

"What the heck?" she demanded as she handed Lucas the towel. He'd been covering himself, but there was only so much that your hands could cover up.

"I called and I texted," Kara went on with hand gestures, still with her back turned. "You didn't answer...and I knocked...and I got worried…"

Alex sort of pushed Lucas lightly in the direction of the bedroom. Well, that was _one_ way for him to meet J'onn and vice versa. "I was in the shower," Alex told her sister and when she saw Lucas shut the bedroom door, she reached out and spun Kara around. Her sister was dressed for work-then, it hit her. "Pancakes," Alex blurted. "Kara, I-"

"I didn't realize Lucas was sleeping over or else I wouldn't have worried," Kara rambled. She could tell that her sister was still a bit embarrassed after seeing Lucas naked. She watched as Kara played with her glasses for a moment, adjusting where they sat on the bridge of her nose and avoiding eye contact. "I just was worried about you, Alex."

"She's not the _only_ one," J'onn spoke up finally.

Sighing, she covered her face for a moment. She supposed that this was payback for never having any embarrassing moments with her parents walking in on her with boyfriends growing up. "I know. I know. I just-"

"You still don't look well, Alex."

She dropped her hands and motioned to the coffee pot. "I haven't had any yet today-"

"There's something wrong," J'onn stated quite seriously.

Alex just stared at him for a long moment and she could tell that there was something that he wanted to say, but he wasn't saying. Was it because Lucas was in the next room? Was it because Kara was standing right there and he didn't want to say it in front of her? Or was it simply because he didn't want to say what he was thinking in general? "Okay...you're right. I feel...off…"

Taking a moment, she tried to put all of that out of her mind for a moment and went to the cupboard. She pulled out one of the many travel mugs she had and filled it with coffee for Lucas and then prepared it how she'd watched him do enough times to know how he liked his coffee. She placed the lid on top and set it nearby. Alex was nervous, what if something was really wrong with her? Sure, she felt better that morning, but-

"Adler's resting at home," J'onn spoke up.

Alex nodded slowly as she looked over at him. "We should drop her by donuts."

"I already did," Kara said brightly. "Don't worry, they're from both of us."

She just smiled at that and realized that waiting for Lucas to emerge from the bedroom was likely one of the most awkward moments of her life. Eventually he came out dressed for work. He had this sheepish smile on his face as he moved to grab his keys that had been left near the couch.

"It was nice seeing you again, Kara," Lucas said as he moved towards Alex. He gave Alex a quick kiss and she pressed the travel mug into his hands, which earned her another quick kiss. He looked to J'onn. "And nice meeting you…"

" _Agent_ Henshaw," J'onn said with squinty eyes as he shook Lucas' hand. To Alex, it seemed like J'onn was extremely grumpy and for a second she was worried about J'onn crushing Lucas' hand, but he didn't complain. She'd ask J'onn about that once they were alone.

"Lucas Lewis," he greeted. "Well, I better go…" Lucas looked back at her. "I'll text you at my lunch break."

"Okay," she said as she watched him go.

Once Lucas was gone, Kara excused herself since she was going to be late for work as well. Her sister hadn't even stopped by Noonan's yet and Cat had already been texting her that morning. It seemed to Alex like Kara was going to be in for quite the day at CatCo.

"I'll drive you," J'onn said. It was definitely a statement, not an offer.

"My door," Alex pointed out before moving to get herself a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, I'll take care of that."

* * *

TBC…


	7. From the Beginning

"So?"

"She's suffering from slight fatigue and dehydration from what I can tell," Doctor Hamilton reported.

Alex held up a hand in confusion. "I _rested_. I slept a lot on vacation...probably more than I've ever slept in my life...and I slept last night a good amount of time." There had been a lot of nights during her time at the DEO where she'd slept a lot less hours and been fine. "I don't know how it's possible that I still don't feel right."

"Well, we're going to run a full panel, but I want to order scans...just to be sure."

J'onn nodded. "Thank you."

Alex got down from the med bay table. The doctor had already told her that and she was supposed to come back in an hour to start the scans. She'd actually requested that time so that she could talk to J'onn. She waited until the doctor left and then crossed her arms over her chest and looked at her boss. "You've had this same look on your face since you were in my apartment earlier."

"Look?"

"Like there's something that you want to say, but aren't," Alex accused.

J'onn was quiet for a long moment and she could see him deciding on whether or not he should actually share with her whatever had been on his mind. "Lucas," J'onn said. He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to start to say something. "I know that it wasn't the best circumstances to meet him. I know that he makes you happy." He paused for a long moment and he looked like he was about to deliver the worst news of someone's life. "I couldn't read him, Alex."

She just stared at him.

The silence spread out between them and Alex knew what that meant. Or at least what it seemed to mean. Lucas _wasn't_ human. That didn't mean anything, though. Even _if_ Lucas _was_ an alien, that didn't mean that he was a bad person.

"Alex?" he whispered.

She looked at him. "What do I do?"

"Does he know what you do?"

"Of course not," Alex said quickly. "He thinks I'm FBI. It made more sense than saying I work in a lab. Too many unexplainable bruises."

"We need to know what he is."

Alex sat down and thought it over. This felt so wrong. "He's a lawyer-"

"Alex-"

How he said her name, she knew that there was more. She didn't want to hear it. "I just-"

"Okay," he said gently.

Dropping her head into her hands, she just tried to think.

Silence.

Indecision raged inside of her.

"I could call Kara-"

"No!" Alex snapped quickly as her hands dropped and she looked at him. She was so torn and confused. The last thing she wanted right now was for Kara to be pulled from work for this. "It...it could be nothing…"

"He could be some kind of predator...he could be doing this to you," J'onn pointed out. "Whatever is happening…"

Covering her face again, she squinted her eyes shut, and tried to keep the tears back. No. Her mind just kept screaming 'no'. So badly she just wanted to let it out, but she couldn't. Alex had to hold it together.

* * *

"There's nothing coming up in any of the scans or any of the tests I've run to explain the symptoms Agent Danvers has been experiencing."

"Thank you, Doctor."

J'onn waited until the doctor left before looking over at her. She'd had blood drawn, scans done, and she'd slept the entire day away in med bay. "What does this mean?" she asked quietly, even though she was fairly sure what it meant.

"We're going to have to bring him in," J'onn said gently. "I can have Benanti-"

"No," Alex whispered. "I should be the one-"

"You're not going alone."

"I'll be fine."

"Alex-"

"Please."

"I'm coming with you, Alex," he told her.

Alex just stared at him and knew that there was no point in arguing. He was doing this to keep her safe. He was doing this because he worried and cared about her. She also was still tired and wasn't sure that driving was really the best idea. "He can't be doing this," Alex whispered sadly as she stared at him. Lucas loved her. Never in Alex's life had she fallen for someone so hard, besides Kara because everyone loved her sister (how could not fall in love that bright ray of sunshine?).

"There are plenty of creatures in this universe that are capable of stealing a person's energy," J'onn told her. "Some of them were on Fort Rozz."

"Did you search the database?"

"His facial structure does not match any in the database."

"But he could be a shapeshifter?"

"It's possible."

Alex just let that sink in for a long moment. All she could think about was how wonderful Lucas had been and how hard she'd fallen in love with him in such a short span of time. This was something that she didn't want to believe, but she knew that with her occupation that what J'onn was saying was possible. She didn't want it to be true, though. "Could you be wrong?"

He didn't answer right away. "I suppose…"

She stared at him. "You're lying."

"Alex-"

She covered her face again. "He helps people," Alex whispered.

"I know."

"He's been nothing but wonderful to me," Alex pointed out.

"I know."

Hands dropping, she looked at him again. "I love him."

J'onn's voice was even quieter. "I know."

* * *

"Alex!"

Her chest seized and she couldn't breathe for a moment. Lucas looked so excited and happy to see her as he moved towards her and J'onn outside of the courthouse. She had to swallow everything done and put a smile on her face, she knew that she couldn't make a scene...not here...they could explain, but in the car. "Hi," she whispered as his arms wrapped around her.

He pulled back and looked between her and J'onn. "Didn't know you were bringing company."

"I need you to come with me," Alex told him as she held onto his hand. She looked over to J'onn, hopeful that he'd read something from Lucas...that before it had been a fluke...or J'onn had been too focused on something else, but then he shook his head. This only seemed to confirm that there was something different about Lucas and it killed her all the more.

Lucas was looking between them again and his face fell. "What's-what's going on?"

"I need you to come with us," Alex said heartbroken as she squeezed his hand in hers.

"I don't understand-"

"I know, but please...just trust me."

He stared at her and Alex was certain that he'd come with her without arguing, but they weren't moving. She sucked in a shaky breath and his level of concern seemed to skyrocket. It was getting harder every moment, in every breath, to hold herself together. "Okay," he finally whispered.

* * *

"I thought you worked for the FBI…"

"We're part of a secret organization," J'onn explained as he walked him through the DEO. They'd cuffed him (and he'd had to be brought in with a bag over his head up until this point), the entire time, Alex had held onto his arm trying to bring him some sense of comfort. "The DEO is the Department of Extra-Normal Operations. We protect Earth from alien threats…"

"I'm still confused."

Alex just watched him, but didn't want to say anything until they were alone. They were taking him to one of the containment rooms and there they'd explain everything and take it from there. She knew that J'onn was hoping that he'd make this easy on them and in all honesty, so was she. She just wanted to hear him say that he didn't think that any of that mattered…

It didn't.

Once they were in the containment room, J'onn locked them in and Alex released him from the cuffs. The door to the glass cell was open and waiting and she watched as Lucas looked between them and the cell warily.

"What planet are you from?" J'onn asked him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lucas said, getting a bit riled up.

Alex put her hand on his arm, but he pulled away, and to Alex...he might as well have stabbed her in the heart. This was a lot, she knew that. There had to be an explanation, though. "They've run every kind of test and scan on me and there's nothing to explain why I've been so exhausted…"

"So, it's because I'm from another planet?"

J'onn tilted his head for a moment and Alex knew that he had to be extremely confidant in his inability to read Lucas' mind because his eyes started to glow red and his skin began to tint to green, his size increasing.

She watched Lucas, there was only the briefest flash of confusion that washed over his face. What came next left her unable to move and shocked. Lucas shoved J'onn backwards until he collided with the wall. Now in full Green Martian form, J'onn fought back. The two of them tossing each other back and forth across the room, but Lucas never changed.

"Stop!" Alex shouted, not sure what to do other than that.

J'onn had Lucas pinned against one of the walls, his fist back and ready to deliver a punch. He froze and he changed back into the form of Hank Henshaw, his eyes glowing red and in that moment, Alex saw it...Lucas' beautiful blue eyes glowing right back. She sucked in a breath and took a step back from them both.

"I will not let you harm her," Lucas growled.

J'onn didn't respond right away. "I am not the one causing her harm…"

"What are you?" Alex finally whispered.

It took J'onn a moment, but he released Lucas and seemed to stalk to the other side of the room to regain himself. Obviously, Lucas wasn't a danger to her. He'd made that clear thinking that J'onn was somehow a danger to her. Alex just stood there, waiting for answers. Emotions swirled inside of her and she just wanted to hear the truth...she wanted to hear it all.

Lucas turned away from her and she just waited. "It is true that I am not from this world," he finally spoke. He sounded sad and even scared. Alex wondered if he was afraid that that would change her feelings for him. All she wanted was the truth. "I have been on this planet for as long as I can remember...I don't remember my world before this one...it has been so long." He paused and turned towards them. "My people live to be tens of thousands of years old...older maybe…"

"What are you called?"

"Your people have called us many things over time," Lucas explained. "This world has a stunning way of having so many words for the same thing… I have lived all over...I've lived many lives… They've called me monster, demon," he continued. His accent adjusted to pronounce the words perfectly. "Trauco… Alp… Tintín… lidérc… Tokolosh… Incubus…"

Alex took a moment to take that all in when he stopped talking. He moved towards her and she saw J'onn taking a step. She held up her hands to stop them both from moving and they both complied. She covered her face for a moment and sucked in a deep breath before she looked at him again. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"You weren't as affected," Lucas said gently and sadly. "I thought that I'd been given another chance… This has only happened two other times in my lifetime."

"Did you kill them...in the end?" Alex asked, almost afraid to ask it.

"I am over five thousand years old, my intended," he whispered as he stared right at her. "I have lived in nearly every corner of this world...and I have only loved three women as I love you." Lucas bowed his head for a moment before looking back up at her. "Thalia was the first that I loved in this way...and I fought the need to feed with her… That was more than three hundred years ago… I lived outside of a small village in French Guiana. I kept to myself, but one day...she found me...and something clicked. I tried everything I could to keep from feeding...from killing her...but in the end, the _monster_ inside me _won_ …" Tears fell down his face and his voice broke. "I promised myself that I wouldn't love another woman after Thalia…" He shook his head. "The village found out...and they came after me...and I killed the entire village…"

As she stared at him, she couldn't imagine him in any other way that she had known him. Lucas being violent, she'd seen him with J'onn, but she couldn't imagine him killing someone he loved or an entire village…

"I moved and kept moving," Lucas said. "For a long time, I was content moving and being alone. The world kept growing, though, and that made it harder… A little over thirty years ago, I decided that I needed to find a way to give back...to atone for what I'd done...for what was necessary for me to live, so I went to law school…" He stared at her. "You weren't even born yet, Alex…" he whispered. Lucas took a step back, his hands on his hips and his gaze fell to the floor. "I met Gayle...and I tried to stay away...but she was stubborn...and she was the first person in so long that made me feel like I was more than the monster inside…"

"Did you kill her?" Alex whispered. She'd known that his wife and daughter had died and now she was wondering if it had been Lucas all along.

"No," he told her with a shake of his head and fresh tears as he met her gaze. "No… We were happy. I didn't understand it, but she'd get tired...like you have...it was bad at first...she landed in the hospital...and then gradually...she was just tired…" He shook his head. "We were so happy...we got married...we thought we had it all...and then we had Misa...and it was more than I could have ever thought I was capable of deserving. The love of those two that I adored so much. I went away to a conference… Misa was four and Gayle had called me just hours before I got the call…"

Alex just watched him, waiting for him to continue.

He sounded like he wasn't going to be able to hold it together as a sob broke through. It took him a few minutes, but eventually he continued. "They were killed...violently...their murders were never solved. They had all kinds of evidence and leads...and the police didn't do anything about it, so one night...I found myself out there...killing those who appeared to be responsible...and one night, I killed him." He shook his head. "He'd been high and hadn't even known what he was doing until he was out of the house...he didn't know their names...he hadn't remembered their faces...he only recognized them from the crime scene pictures...from the necklace that Gayle had been wearing…" He turned his face away and his voice lowered and turned deadly sounding. "It wasn't enough...there was so much evil in the world… I spiraled into the darkness and killed so many in the wake of it…"

Silence filled the room for a long span of time.

Eventually, Lucas spoke up again. "I was shot...and I thought I was going to die," he said as he looked at her. His voice turned soft and almost serene. "I had some kind of vision… I saw my daughter… She told me that I was better than that… That I wasn't the monster I'd let take me over…" He paused. "Whatever it was...I told myself...I promised on their graves...that I would be a better person, be the man I was when they were still alive, so I moved around whenever it would become suspicious that I hadn't aged...and I'd do good where I could."

"That's why you do the pro bono cases…"

"Not enough do them," Lucas said. "The legal system is broken...everyone should be able to afford to have a good lawyer...especially women and children...especially those who are victims of crime…" He shrugged. "I came to National City… I did good. I had never wanted to love again, Alex...but you...you were like a drug...and I couldn't stop falling for you...and I fell hard…"

And so had she.

"I hadn't ever meant for you to be in any danger," Lucas whispered honestly. "The beginning of the relationship is always so hard...but perhaps it is because of your level of activity…that has kept you exhausted…"

"Will it kill her?" J'onn questioned.

Lucas' head turned to look at the other alien. "No...it shouldn't."

"But I'd be tired _all_ the time," Alex whispered and looked towards J'onn. "I'd be a liability…"

J'onn's voice turned incredibly serious. It was definitely truth telling time. "Alex nearly was killed by an alien yesterday because she was so out of it that she couldn't defend herself or those that were under her charge…"

It was true.

The image of Adler sliced and bloody flashed in her mind.

Alex turned away and started to pace.

"Will you imprison me now?" Lucas questioned.

"Are you a danger?"

"I'm a killer, but it has been some time since I have committed such a crime...that was a lifetime ago," Lucas admitted. "I'm sure if you researched and looked in the right places...newspapers and police reports, they would corroborate what I'm saying…"

"We want to run tests...see if we can better understand how your...ability works," J'onn told him.

"Fine."

"And I'll look into the rest while they do that."

Alex stopped and just looked between them, not sure what had just been agreed to. "What happens now?" she whispered.

* * *

TBC…


	8. Ups & Downs

"Please go home and rest, Alex."

"I don't want to go-"

"I'm going to have them put you in med bay and sedate you then," J'onn said quite seriously.

She believed him.

She didn't care.

"I just-"

"Alex?!"

She turned to see her sister standing there, dressed as Supergirl and her face filled with worry. She looked back at J'onn and knew that he'd called Kara. Her sister hugged her and Alex squeezed Kara as much as she could. There were no words. How did she talk about this? Alex didn't even know what was happening next.

"Let's get you home," Kara spoke in a whisper as she pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I don't want to go home…"

"My place then," Kara decided gently and put an arm around Alex before guiding her away from J'onn.

Not home.

Not yet.

Exhaustion was fully hitting her again and Alex didn't know exactly what to make of it all. There was so much to go over in her head, in her heart, and so much that she didn't know would come. Alex liked control and that's exactly what had been taken away from her.

"Pizza?" Kara asked.

"I'm not really hungry."

"I have soup," Kara offered.

* * *

Alex just smiled at that. Her sister was sweet and she knew what she was doing. She was being Kara, her sister, and her best friend in the entire world...the person who took care of her even when Alex didn't take care of herself. She knew that she would need to be distracted, so she was doing that. She also likely knew that she wouldn't fight her, not on this...not given everything that had happened. " _Thank you_."

"For soup? It's in a _can_ , it's not like it's homemade," Kara brushed off.

"You know that's not what I _mean_."

"You never have to thank me for being your _sister_ , Alex, or for _loving you_ …"

"I like to _remind_ you that I appreciate it, though," Alex countered. "Because I don't do that enough…"

Kara just shook her head, a bright smile firmly still on her face. "You don't… _You_ being _my sister_ is enough…"

"You are my _favorite_."

"And my _best_."

Alex couldn't just stay home...or at Kara's, for that matter. Her sister was at work and she knew that that was where she needed to be. She didn't care how much rest they said she needed. She needed to do something. So, she drove to the DEO, but had to keep Kara on speakerphone the entire way (which also led to her speaking to Winn and James when Kara had to run to tend to whatever Cat needed).

She'd gotten off the phone and just sat in her vehicle for a good five minutes, ignoring the looks she was getting from people. Alex had to really talk herself into getting out of the vehicle. Even though she'd _wanted_ to be there, it was _so much_ harder now that she was finally there. There was a gentle knock on her driver's side window and she jumped at it, shut her eyes, and then took a breath before finally looking at the culprit.

Alice Adler.

Popping her door open slowly, she unbuckled, and turned in her seat. "I'm fine-"

"Yeah...I say that all the time," Alice brushed off. "But then I have someone who reminds me that they know me better. The boss isn't here right now to do that, so I-"

"Drew the short straw?"

Adler shrugged. "I was going to go with volunteered…"

Getting out of her vehicle, she pushed her door shut and secured it. There really wasn't any need, but it was a habit. Alex walked with the other woman in silence for a moment before finally speaking up. "Where's Henshaw?"

"Dealing with General Lane."

Alex made a face at the mention of the general. She and General Lane definitely didn't get along. "What this time?"

"Lewis' information got leaked...no one knows how," Adler told her. "Henshaw's trying to keep him here on base-"

Her steps quickened, but she was grabbed and spun around. She realized then as she came face to face with Adler that her heart was pounding and her breathing came quickly. Before the other woman could say anything, Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she curled her hands into fists.

"You know he's not going to let that happen," Adler told her quietly. "He purposely took the meeting off site so there would be no excuse to try to take Lewis while they were here."

Alex opened her eyes again and just gave a nod. "Okay… Right… That's smart…"

" _Oh-kay_ ," Adler said. She put an arm around Alex and guided her towards where Vasquez was. Her tone was low and extremely kind, which made it a little creepy. " _So_ , this is _the plan_ … You're _not_ going to _move_ from the seat I take you to... _or else_ I'm going to have to lock you up...or have you driven home...and I _really_ don't want to do that, but I _promised_ the boss I'd do it if I _had_ to."

So, Alex sat next to Vasquez and though she wasn't pleased with it. She gave Adler a nod. Pushing hair out of her face and blowing out a breath, she turned to Vasquez. "Please tell me that I can do _something_ …"

"Do you really want to hear my orders?" Vasquez asked her with a raised eyebrow.

Alex was about to let out a sigh when she was handed a headset. She took it without question and gave Vasquez a grateful glance before putting the headset on.

"I'm only _supposed_ to play Words With Friends...or something lame like that to keep you occupied, but we all know that's _not_ going to work...and I haven't had _enough_ coffee today to think of enough words anyways," Vasquez rambled. "So, you're going to watch that screen," she continued as she motioned to one of them. "Delta is out in pursuit of an Ambler…and that's your job...let me know if they're in trouble and need help dispatched."

This was something that she could do. Alex gave a nod, "Okay." After a moment and a deep breath, she looked from the screen back to Vasquez. "And thank you." She got a smile in response before Alex looked back over at her designated screen.

* * *

She'd fallen asleep on the cot in J'onn's office, but the gentle sound of the door being carefully opened was just enough to wake her. Her eyes flew wide and she immediately looked towards the door in time to catch him sighing in response. J'onn had obviously not meant to wake her. Sitting up, she looked towards the clock on the wall before looking back at him, waiting for the answers she knew he had.

He'd been gone the entire day.

She hadn't wanted to go home.

Not without knowing.

No one had let her see Lucas. Adler and Benanti had run interference all day and had finally left her to sleep in the boss' office. Alex was fairly sure that Harewood was supposed to be keeping an eye on her now. None of that mattered though and she knew that he must have sensed her tension and upset...her needing answers.

"For now...Lane is backing off," J'onn said.

"Were you gone all day because of Lane? Over Lucas?"

J'onn sighed. "He killed a lot of people, Alex." His eyes met hers and Alex just nodded. She knew that. She knew that that couldn't just be easily forgiven. "And I did look into it… Of course, the South American deaths are so much older...I had to reach out to contacts we have down there and they likely won't get back to me until tomorrow."

"Did you look into his wife and daughter's deaths?"

"He killed over fifty people, Alex…"

Alex knew that look, what was coming wasn't good. She really still didn't know what to feel about all the people that Lucas had killed. She knew that he'd not completely been in control...but at the same time, she couldn't say that he hadn't had reason when it came to his wife and daughter...but at the same time, she knew that it shouldn't be left up to just one person to be judge, jury, and executioner. The confliction had to be coming through to J'onn because his face softened.

"Why don't I have Harewood drive you home?" J'onn offered.

"I just want to see him," Alex whispered. "I've done everything Adler, Benanti, and Vasquez have told me… I didn't fight them… Please? Then I'll go home, I promise."

"Five minutes."

And that would be enough.

"And I'm going to be right there."

Alex nodded quickly. He and Kara were the two people that she couldn't hide something like this from anyways, so she had no problems with J'onn being right there. After all, even if he were in his office, he would be able to monitor her...just in case...if he felt the need to. This way, she'd have his support...just in case she needed it. "Okay," she just whispered.

* * *

She was nervous.

The door opened and she entered the containment room with J'onn right behind her. Relief hit her when she saw Lucas just sitting there on the bench in the cell. It wasn't that she'd thought he'd disappeared, but he wasn't angry (or at least didn't seem so). When he looked at her, she could tell that the relief was mutual. Closing the distance between them, she pressed her hands against the glass.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner…"

Lucas pressed his hands over hers and just beamed. He huffed a laugh. "I hope you've been sleeping…"

"I've slept," she whispered. As she stared at him, she realized that this was stupid. He wasn't going to hurt her and she knew that. Turning to look over her shoulder to J'onn, she silently asked the question knowing that he'd be monitoring her thoughts. He seemed not pleased with this, but J'onn moved silently to unlock the cell door.

Alex stepped up into it and wrapped him into a tight hug. This was still so much for her to take in. It didn't seem real. It didn't seem like it _could_ be real. "I'm so sorry about all of this…" she whispered.

"They have _every right_ to lock me up for what I've done," Lucas said back gently. His fingers moved through her hair in a comforting motion. "I'm _sorry_ , Alex…"

She shook her head and bowed it every slightly, fighting the wave of emotion that was hitting her. She was still exhausted and that wasn't helping her control over her own emotional state. Lucas pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead. That only made it harder.

"I _never_ thought it was possible," he whispered. "For a monster to find love...especially when he wasn't looking for it...and then I saw you… It wasn't supposed to be like this… I wasn't going to break your heart… I saw you that day in Noonan's and I couldn't stop loving you from that moment…" She shook her head against him. "The justice system _can_ be just…" he told her and as held her back at an arm's distance, looking right at her. She didn't know how he could say that, he always told her about the injustices he fought. Then there was the whole catch that he was an alien and that meant that they wouldn't allow him the same rights as humans. "They'll investigate my crimes...and we'll have to wait…"

"The _army_ wants you," Alex argued upset and fighting tears.

"We can't stop an army, Alex," Lucas told her. He seemed so full of fear. Alex wondered if when you lived for so long if there came a time that you just were content with the possibility of death or eternal internment. Or was this all just a facade for her benefit? Whatever it was, it was making this so much harder. "But right now...I know I'm in good hands…"

"We're working to see if there's a way to... _control_...your abilities," J'onn spoke up.

"So that I wouldn't drain life energy?" Lucas asked, obviously curious at that concept.

Alex looked between them and then finally to Lucas. "But how will that affect you?"

"I've lived so long, Alex… My not feeding for the remainder of your lifetime… I think I could manage it," Lucas told her gently.

The remainder of her lifetime.

It hit her.

She would change and grow, but Lucas would forever stay the same. Alex hadn't thought about that at all. Sure, she knew that Lucas had said that he was five thousand years old and that he'd had these other lives with these other women...but...she'd just never thought about that. In the book of Lucas' life, her lifetime would only be a page...or a paragraph. A drop in the ocean. That would be it. Alex sucked in a breath and held it for a moment, telling herself that things would get sorted out...Lucas would be able to leave. After all, this wasn't her original intention when they'd brought him to the DEO. They were supposed to run tests on him, get the truth of who he was from him, and figure out what was going on with her. They'd done all of that and here he was being perfectly okay with it...still imprisoned.

He pushed hair out of her face before cupping her cheek. "Go home and sleep? Please?"

"Lucas-"

"Hush now, my darling dear Alex," he whispered as his lips crashed into hers.

The world spun and she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. The kiss lasted longer than she'd thought. Alex had been surprised that J'onn hadn't pulled her back, to keep them separated from that intimate of physical contact since they really weren't one hundred percent sure how it all worked.

When she pulled back and took a breath, she just blinked as she stared into his bright blue eyes. There was contentment there. How could he be content? It almost made her angry. All she wanted to do was fight and all he seemed to be content with...was sitting in that cell and waiting.

" _I love you_ ," she whispered.

"I love you," Lucas reminded, still with a bright smile. He brought her hand up and kissed the top of it before he backed up until he was back in the cell.

The cell door closed and sealed and she sucked in a breath and wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand before turning to see J'onn waiting for her by the door. He looked concerned, though this was starting to appear to be his standard expression when it came to her.

"I'll take you home," J'onn spoke up and put an arm around her as they headed out the door.

Alex leaned into it and wasn't going to argue about it.

* * *

When they arrived at her apartment, J'onn walked her up and again...she didn't argue with him. She was exhausted and she couldn't remember a time that she was so exhausted in her entire life. Not even that one time she got mono. She fumbled with her keys when they finally got to the door and they ended up on the floor four times before J'onn took over. Alex just sighed and rubbed her face with the palms of her hands as he made swift work of getting her door open.

"Thank you," she whispered weakly as they entered her apartment together.

She heard him close the door and she stopped a few steps in when she realized that they weren't alone. Sitting there on her couch in pink and penguin pajamas was Kara with a box of Chinese in her hand. She looked over at her bright and smiling as she chewed.

Her light.

Alex was confused though and she looked over at the microwave with its digital clock. It was past one in the morning. "Kara-"

"I have Chinese for you in the fridge, too," Kara said quickly getting up from the couch. "And ice cream in the freezer...and our queue is all ready…"

Standing there with her mouth hanging open and confusion spinning around her head, Alex just shook her head with her eyes squeezed shut for a moment. "But it's-"

Kara was now standing right in front of her, a serious look on her face. "Have you eaten today?"

Thinking about that for a moment, Alex sighed and spoke slowly, "Benanti forced a donut into me…"

"Yeah...that's what I thought."

"You have work in the morning," Alex told her sister. "You need sleep."

"So do you."

"Kara-"

"Alex, you have _always_ been the one who's taken care of _me_...even when I didn't realize I needed it… You've always been there to tell me that things will be okay, to let me cry while you just held me, and to cheer me up afterwards. _This one time, let me do that for you_."

"I let you feed me soup last night…"

Kara just smirked. "It was from a can…you make me out to be some kind of saint."

She was.

"Kara, you _do_ take care of me," Alex told her sister and hugged her. She looked over to see J'onn still standing by the door. Giving her sister a squeeze, she looked between them. There had obviously been plotting. "Are you staying for Chinese and ice cream?"

"And we're re-watching 'Fringe'," Kara said excitedly.

He smiled at them, but was keeping his distance. "I think I'll let you two-"

"Please stay," Kara requested.

J'onn seemed unsure and Alex wondered if it was because of her. She knew that he'd done everything he could for her...for Lucas… Was he not telling her something? Was there something he was holding back? Was that why he felt the need to distance himself from them? All she could think, though, as she looked over at him was all he'd lost...and how he'd said that it had been scary when she'd not woken up before. Without saying anything, she just crossed the room and hugged him. He'd been there this entire time...trying to be supportive, doing whatever he could, and protecting her. When his arms finally wrapped around her and he seemed to let out a sigh, Alex spoke up in a breath. "Just stay…"

After a moment, she pulled back and just waited for him to say something. She pushed her hair back behind her ears and then looked downward. She really didn't want him to go, Kara and J'onn had been her world for so long now...before Lucas...and she knew that no matter what happened...they would still be that world...that's all she wanted right now.

A corner of sanity.

"I've never seen 'Fringe' before," J'onn finally responded with a small smile.

There was a predictable and quite audible gasp that came from behind them. Alex just smiled. This was going to be fun...and interesting. "It's not _mindless_ entertainment," she pointed out seriously.

"You're going to love it!" Kara enthused. "Also...we might need a cow…"

J'onn just seemed confused at that comment. A laugh bubbled out of Alex as she watched his smile transform from the confusion. Kara was serious too. She figured that as long as they were going to do this, then she might as well get comfortable. "I am going to go change into pajamas…" she told them. "Kara, try not to scare him away…"

"Me? I would-"

"You get a tad bit excited…"

"It's ' _Fringe_ '."

As Alex disappeared into her bedroom, she knew not to think badly of J'onn if he wasn't still there by the time that she got back.

* * *

TBC…


	9. Facade

Morning came too quickly, but Kara didn't wake her when she got up. There was a full breakfast and coffee already brewed by the time that she made it into the kitchen though. Alex took her time and sat and ate breakfast, texting Kara as she ate.

 **Alex Danvers:** Thank you for breakfast.

 **Kara Danvers:** How did you sleep?

 **Alex Danvers:** Okay. The coffee is helping.

 **Kara Danvers:** Are you going in today?

 **Alex Danvers:** Yeah, of course.

 **Kara Danvers:** Because you don't have to.

 **Alex Danvers:** I do.

 **Kara Danvers:** You know that Hank will be okay if take the day off.

 **Alex Danvers:** I know, but I have to work. I can't just stay home and do nothing, Kara.

 **Kara Danvers:** Can I bring you lunch?

 **Alex Danvers:** Just text me around that time, so you can make sure I'm at the DEO still.

 **Kara Danvers:** It's a date.

Alex wasn't sure how she was going to do at work, but she knew that she _had_ to do it. Whether that meant that she was sitting with Vasquez and watching one of the teams or doing paperwork. She'd do any of it if it meant that she got to actually contribute and do some portion of her job. She just couldn't be idle or useless.

* * *

"I hadn't expected you."

Alex shrugged. "I'm here early...I figured that you might have some requests while you're in here."

"I'm _supposed_ to be a prisoner, Alex," he said gently. They were sitting together on the bench in the cell, side by side, Lucas holding her hand. "You have to _remember_ that… This isn't going to be _temporary_ … I'm so sorry, my intended…"

Looking away, she tried to push down every bad thought.

"You look better. You certainly needed that sleep," he said as his other hand played with her hair, but she still didn't turn towards him. He sighed. "You should just forget about me. It would be easier…"

Looking back at him, she just stared at him. "Lucas, I'm not going to just forget you. I _can't_."

"Doesn't anything I said mean anything to you? Your job, Alex, is to combat alien threat-"

"You're not a threat!"

"I killed people. That's not innocence."

She just stared at him. "You weren't in control...and-"

"And I _killed_ people. No matter whether they were _good_ or _bad_. Even if I killed murderers, rapists, and other such scum... _murder is still murder_." He got to his feet, pulling his hand from hers. He turned towards her, holding out his hands, palms up. "There is _blood_ on my hands. No matter how many people I save in court, it will _never_ be enough to clear that ledger," Lucas told her. "Don't you _understand_ that? Your friend...your boss...Henshaw… He's trying to give you hope, to make it easier...he's likely hoping that you'll come to the realization on your own that I will _always_ be a prisoner from thus forth. Why are you _so_ blind when it comes to me?!"

Tears streamed down her face and she felt so helpless in that moment. Before she met Lucas Lewis, if anyone had told her that she'd meet a guy she didn't know and fall helplessly and hopelessly head over heels in love with him, she would never have believed them. "Because _I love you_...and I don't know how to _simply_ turn that off," she whispered, pain clear in her voice.

* * *

"The boss is out of the building," Benanti said as she slid a mug of coffee and a donut atop a napkin in front of her. "I just thought that you might want to know."

Alex had been sitting with her head down in the hallway for...she didn't know how long...and she'd just been thankful that no one had walked down the hall and seen her in such a state. She just didn't know how to cope, her heart was breaking so hard.

"I could call Kara, if you wanted?"

Benanti was sitting next to her, so that she faced her as she sipped her own coffee. Alex knew that she was just trying to be a friend. With how much they all worked, those in the DEO really did stick together and besides Kara and J'onn, her fellow agents of the DEO were the only other people she really considered friends.

Sucking in a breath, she reached out and took the coffee that had been set in front of her. "No," she whispered before sipping the coffee. "Please… She's already going to be coming in a couple of hours for lunch…"

"You know, you're not alone," Lara told her.

Alex looked over at her. She wasn't talking to her like she was afraid that she might break, even though that's exactly how Alex felt in that moment, and there was no pity. It was just support, someone there if she needed them. "I know."

"Just making sure you hadn't forgotten…"

* * *

There had been a lot of just doing nothing around the DEO. Of course, she knew what J'onn would call it. He was out, so he'd consider her being in charge and supervising. She hated being idle. Alex was fairly sure that that was why he'd jumped at the chance to leave the base on a mission, because he felt the same way. It was like going stir crazy, but wanting a fight.

"You keep only _that_ cell on the screen," Alex commented.

She'd noticed it at first, but she'd noticed that it had never changed. Vasquez was keeping a live feed of Lucas' cell on one of her screens. Alex wasn't sure why, but after being in the control room for so long and there really not being a lot going on, she figured that it wouldn't hurt to ask. Alex was also fairly sure at that point that she wasn't really the one in charge of the DEO at the moment, it was Adler, but she was making her presence low key. Alex still noticed.

"I'm keeping an eye on him for you," Vasquez told her.

Alex blinked at that.

"The army was coming for him, right?"

"Right," she blurted out.

"I'm making sure that he's not removed from this facility without our express knowledge."

Alex wasn't really sure how to respond to that. It took her a moment to really process that. The entire DEO had to know what Lucas was, that he wasn't as he seemed. She'd expected people to see him as an alien or a monster or something...but not this. The concern from Benanti and her fellow agents, she'd chalked that up to pity, but really...they were just concerned about her. As she looked around, she remembered something that sometimes she forgot...this was her family too.

"Thank you," she finally breathed out.

Her eyes darted to that screen here and there, he was mostly sitting and reading (she wasn't sure what book or where it had come from, but it was keeping him occupied). There was some comfort and relief in knowing that she wasn't the only one that was concerned about Lucas. Even though Vasquez didn't know Lucas, she obviously knew how much Alex cared for him. That was all still very complicated and confusing to Alex, but she was grateful for the support of her family at the DEO just the same.

Benanti joined them a while later and was thoroughly enjoying a donut. Adler they all knew had to be walking around with a pink bakery box somewhere. "This thing doesn't have a hookup so we can watch the latest episode of 'Game of Thrones', does it? My DVR decided that it wasn't a necessary program to record last night… There were some choice words exchanged…"

Alex smirked at that.

"And by choice words, I mean that I was cussing at the damn thing until Alice reminded me that we'd just put Charlie down...and that the damn thing couldn't respond or miraculously have decided to make the recording that didn't happen appear…" Benanti huffed for a moment and took another bite of her donut. "But I need to know what happened… I keep waiting for the Stark children to run into each other…and now I need to know what I missed! They could have reunited and have run off together or something!"

Vasquez was shaking her head now. "That's _a lot_ of miles those Stark children would have covered in _one_ episode to be reunited."

"Don't dash my hopes!" Benanti told her dramatically.

"Sorry, Lara, I need all my screens today," Vasquez told her.

Benanti frowned deeply at that before taking another bite of her donut.

" _But_...you can use my HBO pass to log in and watch it online."

A gasp that was likely heard on the other side of the DEO left Benanti as a huge smile lit up the woman's features. "You are the _absolute best_!"

"There are _more_ donuts, right?"

"Oh... _there are_ …" Benanti said as she got up and scurried off, likely to find her wife and the donuts.

"I get a donut, too, right?" Alex asked Vasquez.

"Don't worry, Danvers, I'll make sure you get one."

"You're my hero."

* * *

"Alex!"

Her sister's bubbly voice brought her attention from the screens to Kara. She'd pretty much zoned out and Vasquez was looking at her funny. Alex sighed. Vasquez had probably said something about Kara being on approach and she'd completely not heard her. "Do you have lunch requests, I could have-"

Vasquez waved a hand. "Harewood already got it fifteen minutes ago…"

Alex went to say something-

"I think you need food and caffeine more than I do right now anyways," Vasquez informed her.

And she was likely right.

"I'll be back."

"Take your time."

Kara was standing there, dressed as Supergirl, and glowing just as bright as Alex remembered. Her sister was always so bright and so bubbly and peppy and Alex just didn't know how that wasn't absolutely exhausting for Kara. Alex moved towards her sister, who was holding a bag of food and Alex immediately motioned for them to go to J'onn's office. He wouldn't care. She just wanted to go some place where they'd have privacy. With General Lane wanting Lucas, Alex wanted to have as much of a barrier while at the DEO (mainly because of the threat of Lane) between her and her sister and their relationship.

"You doing okay?"

Alex pushed forward a smile for Kara's benefit. "I'm okay...it's just been a long day."

"It's only lunch."

"And I love you so much for making sure that I had breakfast, coffee, and now lunch…"

Kara was nearly bouncing now, her smile spreading and nearly contagious. "Just wait until you see what I picked up…"

A true smile spread across her face as she opened the door to J'onn's office as she realized that Kara had gone to her favorite food truck. Her sister really had to be concerned about her, not that it took Kara that long to fly there. Perks of having a loving sister with super abilities. As they entered J'onn's office, she still couldn't believe that it was only lunch time. Had she really spaced out for that long?

"J'onn was right putting Adler in charge," Alex mumbled as she closed the door behind her.

"Why? I thought _you_ were in charge?" Kara asked. "I didn't even _see_ Adler."

"Oh, she's about…"

"You want to tell me the truth about how you're doing?"

Alex sat down and stared at her sister. "I never expected to love someone in the way that I love Lucas…" She looked away. "The last two people that I really let into my life were you and J'onn…"

"Look how that worked out," Kara teased as she pushed over Alex's food to her.

Smirking in response, she shook her head. "I wouldn't change anything…"

"Is the same true when it comes to Lucas?"

She thought about it for a long moment, but before she could respond Kara was already speaking.

"Alex, they're working on something that'll allow him to live without hurting you, right?" Kara asked, but kept going. "So, give them some time… Maybe it'll be okay."

"He _killed_ people, Kara."

"We _all_ have."

Alex just stared at her.

"Alex, we're going to figure it out...you just have to hold on a little longer…"

And she wanted to believe her.

"And in the meanwhile, everyone's going to treat me like I'm going to break," Alex muttered.

"Not me."

Alex gave her a pointed look. " _You_ have been babying me…"

"I haven't!" Kara said with a gasp.

"You have."

"I just was just being a _good_ sister...it was more making time for you than I normally do," Kara told her. "Which makes me sound like I'm normally a really horrible sister…" She was frowning now as she seemed to think about that.

Alex reached out and placed her hand on Kara's arm. "You're not a horrible sister…"

"Alex-"

"I know you're just trying to look after me...that you love me…"

"I do," Kara told her. "You've taken care of me all of this time...sometimes it's nice for me to take care of you...even though I think you're much more of a challenge."

Alex balked at that. "You're the one who practically was screaming you were from another planet when you first went to school with me…"

"I _was_ from another planet," Kara told her with a smile.

Laughing at that, Alex couldn't stop but remember all the moments growing up that she'd been so embarrassed at Kara's endless wonder of the world around her. "That time on the beach...with the seagulls…"

Now Kara was laughing. "We didn't have birds on Krypton!"

"I wish I were nicer to you then…"

"I don't know why you say that," Kara told her honestly. "You have _always_ been the best sister…"

* * *

"My intended," he breathed as he looked up at her.

She'd walked all the way into the room, unlocked the cell at the control panel, and he'd just kept reading, he either didn't hear her or he'd gotten used to people coming and going. "What book are you reading?"

"'Me Before You'," he said as he held up the book. Lucas shrugged and smiled as he set it down and got to his feet. "One of the agents said I looked bored and brought it in to me."

"I think it's going to be a movie," Alex told him as she wrapped her arms around him. He held her and she just tried to forget the world around them, the circumstances.

"There are few movies that are better than the books," Lucas told her. "'The Mazerunner' movie is one of those movies...just so you know…"

"You've actually seen it?" Alex asked as she pulled back to look at him.

Lucas shrugged.

"I'm sort of proud."

"Proud, huh?" he asked in amusement.

Alex leaned in and kissed him. It was something that she'd missed, physical contact...intimate contact… She heard the door open and footfalls behind her. Vasquez was still watching and they were likely worried about the contact, but as Alex understood it...they were safe as long as they weren't having sex.

"Danvers…"

Adler.

Alex sucked in a breath and pushed down her feelings. She took a step back. "I'm fine," she spoke up.

"Henshaw wants to talk to you."

This was the worst timing ever. J'onn had been gone the entire day and all she'd wanted was to do was to see Lucas and now...now that she was there...J'onn was back and wanted to talk to her. She turned back. "Tell him-"

" _Now_ , Danvers."

"Go," Lucas whispered.

Alex turned back to him. She didn't want to go, not yet. "I'll come back after I talk-"

"I promise I won't go anywhere," he teased lightly with a smile.

"Lucas-"

"My intended, I have another fifty pages of that book to read...and I'm fairly sure that they might bring me another book if I ask politely," Lucas told her as he stepped back into the cell. " _Go_ , Alex… You come back to me when you can."

Alex nodded and watched him sit back down and pick up the book before turning to the page he apparently was last on. She sucked in a breath and then turned to Adler, who was sealing up the cell once again. Anger filled her as she followed the other woman.

"Sorry to cut your visit short," Adler told her. "But from the sound of it...and the boss' face...they might have found something."

Stopping for a beat before moving quickly to catch up with Adler, Alex was wide eyed as she looked at the other woman. "Are you serious?"

"I can't be certain, but I've been here for a while, Danvers," Adler pointed out. "I might not know all of the secrets...but I know when someone seems hopeful. The boss...seemed hopeful...and with a situation like this...I'm surprised he let that show...especially with how protective he is of you."

Alex just stared at Adler and her team of two as they marched off, leaving her outside of J'onn's office. As soon as they were gone, she turned, her hand on the door and her eyes on J'onn inside. She knew this man. There was something different about him and he wasn't even looking up at her, there was no way that he didn't sense her presence. He was thumbing through papers and Alex let out a sigh and just hoped that he had some good news. She opened the door and entered the office.

"Sit," he said without looking up.

"I'd rather stand."

Now he looked up at her. " _Sit_ , Alex."

So, she sat. Alex just waiting, watching J'onn. All she wanted to hear was that there was something...something positive. To have been pulled out of just finally getting to see Lucas after such a long day, Alex knew that there had to be a reason.

"The army is still pushing for Lucas Lewis' incarceration to fall to their jurisdiction, but I've requested that if there is any kind of trial for what he's committed in the past...that we are able to choose our own counsel," J'onn explained. "General Lane is pushing for it to be done through JAG, which tends to work in his favor because of the clearance of the DEO." He paused for a moment. "But I really don't want you dragged through it."

Alex took in a breath, trying to remind herself that she needed to stay calm and level about this. She knew J'onn was trying to look out for her, but if she could help Lucas-

"I'm going to reach out to Major Lane, see if she'd consider coming in for this one case," J'onn spoke before she could say anything else.

Blinking, Alex nodded slowly. "She's actually met Lucas...with me."

"At Kara's," he filled in. "I know. That might make her an even better defender."

She was quiet and she looked down at her hands that she'd folded in her lap. The thought that everything was going to be fine, that they'd figure something out was what she'd been forcing herself to focus on. Alex hadn't been thinking about Lucas facing imprisonment...one that could last her entire lifetime or even his… Her mind raced and she pushed back any feelings that were trying to cause her to drop into an emotional spiral.

"What do _you_ think?" Alex whispered as she looked up at him. "You've...sort of...met him… You've looked into his background. Do you think that he should be imprisoned for what he's done?"

"Alex-"

"I just want to hear it from _you,_ " Alex told him, her heart already breaking. "I _trust_ you, J'onn… Kara won't tell me the truth of it. You've been on the outside of this…"

He was so quiet and Alex just waited. "I'm not the best person to ask, I do hold a bias…"

"Because of me?"

"Because I would lock him up for as long as it took...forever...if it meant keeping you alive," J'onn told her seriously and yet gentle at the same time. "If he could be altered...or his abilities controlled by a device...that would be one thing…"

"And the deaths?"

"His species obviously need lifeforce to continue living, but from what I've seen...just from the evidence from his wife and daughter's murder case...it's obvious that it was mishandled." He paused. "I can understand the rage he felt...and I can't say that in his position that I would choose differently." He sighed. "But Alex, he can't control himself...not all of the time...and in the end, he's not judge, jury, and executioner… No one should have that power…"

"So what does that mean?"

"All I care about...really...is keeping you _safe_... _alive_ …" J'onn told her sincerely. "Everything else...he's atoned in his way...and it's in the past…" He was quiet for a long span of time before speaking up again. Alex not minding the silence as she was thinking over everything he'd said, trying to let it soak in. "I know he makes you happy…"

"He does."

"We're going to do everything to help him. I promise you that."

All she could have was hope.

And it was hard.

* * *

TBC…


	10. Options

"You're _too_ close to this, Alex!"

"I can't just ignore-"

"You need to take a step back!"

Alex huffed. She didn't like this. The doctors had been checking her out every day since they'd locked Lucas up at the DEO. She was improving, but J'onn kept saying that her head wasn't in it and maybe he was right. She wanted to work on the project to _help_ Lucas, R &D was working on some kind of device that would hamper his powers but J'onn wouldn't let her be a part of that. "Why?!"

"Because I don't want you blaming _yourself_ if it doesn't work!"

She just stared at him, eyes wide with understanding, and then she finally sucked in a shaky breath and nodded slowly.

His phone suddenly buzzed to life on his desk indicating that someone was trying to use the intercom feature. Alex just gave a nod, catching her breath and forcing herself to calm as she turned away. A hand on her hip and a hand on her face, she just tried to remember that people were on her side.

"Go ahead, Vasquez," J'onn responded.

"Sir, Lucy Lane has arrived."

"Have Adler take her to the briefing room."

"Understood, Sir," Vasquez responded. "And she's not pleased...just FYI."

She turned around to him in surprise. "I had expected it to take…"

"I wasn't going to go through the proper channels," J'onn told her, obviously sensing what was coming. "She's not military anymore. She's just a lawyer that happens to have had clearance for the DEO and what we do here. Your sister is also on her way...I thought you should know-"

"It's the middle of the day-"

"Cat Grant is likely going to be pissed, but she'll get over it," J'onn told Alex. "This couldn't wait. I used the government card."

"And what did they tell Cat?"

J'onn shrugged. "It's Adler and Benanti...they thought of something."

"Of course they did…"

"Do you want to sit in on the meeting?"

Alex blinked for a moment. "Yeah," she finally blurted out.

"Just sitting, Alex. I'm the one who's going to do the talking, unless I signal otherwise," he told her seriously.

She just nodded.

* * *

Kara was there and it surprised Alex as they met outside of the briefing room that her sister wasn't dressed as Supergirl. Normally her sister was dressed in order to protect her identity, as far as Alex knew...Lucy Lane still thought they were two different people. "Kara-"

"I _need_ to tell her," Kara said quickly.

"But-"

"We _want_ her to help us with Lucas...so that they don't see him as such a threat," Kara defended. "I'm _doing_ it, Alex."

"Not for _me_ , Kara."

"I'm doing this for _many_ reasons," her sister said gently. " _You're_ one of them, but it's _my_ choice."

J'onn waited for them, Alex had noticed that he'd sort of stayed back and let them talk it out. Alex hated this because otherwise, Kara might not have to reveal her identity to Lucy. Of course, they had to believe that Lucy would take it well, that she would help them, but it wasn't a given. Alex's impressions of Lucy had changed since first meeting her...but those memories of Major Lane stuck with her.

They entered the room and Lucy immediately seemed irritated and confused. "I don't understand-"

"Thank you for coming here, Ms. Lane," J'onn said.

"Kara-"

"We have _a lot_ to talk about, Lucy…" Kara said gently. "We _need_ your help."

"You're _with_ them? You _know_ about the DEO?"

This was _clearly_ something that Lucy hadn't expected.

Alex stood next to her sister, across the table from Lucy, and noticed that J'onn was at the other end of the table. He was likely waiting to see how things would go. This was a big reveal and would either help or hinder them. He likely had the best idea at which way she would sway.

"I... _assist_...the DEO," Kara said slowly looking at both her and J'onn and then back to Lucy. She removed her glasses hesitantly, setting them down on the table in front of her. Her gaze downward, like she wasn't sure if she could look at Lucy. Alex reached out and brushed Kara's hand with her own. She wanted to grab it, to hold it, to be there with a physical connection for moral support, but she knew what was coming. When she finally looked up at Lucy, she pulled her shirt open to reveal her Supergirl outfit underneath, the House of El sigil clear as day. "I'm Supergirl…"

The room was silent.

Alex waited and hoped.

They needed good news.

"It all makes sense," Lucy blurted out rather calmly.

She was sort of disappointed and expecting more of an explosion of one kind or another from the other woman. J'onn moved to Lucy's side and sat down. She and Kara sat as well. Alex knew that she was supposed to stay silent, but she was having such a hard time doing so...and she immediately caught a look from J'onn. She bit her bottom lip for a moment and looked over to Kara.

"You met Lucas," Kara started slowly and Alex looked down. "At game night…"

"Yes," Lucy said just as slowly.

"We need your legal assistance."

"I don't understand, there have to be-"

"Lucas Lewis isn't what he seems," J'onn spoke up now, firm and authoritative. "He's an alien...and now he's wanted by the army.. _.your_ father." He paused for a moment. "He's thousands of years old...and in that time, he's killed people…"

"I still don't understand."

Alex looked up and she could see that J'onn could sense her frustration.

So, J'onn started to explain everything, which included sliding the file that was in the middle of the table to Lucy. "He takes life energy from those he's...intimate with…"

* * *

At one point, she'd gotten up and left the briefing room. She just hadn't been able to endure being silent any longer and it was emotionally draining. Alex had apologized before she'd bolted and found herself staring at Lucas as he read. He looked so peaceful and she felt like there was a storm of emotion swirling inside of her.

When he finally noticed her, he held up the book he was reading. She could read 'Solaris' on the cover. There was a small stack of other books sitting next to him. Alex thought that it had to pass the time at the very least, though she wondered if she'd read them before. "Any good?"

"I've read it before...and I've always liked it," Lucas said with a shrug.

Adler had glared at her when she'd entered, so she was pacing back and forth with her arms crossed over her chest. They were being watched by Vasquez and she thought that it would be pushing it if she opened his cell. The last thing she wanted was for the room to be swarmed by DEO agents and for J'onn to restrict her access. She couldn't have that. She couldn't bear to be kept from seeing him.

"I wish that I could keep you better company," she told him honestly as she came to a stop.

"You want to tell me what has you so upset?"

"I'm just _frustrated_ that I can't do anything… They're trying and working on getting you out of here, _I know that_...but...I can't be a part of that...and that's hard for me."

At first, Lucas sighed in response, but then got to his feet and paced for a few steps before stopping and looking to her. He moved and pressed his hands against the glass, staring at her as he spoke so softly. "You have to realize that this might not end the way you wish it, my intended...and you have to know...whichever way it turns...that I'm at peace with it."

His words only pissed her off because she didn't feel the same. Alex fumed for a moment and then paced again, her arms flying up in the air. "Well, I'm _not_! I'm not at peace with it! With anything! All I do, Lucas...is _think_ about you," she whispered as her voice broke and she turned back to him. " _Dream_ about you... _worry_ about you... _want_ you...you are _everywhere_ in my life and yet...you're locked up and might be _forever_ taken away from me. How can I possibly be at _peace_ with _that_?"

She wished that he had an answer.

An easy fix.

Something.

"Because _I_ am…"

* * *

Her days spent at the DEO seemed harder and longer each day. J'onn still wasn't letting her out into the field. She blamed being stuck on base for how long it felt. At the same time, at least she was doing something. J'onn always told her she was in charge when he left to go out into the field, but she knew better. He must have talked with Adler and explained to her that _she_ was really the one in charge, but needed to stay quiet and be subtle about it. Alex knew anyways.

Lucy Lane had agreed to help them, but it was going to take time. After all, she still worked at CatCo. Alex was still impressed that the woman had taken Kara's secret so well and her sister actually thought that she and Lucy were doing better than ever. Alex just hoped that Lucy would be helpful on the front of defending Lucas.

"There's a whole lot of nothing going on now that they've got that situation mopped up," Vasquez pointed out.

Alex sighed. "I don't know how you stay sane being in here all the time."

"I know how to pass the time," Vasquez told her. "I read a lot of books… There are a lot of 'Words With Friends' games I play. You'd be surprised at how much of that I can get through in just an hour of quiet."

"I don't know when the last time I read a book was," Alex muttered as she sat there, arms were crossed over her chest as she looked between the screens and Vasquez. "I mean, I've read articles and journals in regards to things I'm researching here-"

"That's not the same."

Alex just smiled. "No, it's really not."

"What do you do outside of the DEO?"

"Spend time with my sister."

"That's it?" Vasquez asked. She sounded extremely disapproving.

"Yes?" Alex said slowly.

"Work and your sister...that's it?"

"Well, that's pretty much my life all the time," Alex told her.

Vasquez shook her head. "We need a game night or bowling or something…"

"Kara does a game night with her friends from CatCo," Alex pointed out. "I'd prefer something with drinking…"

"Yes…"

"Did I _hear_ drinking?" Benanti asked as she made herself comfortable in the chair near her. Alex just smiled at the other woman. Lara Benanti was always so bright and bubbly and if you didn't know her...you would never believe how deadly she could be.

"And possibly something else," Vasquez put out there.

"Karaoke?"

"I was thinking _more_...bowling…"

" _With_ karaoke?!"

Alex just smiled and watched the two of them. Even if they didn't do something outside of work, she was glad that she had these people in her life. "Kara won't admit it...but she can sing…"

"I don't _doubt_ it," Benanti said excitedly. "How about you?"

Her mouth dropped open for a moment and then she shook her head slowly. "Uh...no…"

" _Come on_ , Danvers!"

" _No_ …"

"You _can't_ tell me that you sing! Everyone sings!"

"Not me," Vasquez said with a shake of her head.

"Maybe in the shower...or along with Kara...fooling around...and poorly…" Alex told her. This was definitely not going in a direction that she wanted.

"Danvers!"

Alex's eyes widened and then relief set in. The boss was calling. "Got to go!" Saved by J'onn. She'd have to thank him. She hurried off and left Benanti and Vasquez behind.

* * *

Staring down at the tech in her hands, Alex wondered how Lucas would take it. So much had been going on and she couldn't help but feel guilty every time she saw him. Alex couldn't help but feel responsible for him being there. "It's lightweight," she said as she focused on the weight of it.

"I'm not sure how it would be for him to be able to use it at the court," J'onn told her. "But that's something that can be discussed later and arranged."

"But he wouldn't _have_ to wear it at court."

If she was understanding the silence behind it, it was just for the times he was intimate. So, _technically_ he could just wear it at home. The device was to keep _her_ safe when they were together. Alex didn't understand why else he'd need to wear it otherwise. Of course, she could have missed something.

"From what Torres said, it should really be worn _all the time_ because of how it regulates the hormones and chemicals in his system," J'onn explained. "It keeps them a steady level. She believes that there's an imbalance that occurs when he feeds."

"But that's all theory…"

"You're right," J'onn told her.

She looked at him and sucked in a heavy breath. "Does that mean you need to test it?"

"Before allowing him even the _possibility_ of Mr. Lewis being free," J'onn replied.

"But not here," Alex told him. She knew that normally this would be something that would need to be tested in a lab and under observation, but with Lucas' abilities...the feeding that his body did...that was an intimate thing and Alex didn't think she could even attempt for them to be in that state at the DEO."

J'onn gave a nod. "I understand and I had a feeling that would be an issue."

A thought came to mind and she squeezed her eyes shut at the thought. "And you and Kara cannot be like hovering outside of my apartment...listening…"

"I was going to suggest that he wear one of the trackers we use on our superpowered alien residents," J'onn said slowly and that seemed like the farthest thing from his mind. "I don't think that he would take off...but...we should be doing this as smartly as we can, that means being prepared for anything."

"You're right."

"Do you want to tell Lucas alone or-"

"Come with me?" she requested before he could supply the full question.

They stood in front of the open cell and Lucas was walking towards them, it was clear that he was unsure about what they'd told him. "You don't have to do it," J'onn informed Lucas.

Alex was dying inside at the idea of Lucas not wanting to give it a try. That meant that it was less likely that the DEO and/or the army would allow for his release no matter what the legal side said. She couldn't help but be bias. She wanted him to go home with her. Alex had found herself missing him in a distressing way. Her gaze moved away and she found a spot on the wall to focus on, she didn't want to sway his decision. This was _important_ and it needed to be _his_ decision.

" _When_ can we do it?" Lucas asked.

Looking over to him, she felt optimistic all of the sudden. "Tonight," Alex replied quickly.

"So, I have to wear the device...and the tracker?" Lucas asked to make sure that he was on the right page.

"That's it," J'onn told him. "I will also expect you to go with Alex and stay with her tonight and then return to the DEO with her in the morning."

She really hated the fact that Lucas wasn't able to help the people he was used to helping with his normal job, but this was important too...it wasn't _just_ important for _her_...but for _any_ future he might have. With Lucas' extended lifespan, she kept thinking that he'd already lost so much in life, she didn't want him to lose anything more.

"You're _sure_?" she asked Lucas.

Lucas seemed to soften with concern at that. "Are _you_?"

* * *

TBC…


	11. Taking Chances

"You okay?"

"I don't feel different."

"That's good, right?"

Lucas shrugged. "I'm thinking it's like medication. It's supposed to do good, but then you read a whole long list of sick effects...some of which are deadly..."

"Am I horrible for just being happy that you're not stuck in that cell?" Alex questioned as she pushed hair back behind an ear as they walked towards her apartment. She was almost nervous. It wasn't even knowing what he was or what he was capable of because she still believed in him and trusted him...it was that she really hadn't been close and alone with him in what felt like forever.

"You look exhausted."

"That's just my face."

He smiled at that. "I _know_ your face, Alex."

She ignored him for the moment and pulled her keys from her pocket and then shoved the key into the lock and turned. "What do you want for dinner? You must have missed something?" Alex questioned as they moved into her place, pulling the door shut and then locking it behind them.

"I really don't care," Lucas admitted. "I'm more excited about actually sleeping in a bed...and being close to you," he told her as his fingers brushed her cheek.

Alex looked down, blushing, as she bit her bottom lip for a moment. Her stomach twisted a little and she found him pulling her chin upward so that their eyes met. His hands held her head between them, a thumb brushing one of her cheeks. As Lucas stared at her, Alex didn't know what to say. There seemed like there was so much that needed to be said between them…

"You're nervous," he whispered and then pressed a kiss to her forehead. Alex closed her eyes for a beat, just taking in the feeling of his lips against her skin. "Don't be nervous… We don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with. Nothing has to be done tonight…"

"It _needs_ to be tested," she whispered steadily.

"You _know_ that your boss would understand," he said gently. "Alex, let's just be happy that we're together right now...watch something…" Lucas leaned in and kissed her cheek for a long moment. "As much as I'd love to have you naked against me, you're still exhausted… You need rest and sleep."

"You sound like everyone else," Alex said gently. "I don't regret it."

"But do you _forgive_ me?"

Alex just stared at him. " _Lucas_ …"

" _Forgive me_ , Alex," he said and got down on his knees, his hands taking hers. "I should have _trusted you_ with the truth… I should have given you the _option_ to _leave_ this relationship-"

"I _wouldn't_ have," Alex told him quickly as she squeezed his hands. She knew everything he'd done. The blood that was on his hands. The weight that he carried. This was never something that she'd wanted...to fall in love so helplessly with someone, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to blame it on hormones or a chemical imbalance, but as far as she knew...medical hadn't picked up anything that would suggest that.

 _"Please_ , I must hear the words from you," he pleaded as he looked up at her.

"I forgive you," she whispered, though suddenly she was filled with sadness. Alex wasn't sure why, she just was. There was a turmoil of emotions welling up inside of her and Alex just didn't know how to explain why she was feeling like that. She just was. "I-"

It was like he could sense her feelings, he kissed her hands. "I'll prepare dinner…"

"I thought you-"

" _You_ need dinner," Lucas said gently as he got to his feet. "And perhaps...some time to process this…"

To Alex, that just sounded like she was horrible, but Lucas seemed to be completely fine with it. He was smiling and he was almost cheery. She watched him walk away and into the kitchen. He seemed fine. Why didn't she feel just as fine inside?

After a moment, the moment that it took her to really realize that Lucas really was okay and had everything out he apparently needed, Alex let out a sigh and moved into her bedroom. She dropped her stuff, sat on the edge of her bed, and pulled off her boots. Maybe she needed quiet, just for a little bit.

She allowed herself to just fall backwards on the bed. Alex groaned and found herself stripping down to just her panties and a tank top that she'd grabbed from her dresser drawer. Just fifteen minutes, she'd told herself. Crawling under the blankets and pulling the pillows just so, she closed her eyes and told herself that it was going to be just a few minutes and then she'd go out and check on Lucas and dinner.

But she slept.

* * *

It had been more than fifteen minutes.

When she woke, she found that it was pitch black in her bedroom. Groaning, she felt around. No one else was in the bed with her. Alex twisted and then sighed when she saw the clock. She'd been sleeping for nearly two hours now. She wondered if Lucas had come looking for her and had found her passed out. She hadn't meant to, but obviously she was tired and had needed a nap.

Not caring what she was wearing, after all, Lucas had seen her naked, Alex moved out of her bedroom. The lights assaulted her eyes at first and they recoiled shut for a moment before slowly opening and adjusting to the brightness. She found Lucas making the table and the moment that he saw her he was beaming.

"You're right on time," he told her.

"I would have thought that I slept through dinner…"

"No, I just adjusted it so that it would cook longer on a lower temperature once I saw that you were that exhausted…" Lucas explained like it was nothing. "It should be ready to be pulled out in just a couple of minutes."

"Okay," she said surprised.

"Can I get you something to drink perhaps?"

"Yes," Alex told him and moved closer to him. She realized that she'd been unconsciously keeping her distance. She had no idea why. There was nothing to fear from Lucas, she knew that.

"Wine?"

"Please," Alex replied with a smile. She moved to grab two wine glasses while Lucas inspected the small supply of alcoholic beverages that she kept on hand.

"It's nothing special-"

Alex sighed, "I'm not very good at grocery shopping sometimes…"

"I still found something to put together," he insisted. "Hopefully it is to your liking…"

"I'm sure I will love it."

* * *

It was late.

Extremely late.

Alex had probably had a couple too many glasses of wine. She was feeling the exhaustion take her completely over from head to toes, that might have been partially due to the amount of wine she'd taken in, but Lucas had apparently sensed it because he turned off the TV and was scooping her up. "It wasn't over yet," she whispered and it developed into a yawn.

"You need your sleep," he said gently. Lucas held her close, carrying her to her bed. She didn't even fight it. It was actually nice. They'd spent the evening just hanging out. There was a weight in the back of her mind, the reminder that Lucas had been released for a specific reason...to test the device that Lucas was wearing, but they hadn't done that yet.

It wasn't that Alex was scared of Lucas. She wasn't scared of dying. It was that she was nervous about the device's working, which would affect whether or not they'd allow Lucas to remain released (at least for the time being).

She found herself being tucked into her bed and she reached out for his arm. "Stay," she whispered.

"Sleep," he countered as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

* * *

At some point, Alex woke up, it was dark and she found Lucas watching her in the dark. She didn't remember when she'd passed out, just that she had. "Not going to sleep?"

She could see him smile. "Eventually…"

Scooting closer to him, she pressed her lips against his. Her hands moved to push clothing aside to find his bare skin. It seemed like he was fully dressed and she was still just in the panties and tank top that she'd put on earlier.

"Alex-"

"Shh…" she hushed as she kissed him again, this time it was deeper and she moved to push her own panties down. Alex was still tired, but she was awake for now and they still had to test out the inhibitor.

He hissed against her lips as he pulled back from the kiss, his fingers digging into her hips. "Alex, we don't-"

"I'm not afraid," she told him and pulled him back to her for another kiss.

He allowed the kiss just for a brief moment before pulling back again. "I don't want to hurt you…"

She stared at him and she realized that he was far more worried about this inhibitor than she was. Alex trusted him. Even after everything that had come out, after everything that had been revealed, she still loved him...and she trusted him not to hurt her. "You won't…"

"It's not a broken heart I'm afraid you'll die of, Alex," he said quite serious. He rolled away and then sat with his back to her on the other side of the bed.

Alex sighed and pushed back the covers completely. She tossed her panties off the bed and then stripped herself of the tank top and deposited it in the same area before moving up behind him. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"You're completely naked now, aren't you?" he asked as her body pressed against his.

Smiling mischievously, she nodded against his shoulder.

"You're like a siren…"

"I promise not to shipwreck you-"

"Sirens originally had wings given to them by Demeter when they were her daughter's companions, but they were taken away when they could not keep Persephone safe and she was abducted by Hades. Their song was thought to be them calling eternally for Persephone's return…"

"Is there some parallel you're trying to link between us and sirens or is this a random history lesson?" she teased lightly before pressing a kiss to his neck.

He let out a light laugh. "Both perhaps…"

"Lucas…"

"Hades took Persephone-"

"I'm fairly sure I've been consenting this entire time...and even after everything...here I am...naked and wanting you," she reminded as her fingers started to unbutton his shirt.

"You have too much faith in me."

"You don't have enough faith in yourself."

"It's not myself that I fear," Lucas admitted as his hands covered hers, stilling them. "It's how my natural biology will react with this device that your people have constructed…"

That was valid.

Alex pressed another kiss to his neck. "But we can't let fear rule our lives."

"I have faith in the fact that I love you...so truly and deeply, Alex...that I will not cause you more than perhaps severe fatigue, but that's also something that I do not wish to cause you," Lucas told her honestly. "Your position is important to you… You've devoted your life to it. It's a noble one-"

"Lucas-"

"I just do not want things with us to force you to change things in that area," Lucas told her. "I refuse to be the cause of that."

"We're going to figure it out," Alex promised. "But if we don't test the device, then we won't know if it works or not…"

"There are ways to pleasure you that don't involve-"

"But what if that's not enough?" she cut him off. "What if I want more?"

"I told you that you should just forget me-"

"And I told you that I can't… It would be like cutting out a piece of my heart." There wasn't any other way as explaining it as clearly as she was in that moment. They stared at each other and he sighed. She could already tell from the look on his face that she'd won. He'd relent his position because he knew that she was right. They both had this enduring love for the other, that wasn't going anywhere for either of them. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, my intended...so truly…"

"So love me," Alex voiced, her eyes on his, as she finished unbuttoning his shirt.

 **== Sections removed due to rating content - read full version on AO3 ==**

* * *

Her alarm woke her with a start. Alex reached out immediately to silence it and then rolled over to find the other side of the bed empty. Blinking, she frowned. Lucas had been there, she was certain. Sighing, she figured that he'd likely gone to make her breakfast or something along those lines. So, she got up and found that she was a little dizzy and exhausted. She'd lost out on sleep, but Alex had felt like it was for a good reason. Before she could get to her feet though, she clung to the bedding as her head spun once she was upright.

Sitting there for a moment, she looked around and listened. It sounded and seemed like she was alone. "Lucas?" she called quietly. After a moment, she pushed herself to her feet and though she was still dizzy, she made it to the bathroom without incident.

Getting herself ready for work, she realized something quite odd that she hadn't thought of before. There was no smell of coffee in the air. If Lucas had been making her breakfast then he would have certainly started the coffee. It all the sudden had her worried, too.

Dressed, but barefoot, Alex made her way towards the kitchen. Her heart pounded when she didn't see him. There was no breakfast made and the apartment looked as it had the night before. She was about to turn to find her phone when she took in Lucas passed out on the couch. He was half dressed and snoring softly. Covering her face, she told herself to breathe a little easier. There was no need to panic or think that he'd just left.

Running her fingers through her hair, she pushed out a heavy breath and moved to his side. She sat on the edge of the couch and cupped his cheek before taking his mouth for a kiss. Lucas scared her, though, as he kissed her back but shot straight up, his hand gripping her body to his. It was like she'd instantly animated him. She pulled back after a breath and just stared at him.

"Alex," he whispered, he sounded almost confused.

"I didn't mean to-"

Her words were cut off as he pulled her in for a kiss. This time, they were both awake and fully aware of what was going on. They got lost in it and when they finally broke it, reality set in…

"I wish we could spend the day here today," Alex whispered sadly.

"We'll be back here by the end of the day," he said with confidence. He lifted her face and he gave her a bright smile. "Look at you...a little tired...but that is entirely my fault from keeping you up at such odd hours…"

* * *

Since neither one of them had been particularly with it that moment, they'd stopped by Noonan's to pick up coffees and a pastries. They were headed into the DEO, she'd already texted J'onn to let him know that she would be a little late. He'd immediately called her and talked to her for about five minutes, Alex was certain that it was to assess if she was awake enough to drive.

"You know, you don't have to be nervous…"

"I'm not nervous," Alex countered and blinked rapidly as she forced herself to extreme concentration on the road in front of her. It was a lengthy drive to the DEO and her head was killing her from a dull ache behind her eyes which just made her feel like she needed a nap. "I'm just-"

"You okay?"

The words that left her mouth in response were slurred and gibberish right before she completely lost all control and her eyes slammed shut.

"Alex!" Lucas screamed.

The last remnant of reality was a loud crash sound before she completely passed out.

* * *

"This is _your_ fault!"

"She was fine and then-"

"Hey! Can we stop shouting? Alex is going to _hear_ us...and she's not going to be happy with you two fighting like this."

"She could have been killed!"

"She wasn't. Thank the stars for airbags…"

Though she could hear them, she couldn't bring her mouth to push out words or for her eyes to open. All she could do was lay there and listen to them talking...and then be pulled back into the darkness.

"Please...just let me be here until she wakes up and then you can do what you need to do."

The darkness always won no matter how much she struggled to regain consciousness. She was a slave to her own body, trapped and unable to be in any kind of control.

"Alex?"

"She should be awake."

"Alex? We're here… Open your eyes."

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't do it, though.

"I can let you know if she wakes-"

"Please-"

"You're a threat-"

"I don't remember-"

"I don't care. I won't risk it."

* * *

"Hey…"

Alex blinked rapidly to calm her head from the immediate ache that hit her from the bright light overhead. Eventually, she could open her eyes and her head didn't hate her for it. J'onn was sitting there next to her and she knew that she was in the DEO's med bay. "Wha…"

"Shh… Rest," he whispered.

She remembered voices. Alex didn't remember what the voices had said though. Her brow furrowed and she closed her eyes to try to force to the surface what had happened. Why was she there? Vaguely she remembered waking up and Lucas not being in bed with her...but no, she remembered them getting coffee…

"Alex-"

"I crashed the car, didn't I?" she whispered as she opened her eyes again. She didn't remember the actual crash, but from what she could recall that was what seemed to be the likely turn of events. She sucked in a breath and looked around. "Lucas...is he-"

"Locked up."

Alex blinked in confusion. "Locked up?"

"The inhibitor obviously didn't work-"

"He didn't mean for this to happen!" Alex snapped as she pushed herself into a sitting position.

J'onn's concern was clear as he tried to push her back down. "Alex, you've been unconscious for two days. It's not just the fact that his powers did this to you...it's the fact that we have several deaths that occurred during the time he wasn't at the DEO."

She didn't understand.

"The deaths, they look like they could be connected to Lucas-"

"No," Alex said strongly and shook her head fiercely. She didn't believe it. She wouldn't. He was a good person. "No, he was with me the entire time…"

"You had to sleep some time, Alex."

That was true.

"And his inhibitor also contained GPS," J'onn said gently.

And she already knew what was coming.

"J'onn," she whispered sadly and heartbroken.

If Lucas had killed during the time that he was with her...or supposed to be her...then it was her fault for him being released and that being a possibility to happen. Alex just couldn't see Lucas killing, not just as a spree… Before, he had some kind of reason...that didn't make it right, but there was still a driving force behind it.

"Alex," he whispered and she couldn't look at him. "They think it's because of the device…"

They had done it to Lucas...possibly. Squeezing her eyes shut, she let tears fall. "J'onn, we have to-"

"The army says that they can help him," J'onn interrupted. Her eyes flew back open in response. "They want to meet with him...and if it's something that they can do, they'd likely have to take him off the base-"

"No."

"It's _his_ choice, Alex."

That truth didn't make it any easier.

* * *

TBC…


	12. Destruction

"You know, the boss is going to be pissed."

That was true.

Alex glared at Adler anyways. "Or you could _help_ me...get in and back before he notices I have left med bay," she offered as she struggled to pull on a pair of scrub pants. Whoever had decided that putting her in one of the medical gown things with the open back was a very horrible person. As far as she knew, she didn't even have a scratch on her, she was just utterly exhausted.

"I value my life."

Sighing, she shook her head. "Benanti?"

"You really think _she_ wants to get into trouble over your shenanigans? What if we agree with the boss?"

Alex huffed. "I thought we were friends?"

"We're _family_ , that's why I'm refusing you...we care about you too much."

But Alex wasn't about to give up.

Sighing, she watched Adler leave and wondered if she was going to go tell J'onn. That couldn't stop her, she knew that. So, she pulled on the pants and stood there holding onto the edge of the bed as she waited for things to steady in her head. She didn't have shoes on and she would likely raise attention, but she _needed_ to see Lucas.

"Agent Danvers-"

Alex didn't even look over at the voice as she hobbled away from her bed. She knew it was Doctor Hernandez. "Don't even start with me…"

"You really shouldn't be out of bed."

"I really shouldn't feel like crap or be treated like a kid, but here we are…"

He didn't argue further.

* * *

She was nearly to the cell that Lucas was in, she'd ignored the looks she'd gotten from other agents. No one had dared to stop her, so when a strong arm came up in the space between her side and her arm, helping her from falling over. Alex half expected it to be Adler, but when she glared at the person at her side...her face immediately dropped.

"Did you really think you could leave med bay stupidly and I wouldn't know?"

"Who told you?" Alex whispered with a sigh. She looked towards the doors to Lucas' prison, she was so close, before looking back to J'onn.

J'onn tapped the side of his head. "Do you really think that I need someone to tell me that you weren't following orders?"

"I just wanted-"

"I know."

"J'onn-"

"I'm going with you," he said firmly.

Alex knew that this wasn't up for discussion. "Okay," she whispered. She let J'onn help her towards the door because she knew that it also wasn't up for discussion.

When the doors open, her heart fell. It wasn't just seeing Lucas sitting on the floor of the cell with his head in his hands, it was the fact that there was translucent blood splotches on different parts of the cell glass that surrounded it. It killed her to see him like that. All she could think was that this was her fault…

"Alex, maybe we should talk first," J'onn said lowly when they were just a few steps in. He had obviously sensed her distress, but she couldn't do that.

"No," she whispered, not looking at J'onn, her eyes were on Lucas in the cell the entire time.

It was then that Lucas looked up. He looked so broken. Alex pulled away from J'onn and moved towards the cell. "No," Lucas mumbled. "No!" he shouted now as he got to his feet. He moved to the back of the cell. All of the sudden he was mumbling in a language that Alex didn't understand.

Tears fell from her eyes, he was obviously distraught and Alex was having such a hard time not being able to touch him. All she wanted to do was wrap him up in her arms and hold him. To tell him that it wasn't his fault, that everything was going to be okay.

"No!" Lucas shouted, almost angrily as he came hurling towards the front of the cell, pounding his blood fists against the glass. "Get her out of here! Get her away from me!"

"Lucas, _please_ …" she whispered, her breath hitching.

"I told you, Alex, I'm a _monster_. _Nothing_ is going to change that."

And there was something in his eyes that she hadn't seen before.

It unsettled her.

"The device failed-"

"And not only did I still _take_ life from you," Lucas spat angrily. "But I _killed_ seven people! _Seven! Seven innocent people_!"

J'onn was pulling her back, but she pulled against him. His fingers were holding tight and he was using his strength against her. Alex wanted to say something, she wanted to make him feel better in some way, but she had no words. How could you comfort someone who had just killed seven innocent people?

"Alex," J'onn whispered as he pulled her.

All she could do was cry and feel so much guilt and so much pain. She felt like she'd done this to Lucas-

" _Forget me_ , Alex! Don't come back!" Lucas shouted angrily as he pounded on the glass.

Her heart just continued to break as J'onn dragged her out of the room. Once the door was shut, he turned her around and just held her.

Alex balled up her hand into a fist and pressed it against J'onn's chest. "He didn't-"

"I know," J'onn whispered so calmly. "The device altered his hormonal and chemical state it seems, which is likely why he's acting as he did in there…" He was quiet for a moment. "He didn't mean any of it…"

And she wanted to believe that.

* * *

"Alex?"

She didn't answer even though she knew she should.

"Alex?"

Covering her face, she sucked in a breath and then roughly rubbed her face. Partly she was pushing away tears while at the same time trying to break up the fact that she'd been crying. Kara would know anyways, Alex was fairly sure that anyone would know from just looking at her face.

Kara came into view, dressed in civilian clothing and glasses, with a duffel bag slung over her shoulder and a paper bag in her hands. "Hi," she said so quietly with a small smile.

Alex had needed to see that smile.

Automatically, she returned the smile. Kara's smiles were always contagious. "Hi," she breathed in response. Alex really didn't want to see anyone, but there was no way that she could refuse her sister. Not after everything that had happened today. Kara was really the only one that she wanted to see her like this, though that obviously wasn't a choice right now. Everyone had pretty much seen her break down.

"I brought you clothes," Kara said as she set down the bag. "I wasn't sure if they were letting you go home tonight...I could always break you out, though…"

Alex appreciated the lightness that Kara was trying to bring to the situation. There was no doubt in her mind that she'd already talked to J'onn before coming to the DEO. She'd known before Alex had even woken up. Likely everyone had known what was going on Lucas before Alex had. "I think they want me to stay one more night."

Kara nodded. "Well, I also brought Chinese…"

"You're my favorite."

"You know you say that normally only when I present you with food," Kara teased as she held back the bag. "Is it really me that's your favorite or the food service?"

"It can't be both?" Alex teased back.

Kara beamed at that. She was already going to work on setting things up. It was like she was settling in for an evening in Alex's apartment. "Okay, so you should go change...because there's no way that you're actually comfortable in those scrubs."

And she was right.

"I even passed on bringing you the pajamas that I gave you for Christmas."

"Because you love me?"

"I do prefer not to be glared at," Kara pointed out. "Though, I don't know why bunny rabbits with cute little outfits isn't a DEO approved print pattern…"

Alex just shook her head. Kara was always one that could distract her. "You know, you look like you're staying over," she pointed out as she grabbed the duffel bag and started to go through it for what she needed. Kara had packed everything that Alex would have wanted and things that she would have likely forgotten to pack.

"I am."

Alex looked up at her. "What?"

"You and I...we're having a movie night," Kara said like it was something that they'd planned the week before. "Benanti is going to hook up a projector and everything… Do you realize that it's just like two more weeks until 'Killjoys' is back? We need to re-binge watch the entire of season one before season two drops." And her sister acted like it was the most serious and pressing thing.

Alex just stared at her sister and then just nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Okay? I mean, unless you don't want-"

"No! No… No… It's fine. It's a good plan," Alex told her.

Right now, she really didn't want to talk or think about what had happened anyways, so really...this was what she needed. She needed her time with her sister. As much as she'd looked out for Kara, Kara was always there for her too...it was just always in different ways.

Getting to her feet with her things in hand, tears threatening to fall, she hugged her sister hard. "I love you."

"I love you," Kara whispered as she held her for a moment.

That was all she needed.

And Kara didn't let go until Alex was ready.

* * *

"Who needs the boys in this? I mean, they're pretty to look at...but Dutch...she is flat out gorgeous and beyond badass…" Lara Benanti looked over at them. Somehow Benanti had invited her to their 'Killjoys' re-binge fest. Which was fine, it was actually highly amusing watching Benanti react to the show for the first time. "Is there a word for beyond badass?"

"Dutch," Kara said like it was the most obvious answer.

Alex just laughed and shook her head. She tilted her head as she watched. "Let's be honest… We need the boys in this-"

Lara wasn't arguing. "Yeah, so Dutch can save their asses…"

That was true.

Alex opened her mouth to say something when there was a knock. They all looked over to see Alice Adler standing there looking downright exhausted. The other woman had been basically doing everything that Alex normally did plus what she did plus some of the things that J'onn had done. Alex still wasn't sure why J'onn had made her his second when Adler was so good at it.

"Love, it's time to go," Adler said.

Lara motioned for her wife to come into the room. "Come and watch this show for a bit…"

"We have to pick up Charlie, we promised her pancakes for dinner…"

"But Dutch is such a badass!"

Alex noticed Adler poking her head in so she could look at the screen. Adler sighed and shook her head. "Come on. I've got my own badass…"

"Who?"

"You."

Suddenly Lara lit up even more. She leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Kara's check before getting to her feet and moving to Alex. She hugged her and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Just know that if you need someone to marathon things with...Alice and I are always available…"

"Thank you," Alex whispered and she appreciated it. Right now, she didn't want people to pity her or crowd her, but she appreciated having her friends and family.

* * *

"Doctor Hamilton said you were cleared…"

Alex knew that.

"I saw General Lane," she whispered as she stared out the window.

"Mr. Lucas requested a meeting with him about his offer…"

"They're not going to really cure him," Alex whispered. "We both know that."

"Alex-"

"It's _my_ fault!" she snapped. Alex stared at him, hate filling inside her. She hated herself. All the people who Lucas had killed in National City, that had been on her. It was more than that, though, it was Lucas too...she'd destroyed him. All she kept seeing was him in the cell with the crimson stained glass, the bloodied hands, and this twisted look of anger on his face. His voice echoed in her head and she couldn't bring herself to be convinced otherwise.

She'd allowed for distractions, but this was the true reality of it all. All of it was on _her_. Alex knew that J'onn was likely picking up on her feelings in that moment, but he wouldn't convince her otherwise. No matter what he said, there would be no swaying what she'd already decided.

"I shouldn't have-"

"What?" J'onn questioned gruffly. " _Loved him_?"

Alex blinked. She knew that there was that Shakespearean line about how it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but right now...she felt like that was completely wrong. It would have been kinder to never have loved Lucas Lewis. She'd survived the world before him and he'd been doing so much good work before he'd met her. If they'd never fallen in love, it would have been doubtful that he'd even been picked up on the DEO's alien threat radar and he'd _still_ be doing good and helping people. _She_ was responsible for undoing all of that. _She_ was responsible for all of the people who wouldn't be protected or get the help they needed that Lucas would have provided.

 _She_ had destroyed him.

There was a knock. They both looked over to see Lucy Lane standing there. Alex had no idea why she was there since Lucas would obviously not be released after the people that had been killed. "He's agreed to go with the general," Lucy said quietly. "I thought you would want to know...that you might want to say goodbye…"

Now, Alex Danvers knew something truly certain, she had killed the man she loved.

* * *

TBC…


	13. Destiny and Free Will

The thudding of her own pounding heartbeat in her ears was deafening as she walked the short distance from the door to the glass cell in the middle of the room. Her chest constricted and her head swirled with emotion. Somehow she'd been talked into going in and seeing him before he was shipped out with General Lane. Alex didn't know why she was there, there would be no forgiveness, no closure. It would remain open like a festering wound, the guilt and heartbreak of destroying the once sweet man she loved and turned into the monster that he'd always feared himself to be.

To her surprise, Lucas was fully dressed in fine clothes. It almost looked like he was about to head off to court. His hair was groomed and he generally appeared collected and calm.

"Alex," Lucas whispered lovingly as he moved to the glass.

There was still blood smears on the inside of the cell, but there was no anger bottled inside along with it. As Alex stood only a couple of feet away from the cell, she struggled with why she was there. She didn't know how to say goodbye. There were so many things that she wanted to say-

"I was hoping you would come before I left," Lucas said. "I didn't know if you'd come if I asked to see you."

She tilted her head. "I didn't think you would want to see me-"

He seemed shocked at that. "Why wouldn't I want to see you?"

"Because of what happened," Alex told him, her voice breaking at the end. "It was _my_ fault." Tears streamed down her face and she couldn't keep her emotions in check any longer.

"Alex, it was science...the device interfered with-"

"I shouldn't have dragged you into this world," Alex interrupted. She motioned around. The more she thought about the DEO (what they did, the atmosphere, the job), the more she felt like a monster for involving him...for outing him. "I should have just walked out the door at Noonan's that first day…"

* * *

 **Weeks Earlier…**

Alex had hoped to catch Kara at Noonan's, she'd missed her sister...and pathetically it was about the only adult socialization she had in her life (and had time for) in the world outside of work. She'd texted Kara, but she'd just received an emoji back that told Alex everything she needed to know. Kara had been pulled into work at CatCo early. It was the third time that week and it was only Tuesday. At this rate, Alex wouldn't see her sister until Kara was able to help people as Supergirl later that night...and things had been busy.

A pastry on a plate was slipped in front of her and then her coffee was quickly replaced with a fresh one. Alex blinked for a moment before looking up and found that she had company sitting across from her. He was well dressed, handsome, and smiling.

"You looked like your day wasn't going well," he explained. "It's not even seven-thirty and I couldn't let that stand...you appeared so disheartened."

Alex wasn't sure what to say to that. She wasn't used to people noticing her...well, unless she was yelling at them or kicking down doors or something else DEO related. "Thank you," she finally said before sipping the new hot cup of coffee in front of her.

"I'm Lucas Lewis," he introduced with his hand extended.

For a moment, she thought about just leaving and not introducing herself. Things just never worked out for Alex, relationships or friendships (at least ones beyond Kara and fellow DEO agents). There was something about this man, though, something beyond the charming smile and the good looks and random acts of kindness. He'd given her his full name, which she felt was odd but he'd said it so naturally that it didn't feel weird. Alex found herself staying and extending her hand to his. "Alex Danvers," she told him with a smile.

"Ah, my work here seems to be done," he said. "A smile enough so to light a day."

"Quite the line."

"I honestly hadn't meant this as anything more than brightening your day, Ms. Danvers-"

"Alex," she corrected. He seemed sincere which had her even more interested in him. Alex prided herself on being a fairly good judge of people and Lucas seemed like a good one.

"Alex," Lucas repeated with a smile.

* * *

"Don't regret it."

How could she not?

Lucas looked heartbroken all of the sudden before he whispered to her. "Open the door, Alex." He was calm and even, but he just looked like he was ready to break.

They were being watched, Alex knew that for sure. She also knew that even _if_ somehow Lucas escaped...if she _did_ open the cell...well, Alex would actually feel the smallest shred better about things if he did escape. She also still trusted Lucas. No matter what had happened, no matter how dangerous Lucas _could_ be, Alex knew that Lucas wouldn't hurt her...though she didn't understand why. Moving to the control panel, she unlocked his cell.

It seemed like he waited a moment before stepping out. Alex moved closer to him, waiting for him to make the first move. She honestly didn't even know how to interact with him. How did she say goodbye? How did she talk to him in any way other than in guilt and apology? Alex just didn't understand.

His hands cupped her face and he was there suddenly staring at her. "If I live another millenia, I will _never_ regret meeting you…falling in love with you...or _loving_ you." He paused for a moment. "Please don't regret it." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she squeezed her eyes shut as he did, tears falling free. Her hands wrapped around his wrists and she instantly found herself not wanting to let him go.

"I regret the pain I caused, the fact that I-"

"Shh…" he hushed as he stared down at her before instantly wrapping her into a tight hug. "I've been thinking so much inside this room," he whispered as they swayed a bit. His voice was calm and he sounded so thoughtful as he continued. "I don't know if I am a monster or not, but I have realized that my life has been unexpectedly filled with balance. It might not seem so, but every period of joy is followed by pain. It's balance, even if it doesn't seem fair… I will never regret sitting down in Noonan's with you that day, Alex." He cupped her face again after pulling away. "The _only_ thing I _will_ regret is leaving you here thinking that everything is your fault-"

"It is," Alex argued through a sob.

"I don't want to leave things like this, Alex," he almost seemed to plead. "What can I do? How can I convince you? I know that I cannot go back and rewrite history… I can't bring back those people I killed, but Alex.. _.I_ killed them. The blood is on _my_ hands. I had the choice-"

"Lucas-"

He seemed to become more overcome with emotions and there was almost desperation in his eyes. "Do you want forgiveness?" Lucas asked suddenly.

She did.

"You're _forgiven_ , Alex," Lucas whispered. " _Always_ and _completely_ forgiven."

The truth was that Lucas couldn't really be the one to grant forgiveness, at least not for this...not to that degree. However, it did lessen the weight on her. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. "You called me Alex," she stated. Lucas blinked in obvious confusion. "You haven't called me 'my intended', not once." She might blame herself, but that was highly out of character for him.

Silence filled the room.

He was the first to finally speak and he was quiet about it. "I hope that this is truly not goodbye," Lucas told her gently. "But as _much_ as I wish I could promise you that we will be together...I _can't_ …" He seemed to be trying to adjust his tone and his expression to be more hopeful or happy, but it was muddied. "But I want you to allow yourself to be open to finding someone else...to _love_ someone else…"

As Alex stared at him, all she could think was that she was never going to allow herself to fall in love. It hurt too much when it broke. "Lucas-"

"I know I can't _make_ you promise such a thing, but I just hope that you will hold onto my words and remember them," Lucas said. "There will come a day where your heart won't be so heavy...where it will piece itself back together...and when you will realize that you _can_ love again."

That didn't seem possible to Alex. All she could think was that she didn't even know what she was doing in the morning. Her life...her job...functioning...she just didn't know.

The sound of the door opening behind them pulled their attention. General Lane, Lucy Lane, and J'onn J'onzz were all standing there and none of them looked happy or hopeful. "It's time," J'onn said.

What did she say?

Lucas pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you."

He kissed her, it was brief but passionate. It only broke her heart more and produced more tears. "I have to go-"

"I don't want to say goodbye…"

"Then we won't," Lucas proposed. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "May we meet again, Alex Danvers."

"May we meet again," she echoed as she watched him go.

Lucy and J'onn moved into the room. Alex could see the general's men in the hallway as they secured Lucas. Alex wanted her sister so badly in that moment. She wiped away her tears, sucked in a deep breath before pushing it out, and her hand fell to her side wishing that Kara would magically appear and take it.

Lucas was moved out of her line of sight and she realized that she had been holding her breath and someone was holding her hand. Kara was not there _and_ she expected it to be J'onn, but it wasn't...it was Lucy. Alex really wasn't sure how to react to that.

"Why don't you let Adler drive you home?" J'onn suggested gently.

Alex didn't even care. She pretty much would have gone into med bay and just slept. ALex just didn't even know what to really do but sleep.

"I'll take her," Lucy volunteered.

"I-" J'onn started to say.

"Adler's probably doing things," Alex said. "Like...my job." She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Emotions swelled inside her, but she refused to give into them and pushed them back down. "Lucy can drive me home," Alex said quietly. "Really-"

"Alex, I could-"

She opened her eyes and just looked at him for a moment. "I just need to go home and have Kara come over and eat a bucket of ice cream with me while we mindlessly marathon something we've already seen," Alex rambled. "And I can't deal with the thought of pulling you away from the DEO or anyone else after disrupting so much already-"

"Oh-kay," Lucy whispered and put an arm around Alex. "We're going to go and we're going to call Kara."

She didn't miss J'onn's almost hurt face as Lucy led her out, but Alex knew that she could apologize to him later. He had to have sensed or felt her turmoil and the tempest of emotions that had completely taken her over. Alex just didn't feel like she deserved comfort right now, she wanted to suffer a little longer.

All she wanted was to sleep.

* * *

Kara had arrived with quite the spread of ice cream and other comfort foods and Lucy had never left. Neither one of them had brought up _why_ it had been needed, what had happened, or even Lucas. They had just been there for her, sharing in the higher intake of calories, and trying to distract her with commentary as they watched 'Zoo'.

Lucas didn't leave her mind though.

Eventually, though, Alex fell asleep wrapped in her favorite blanket with her sister holding her. Alex welcomed that sweet oblivion and wished she could just stay.

* * *

Days passed.

Nothing helped.

Alex never felt like she slept enough.

It all just felt like she was going through the motions. Even at the DEO, _especially_ at the DEO it felt like nothing...time seemed to pass even slower. She sat in her lab, not even doing what she was supposed to be doing.

A brightly sprinkled donut and a fresh mug of coffee were set in front of her. "Fuel up, Danvers," Adler said firmly. "I need you to snap out of it. You're coming with me to scout out a possible threat and there will be no coddling or hand holding. You know how I feel about babysitting."

And she did.

Adler _hated_ babysitting agents.

"You're a fucking _agent_ who is alive and surrounded by the world's finest and best people," Adler continued. "You have a fucking donut and coffee. Pull it together and be ready to pull out of here in forty-five minutes."

Alex blinked.

"And if the boss tries to tell you that you don't _have_ to go, you remind him that you're an agent and that you can handle this."

With that, Adler was gone. Adler was pretty much the only person in the last two weeks who hadn't handled her with kid gloves. Alex looked over at the donut and coffee again before she started to work on making both disappear.

* * *

"Danvers!"

But she was already on it. Alex had seen the hostile and was already throwing herself over a vehicle in order to intercept it before it could endanger civilians. She put herself in between claws, teeth, a whipping tail...and the civilian home they were dangerously close to. Alex had the shot and emptied everything she had into it, so much for keeping things quiet, but the hostile only slowed slightly.

"Crap," Alex mumbled.

Adler was emptying rounds into it as well, but it did little to stop the larger raptor looking threat. "Vasquez would call this a rare elite spawn or some shit like that," she heard Adler say.

Pulling out her knife, Alex moved in to try to stop the thing. Adler was right there with her, knife in hand. The DEO helicopter was overhead and their black SUVs could already be seen, but Alex knew that they had to either subdue or kill the threat in order to preserve the safety of the surrounding civilian population.

Jabbing her knife in the neck, near where Alex figured was the base of the skull, while the hostile was distracted had seemed like their best course of action. Ideally, they always like to apprehend hostiles alive, but that wasn't always an option. In this case, the creature wasn't finished fighting and though Alex's knife seemed to have been lodged deep enough to remain in tact, Alex went flying backwards. From her position, she watched as Supergirl came flying in before knocking the creature back. By then, the DEO units had formed a perimeter of sorts with the vehicles. It was a matter of only a minute before her sister had finally knocked out the creature.

Adler helped Alex to her feet and they both watched as two units worked to secure the creature. Supergirl joined them and held out the knife. "That thing was _tough_ ," Adler commented.

"A knife, really?" Kara questioned.

Reclaiming her knife with a shrug, Alex told her sister the truth. "I'm pretty sure that thing is bulletproof."

"I'm pretty sure that thing proves that all the 'Jurassic' movies could be real life accounts," Adler commented. "Lara's going to be pissed that she missed it."

Kara made a face suddenly.

Alex knew that face all too well. "Have to go?"

"Dinner?" Kara questioned with a nod to acknowledge the question.

"Dinner," Alex confirmed.

Kara was then gone as quickly as she'd appeared. That just left the DEO units to clean up the mess made and do any necessary damage control.

"You did good," J'onn said as he joined them.

"Supergirl helped," Alex reminded.

J'onn just seemed amused at her comment. "Welcome back, Agent Danvers," he told her.

His comment surprised her.

"Next time, remember that I'm _always_ right," Adler told J'onn.

Alex was even more confused now.

"What about Benanti?"

Adler sighed almost dramatically. "That was an honest mistake," Adler told him. "She's like some kind of real life ninja unicorn."

"Unicorn?"

"I'll deny using that term," Adler warned seriously a beat later.

Alex blinked in quick succession as she tried to figure out if she was missing something. "Was this all some elaborate setup to get me out of the base?"

They both looked at her. "Civilians were at risk, do you honestly think we'd take that risk?" he questioned. He was right. She knew that deep down. "Though, I'll admit, there were intervention plans in place."

"And I'm so _gorram_ excited that we will no longer need to go through with those plans," Adler said far too pleased. "I suggest a barbecue at Harewood's instead."

As Alex stood there and listened, she thought back to her behavior and she too was glad that Adler had brought her back closer to her old self. What had happened wouldn't be forgotten. Alex wouldn't...she _couldn't_ forget Lucas...but the truth was that life continued and she had to keep moving with it. That was what he had wanted for her and she was finally allowing herself to do so.

"Not sure Harewood-"

Adler interrupted and finished, "Likes to volunteer as tribute? _Of course_ he does!"

This was life.

 _Her life._

She needed to be part of it.

An _active_ part.

Being active and coming to grips with her behavior and the choices in front of her didn't mean that she was just going to stand around and let life unfold as it desired. There were times where Alex thought that there might be such a thing as destiny, but she was still a scientist. Alex believed in free will and making choices. One of the choices she'd known she had to make was to not give up on Lucas. She'd heard nothing from him since the army had left with him to someplace called Cadmus. Alex was going to find him and find a way for him to survive safely among the rest of the human race.

They _would_ meet again.

* * *

The End.


End file.
